Title: too deep in love
Challenge:
Alpha - Haruno Sakura - Love (
9_ninjas)
Notes: She thinks to herself: I love him. It only occurs to her later that this might be a mistake, but by then it is far too late, and she is in far too deep.
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Haruno Sakura looks at Uchiha Sasuke one day, as he lies pale and shivering on his hospital bed, as he has every day for the last month. She places a new daffodil in the vase, as she has every day for the last month. She stays by his side, jerking at the slightest movement, as she has every day for the last month.
She thinks to herself: I love him.
It only occurs to her later that this might be a mistake, but by then it is far too late, and she is in far too deep.
She still loves Sasuke when he flings away her concern. The apple slices-all that she can do for him right now-hit the wall, and she flinches instinctively. He is so cold…not at all the Sasuke who let her hug him, hold him, cry into his shoulder and reassure herself that he was alive.
But she does not worry. Sasuke was relaxing his guard earlier, that’s all. He saw how worried she was, and understood that fear, and sympathized. It’s okay; he let her sob, and now he’s back to normal. It’s fine.
She still loves Sasuke when he and Naruto nearly kill each other. She sees his willingness to do anything to gain power, to grow stronger, and grows afraid. If he could attack a teammate with the intent to kill, what would be next?
She reassures herself. Sasuke may want power, but so does Naruto, and he certainly wouldn’t do anything drastic. He’ll be fine. They’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.
But then…Naruto wouldn’t be giving people long looks, like he was trying to memorize their faces, like he wouldn’t be seeing them for a long time. He wouldn’t be leaving training early without giving a reason, and buying a new, larger backpack on the way home. He wouldn’t…but Sasuke is.
Fearing the worst, but not telling anyone just in case, she goes to that bench. It isn’t intentionally for that first conversation-the bench is also located closest to the most people who could subdue Sasuke, if it comes down to that.
And then he is there, and she starts to ramble-she knows he doesn’t care, that what she is saying doesn’t affect him at all. He’s already decided, and any chance she had to say what she could have said is lost.
So she says everything, though she knows it’s pointless. She gives him her heart, her life, her love-her everything. Tries to convey in words the impossibly describable feelings she has for him. How she doesn’t care that he’s Uchiha Sasuke, she doesn’t care that he’s Number One Rookie, she doesn’t care that he’s a genius.
He’s Sasuke, and that’s all that matters.
And, for a moment, Sakura thinks her heart will break, because he says nothing, does nothing.
Then he thanks her.
As the world fades to black, she realizes how awful it is to love someone for their flaws.
She feels so empty when she wakes up. She can’t place why until Naruto points out her feelings. Then she remembers-she gave Sasuke her heart.
He must have taken it with her.
Then the tears start falling, and everything hurtssomuch, and she wishes she could stop loving Sasuke. If she stopped loving him, it would stop hurting to think that he’s gone, that he’s left and gone.
But she can’t, of course. Not like Sasuke’s fans, who were momentarily heartbroken, but moved on to their next idol easily. She isn’t like them.
She doesn’t love Sasuke for his pretty face; there are a dozen more in the village.
She doesn’t love Sasuke for his genius clan; there are other clans besides Uchiha in the village.
She loves Sasuke for Sasuke; there is only one of him anywhere.
And even on her worst days, when the aching emptiness fills her completely, and she wishes she could take back that day when she looked at Sasuke at his weakest and loved him anyway, she knows it is far too late, and she is in far too deep.
She thinks to herself: I love him.
Then she cries.
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