SaDiablo Hall, Dhemlan, Kaeleer, Friday Evening [Fandom Time]
[Cont. from here]
Raven"Because she is protected there, and she is loved," Raven said, her voice still tight with emotion. A threat to Karla brought out the worst in her. "And she is learning to protect both herself and others. If you attempt to isolate her, you will only put her in danger and hurt her by depriving her of the support of her friends. You will weaken her, and you will turn her love into resentment and bitterness."
Lucivar
"Better than getting sacrificed," Lucivar muttered. "Least from where I'm standing. Better that than her ending up broken, because she pushed herself too far. Again."
Karla
"Right, because I'm the picture of health now," Karla snapped. "After my week-long stay in Kaeleer, I'm practically glowing."
Saetan"Precisely," Saetan countered. "This is was what you get into here. And there? With not a male or anyone to watch out for you? You need help, Karla! Dinah said so and nothing I've seen makes think otherwise. You need a Black Widow to talk to, to get past things. We can get you more help here, with people who understand who and what you are."
Hopefully someone who would have a better idea than they did.
Lucivar"And Dinah said there are few enough people on the island who can help you," Lucivar added. "It'd be better for you here."
Morton"Karla, if I'm as crazy as I am after I was able to help you, what do you think I'm going to be like when I'm worried about you getting sacrificed!" Morton's voice rose steadily through his little tirade until he was almost--but not quite--yelling.
DinahYeah, Dinah wasn't all that thrilled about all the 'Dinah said' there, even if it was what she'd said and all true. There had to be a middle road here.
She'd set this off. Time to start the ending.
"If she were honest about what's been happening, and what will happen in the future. And got help on the Island." She spoke to Saetan. Then looked at Lucivar. "If she didn't get hurt for a certain amount of time. And didn't disappear on people again." Then to Morton, voice softening. "If she promised, seriously, to not scare the life out of you again." She took a breath. "Could we avoid the inevitable break-out from whatever gulag you put her in? Raven will do it. Ben will do it. It'll happen. Hell, I'll help too."
KarlaDon't sound so enthusiastic about helping her escape, Dinah.
"The first time something really, really awful happened at Fandom, I came to you," she said to Saetan, quietly. "You wanted to keep me here. How can I be honest knowing that any time, one of you might decide that it's in my best interest to be dragged home?" she asked, sweeping her gaze at the three males.
Morton"There's dangerous situations, and then there's going out of your way to find it!" Morton had surged out of his chair and was stalking toward Karla. "What do you think you're doing?"
Karla"I'm saving people's lives!" Karla cried out. "I'm doing what I could never do in Glacia! I'm protecting those who need it! For once, I'm actually making a difference!"
Hello Dinah's point. How are you?
SaetanSaetan blinked once, twice, three times. "Karla," he said softly. "Is that why you're doing these things? To make up for what you can't do here?"
Finally, something that made sense. Karla was a Healer, a Black Widow, a Queen. She needed to protect those she felt responsible for. But she couldn’t. Not in Glacia. Not yet. She was cut off and adrift in another world, and kept flinging herself into danger, trying to save and help the people there because she couldn’t do a thing to save and help the people here, except wait. Which was hardly in Karla's temperament even on a good day.
KarlaKarla's mouth opened but nothing came out. She darted a guilty glance Dinah's way, the first non-angry look to be cast Dinah's way from her since she'd entered the study.
"Yes," she admitted. "If I can save someone, anyone, it makes being exiled from Glacia that much easier to bear."
DinahDinah rubbed her face, and looked over at Lucivar, then Morton. At least it wasn't just her word now.
"That's a start. On the honesty thing." She took a breath. God, where to go from here. "Do you get why we're so scared for you? Two months, Karla." She met Karla's eyes for the first time now since she'd walked in. "Our deal was 'til Winsol." She looked over at Prince Saetan. "What would it take, to make you okay with her leaving here?"
MortonMorton looked down at his feet. Then he looked up and opened his mouth. Then he closed it and stared at his feet for another second. Then he spoke without looking up again, his voice soft. Small.
"She has to promise to come back."
KarlaHello Karla's flabbergasted face. You're getting quite the workout today.
"Why wouldn't I come back?" she asked. "Glacia is my home. You're the only blood family I have left. This is where I belong. What makes you think I would ever leave for good?"
Raven"Of course she will come back," Raven said incredulously, a tiny bit more in control now. "She speaks of Glacia often, and what it would mean to be Queen. She has invited people to join her Court when she returns. She has no intention of never returning. Is that what you are so afraid of? I can feel your fear, and if that is the reason, it is entirely unfounded."
Morton"She's trying to kill herself," Morton said softly. "That suggests she doesn't want to come back." Didn't want to survive that long.
Karla"I am not!" Karla protested angrily. "I'm not trying to break myself and I certainly don't want to die! I have every reason to live!"
It was only by strength of will she didn't tag a 'you idiot!' on top of that for good measure.
Lucivar
"Well, that's kind of what it's looking like from here," Lucivar said sardonically. "Maybe you just hadn't looked in the mirror today."
Harsh, he knew. But, dammit, more than angry, more than disappointed, Lucivar was scared. He'd had barely a year in Kaeleer, barely a year to get to know some of the best Queens he'd ever met in his life. He wasn't going to just lose one because of...of whatever was going on in her head.
Saetan"Lucivar, enough," Saetan said, voice sharp. "She isn't suicidal. This isn't about wanting death or wanting to stay away from Glacia."
He called in more whiskey, since Lucivar didn't appear to be sharing. It would give him a wicked headache later, but it wasn't like he didn't have one now.
"This is about control and the only way Karla feels like she has any," he said quietly. "By throwing herself into these situations, by running herself into the ground time and time again, she's doing what she could not in Glacia. She's saving people, as she said. She's practicing her Craft openly, and without fear. She's keeping control of her body, for all that she's abusing it."
Which meant they couldn't keep her from Fandom. If they removed all choice from her, bundled her up against her will and tucked her away somewhere, how much worse would it get for her to assert control over her life and her person? He'd already failed her once with this. He would not fail her again.
Dinah"Thank you." Dinah had to sit down, she was so relieved. Finally. They got it. Whew. She sent Prince Saetan a deeply grateful look, then had to quirk a small grin at Lucivar, since, well. She'd been thinking something similar about the way Karla looked. "That. Yes."
She bit her lip, then turned to Karla. "I asked you, before. What to do about someone acting like you. Got any better answers now?" And maybe put the seal on the deal to be allowed to go back to Fandom.
KarlaKarla bit back a really snarky answer along the lines of 'don't tell my friends about it.' Not only was it mean and not at all helpful, it was untrue. Dinah was trying to help her. Karla could admit this was unhealthy behavior, that she was unhealthy.
Still, it...galled.
"No," she said, staring at her feet, the words tumbling out before she could stop them. "Sorry I didn't come up with anything better in the twenty minutes between when we talked and when I came down here to be yelled at and banned from Fandom."
Excellent, Karla. That was very mature.
Lucivar
"Karla, you're acting like a spoiled aristo bitch right now," Lucivar said calmly. "I'm going to offer you a choice. You can either stop it, or I can haul you out to the practice field and work it out of you. In your present condition, I doubt it'll take all that long."
RavenRaven touched her hand to Karla's back, rubbing it gently. "Be calm, Karla," she murmured, sending her a soothing pulse of comfort, though she gave Lucivar a dark look, almost challenging him. "You will return to Fandom. I will make certain of it. It is better that they agree so they do not seek to force you to return, but it will be your choice where you go."
She looked to each of the men in turn. "And you are all wrong. She is not going to kill herself. I would not allow it, nor will any of the many friends who protect her." Raven was definitely going to keep a closer eye on Karla after this, and when she was cursing herself for not recognizing how self-destructive Karla had been acting. Mmm, irony. "And since you are so concerned about males guarding her safety as well, then you should know there is no shortage of them as well in Fandom. You have seen some of them here -- Jono, Ben, Bobby, Warren, Ender -- and there is also Professor Skywalker and Professor Maximus. Professor Skywalker is the wisest and strongest man I know, and he would defeat any who sought to harm one of his students."
Raven was an efficient multitasker. She could even fangirl at a time like this.
MortonMorton didn't look convinced. At all.
"If you're all such good guardians," he said softly, "then why has it come to this?" Clearly they weren't doing a very good job!
Dinah"Because we're not Blood. Maybe." Dinah sighed, leaning back into the sofa, looking over at Karla with a remorseful expression. There had been more wincing at Karla's reaction there. That level of anger and betrayal wasn't going to go away soon, no. "We don't get your world, or how Queens act, or shouldn't act, the way someone who is would. So it took a while to figure out." And that was half a public apology for starting this without thinking to warn Karla that she was going to talk to Warlord Princes about this. All she'd wanted for Karla was help; instead, they'd gotten Panic and Demands and Yelling. Of course, if Karla hadn't been lying so much, that might have been avoided too.
"But Raven's right, Professor Skywalker's a good guy, from all accounts, and he's dealt with a lot of different species. And Professor Atreides is awesome, and she helped me with my telepathic shielding. There aren't a *lot* of teachers who can help, maybe. But they won't turn her away, if she asks." If.
Saetan"I'm certain that if Karla returns to school, there will be no questions about her asking for help," Saetan said with a mildness that could almost masquerade the fact that he was steely determined on that fact.
While he had made up his mind that Karla couldn't be kept from school, it certainly didn't mean that he had to say that yet. Not before there were a few concessions made from a certain blonde, less-than-truthful witch, there.
"I suppose I cannot demand why they haven't noticed anything amiss, either. Not if Karla's as good at lying to them as she is to her family."
KarlaKarla winced every time someone emphasized her distinct lack honesty throughout this whole thing. And since Saetan had neatly cut off her "I never said I wasn't in danger" excuse at the knees, she went from having a pitifully weak excuse to having none at all.
"It...I didn't intend...I didn't mean to lie, exactly," Karla said, miserably. "I just didn't want...I didn't want this. I didn't want you to take me away from Fandom for my 'own good.' I didn't want you judging my friends and finding them wanting."
MortonMorton could understand that. Sort of. He didn't have the kind of friends Karla did, after all.
But, still.
"Karla... how close have you come to dying out there?" His voice was still soft, more worried than angry now.
Karla"Once," Karla admitted quietly, "I came very close. Raven saved me and if she hadn't been there, I would have died."
There. Have some honesty. Hope you enjoyed it, really.
"I have never come that close to dying any other time. It's not that I'm getting hurt with any real regularity, it's more..." she paused, trying to figure out how to explain. "...I keep feeling like as long as I have something left to give, I haven't given enough. I run myself into the ground sometimes because then, at least, I know I've done my best. I can do things that no one else on the island can," she whispered. "I can't just...back down and hide away from dangerous situations. If people need my help, I can't turn them away. Not won't. Can't."
Raven
Raven refused to admit that behavior in herself, which was probably why she hadn't recognized it in Karla. "I did heal her," she said. "As I always will should Karla ever come to harm. And there are none here who could do the same for her as well as I can." Except maybe Jaenelle.
Dinah
"You may not have come close to dying this time, Karla. But it's way sicker than any of us want to see you." Dinah rubbed at her eyes, then looked over at Raven. "You know I'm not saying you're bad at looking out for her, Raven, right? I know you always will. You just-- it shouldn't have to be something you do." For so many, many reasons.
Raven
"I am to be her Court Healer, Dinah," Raven said quietly, managing to not snap the words. "It is something I must do." Though that wasn't exactly the only reason.
Morton
Morton blinked a bit owlishly.
"What?" No one had told him about this!
Dinah
Karla still wasn't exactly sure whose side Dinah was on. "I ask you again, Dinah, what exactly was my alternative?" she growled. "Let more people die? Let Jaenelle take on even more of the Healing load? We ran out of food and water, because no one was planning on getting trapped in a siege with five hundred people! Sort of an extenuating circumstance, I think!"
Just ride that wave of self-injury, Karla.
And then she whirled on Morton. "That's right. I'm planning on offering Raven a contract just as soon as I can. Because I have every intention of coming back home to be Queen of Glacia!"
Dinah
That was news to Dinah, although not bad news. She brightened at Raven's claim. "Really? Oh, cool."
Karla snapping at Morton was really the last thing to make her stop feeling guilty about this, though. "Damnit Karla. Don't take this out on him! Do you know how much I don't like watching your cousin-escort-goddamn-champion nearly cry because he thought he let you down? Because he couldn't keep you safe when you didn't let him know where you were? Be mad at me all you want for messing up how this got handled, but stop acting like he should know better when you scared the living Hell out of him." She took a deeper breath and glowered.
"And don't pretend you don't know what I wanted you to do, what the sane thing to do was, either. I didn't tell you that you shouldn't have helped them. Or Raven. But *both* of you risk yourselves-- Yes you did, Raven, you would've stopped to heal every kid on the way into Agio, and I love you for it, but it was goddamn reckless." Dinah was shaking. "Ben had to force you to eat, force you to rest, force you to think. You. Need. Help. And yes, I think it should be Fandom." She took a breath. "But it's your decision." More bleakly, "It's always your decision. No one can stop you from doing anything, can they?"
Raven
"He is entitled to care and be upset," Raven said, starting to lose the tenuous hold on her anger again with Karla being attacked on all sides. "But not to assume she wishes to destroy herself, or that she will never return to Glacia. Those are foolish beliefs, and from what I am hearing you did little to discourage them, Dinah. I can feel your concern, but you are expressing it badly."
Dinah
"I didn't know about him thinking she didn't want to come back here!"
Then Dinah had to turn away, gritting her teeth so she wouldn't cry, because maybe she was? Maybe she was too upset to say things coherently? It happened with Lucivar, and goddamnit, Raven was ignoring her point, but if she wasn't getting her point maybe she wasn't saying it right....
She got up and paced away so no one could see her expression, leaking fear and upset and desperation and frustration and then snapping her shields in place, hard, as she shook.
Raven
Raven felt that blast of emotion before Dinah put her shields up and had to stifle a groan. Her own shields were still shattered, and all the emotion in the room was wreaking havoc on her control. "This is not right," she said. She pointed to Morton. "You are being foolish and need to control your fears because they are making you completely irrational. I will take them from you if you wish."
To Dinah, she added, "I know you had good intentions and I know your love for Karla, but this is not how this situation should have been handled; it has only become more painful and complicated now and is causing a great deal of unneeded distress."
Then to Saetan and Lucivar: "And I will not let either of you do anything to Karla that she does not wish. I will not allow you to lock her away in some cruel attempt to keep her safe. That will destroy her as surely as whatever it is you fear will happen to her in Fandom. At least in Fandom she has a chance to grown and learn. There are dangers there, yes, but after the horrors I have seen and felt in your world, I am certain Fandom is safer until she is ready to return and be Queen."
Karla
"I told you," Karla said, her own voice trembling. But she wasn't yelling now? "There wasn't another way! Not this time. We Healed the people who would have died if we hadn't. Not those who would lose their sight or their limbs or the ability to sire or bear children. Just those who would have died."
Okay, and the children, but, come on. They were children.
"And I paid the price for it, but you can't tell me that the price wasn't worth paying. I will heal. I didn't shatter the Sapphire, trying to bring people back from the brink, I didn't drain myself so far that organs failed and muscles atrophied. I drew a line and Healed right up to that line, but I didn't cross it. But I would have traded their lives for mine if that's what it came to." Karla's voice broke--that was a hard admission to make. That she would have let other die so that she could live and be whole.
Saetan
Saetan was silent for a moment, filling in the blanks left in Karla's explanation. She was saving the lives of others, surely, but there was more to it than that as well. Anything Karla didn't do, Jaenelle would, causing her to put more of a strain on an already overworked body. Karla would have worked herself to the bone to keep Jaenelle from having to channel a drop more of Craft than she'd had to.
Agio had been the perfect trap for all of them, really.
"So, Karla, tell me," Saetan crooned. "Is Dinah wrong then? This whole story she explained to us. Is it a fantasy, then? Has she misrepresented you harshly? You have explained away your reactions in Agio quite well. Do all of your exploits have a similar rationale?"
Karla
Karla just...stopped. She darted looks around the room, dropping her eyes before anyone could meet her gaze. "I...She..." No words came. None, except the truth.
"No."
Morton
Morton deflated slightly. He swallowed and almost said something, then looked at Raven with a mix of anger and fear. She'd just snap at him if he gave voice to his thoughts, and he suspected Karla would back her up.
Which is what really kept him quiet.
Dinah
Dinah's shoulders sagged in relief again, and she surreptitiously wiped at her eyes before turning around. 'I told you' was out of the question. 'Finally' equally so. She'd already said she was sorry for mishandling the situation.
"Thanks," she whispered. Then looked at Prince Saetan and Lucivar with wariness. "What now?"
Saetan
"Now, we decide under what conditions Karla returns to Fandom," Saetan said mildly. "Since Lady Raven seems to be denying us any other option." He glanced over towards Raven with bright, golden eyes.
"Since you've chosen to hold our cooperation hostage, Lady, it's time now to haggle on the price it comes with."
Raven
"And what price is that?" Raven said warily.
Saetan
"Well, that's the question, isn't it?" Saetan asked with bright, false cheer. He didn't appreciate being coerced in his own home, even if he had already come to the same conclusion. "You've made it perfectly clear that you're willing to kidnap my niece if you don't approve of the decision we make. Fine. Karla is going back to Fandom. What are you going to offer to make sure we send her willingly, as opposed to having to snatch her in the night?"
Raven
"It is not kidnapping if it is her wishes I am following," Raven said, too worked up to even consider backing down. "What do you wish me to say? I will watch over her and keep her as safe as I possibly can with my gifts. I will make certain she does not needlessly face danger. I will protect her from the horrors of your world that seek to do her harm."
Lucivar
"Not enough," Lucivar said, folding his arms over his chest. "She's run rings around you this whole time. Besides, there's no guarantee you'll always be there. No one can make that."
He thought for a minute. "Reports. Especially from whatever teacher or teachers she goes to help for," he suggested, proving he wasn't only trying to be difficult. "That's be a start."
Raven
"I do not care if you think it is enough or not," Raven said, shooting a dark glance again at Dinah to thank her for this. "I only care for Karla's well-being. And I will protect it as best I can. If you wish to make demands of our teachers, then you can speak to them yourself. I cannot and will not speak for them."
All the emotion in the room was causing her a great deal of discomfort, but she wasn't about to leave unless it was with Karla.
Morton
Morton's eyes flashed and he leaned forward suddenly. He cocked his head, voice not heating up, but picking up a challenging note. "Are you saying that the only thing Karla needs to be safe is your presence?" That was supposed to be enough?
His tone made it pretty clear that he thought the idea was ludicrous. And that he thought Raven should find that just as obvious as he did.
Raven
"She is certainly not safe in yours!" Raven snarled, whirling on Morton. Without her shields, her tenuous hold on her emotional control was dangerously close to snapping. Between wanting to protect Karla and seeing her humiliated like this, she couldn't rein her anger in. "What we just experience was proof of that. And between what I have seen here and in Briarwood, I know Karla is safer in Fandom than here. In Fandom she will not be broken."
Morton
"No, she'll just slowly drive herself mad, or she'll die doing something suicidally dangerous. That's a much better solution!" Who did Raven think she was, deciding what was best for Karla? He was her First Escort, by the Darkness! This was his job!
And had nothing to do with wounded pride, or somewhat irrational fear.
Nope.
Raven
Mmm, Pride. Raven could feel the pull of it, tempting her to play with it, and she only barely managed to stop herself. It was bad enough that she had had to stand here and witness these men and their attempts to humiliate Karla, and her own wounded pride at not having realized what was going on. "She will not do so if she is with me," she said instead. "I would not allow it."
Her head snapped around to look at Dinah again. "These incidents that you have been speaking of. Was I there for any of them?"
Dinah
Don't pull me into this, Dinah wanted to say. At the same time she wanted to say, Please, please, calm down, guys. She's going to Fandom! Just figure it out! Why are you fighting over these details? Or fighting over Karla? They were supposed to be on the same side!
She rubbed her head, trying to think, wondering if Raven realized that now Dinah had to give a fuller accounting of what she'd known, and guessed, that she'd been trying to avoid. Mostly for Karla's sake. "That I know of--" So important to give that qualification, as she'd learned with Lucivar earlier. "Um. She really exhausted herself back in May, helping out friends in their own worlds twice in the same week. Healing, mostly. I don't think you were there? Mat's world, and Sookie's?" Karla had told Dinah about that when Dinah had been on the Senior Trip. "August, she got stabbed by a giant scorpion, got mostly better, and I ran into her when she went out patrolling without back-up 24 hours later when she wasn't fully rested. I don't think she told anyone else. Then went to help Sookie again three days later, and got stabbed. You were there for that." She sighed. "And now. Which has been post-mortemed to a second death."
She seriously wondered if the Warlord Princes in the room knew about Karla's little mental jaunt to Briarwood and Glacia last October, courtesy of Jaenelle's nightmares. And if they knew about her friends going into her mind and pulling her out. If they didn't, though, it wasn't something she was going to bring up now. One more migraine-inducing fight they didn't need.
Raven
You started this Raven would've surely answered if Dinah had voiced that thought. There was no pulling Dinah in; she was already there.
"Then prior to this I was only there for one incident," Raven said. "Where I healed Karla and saved her from injuries that were beyond her control. The others I was not there to monitor her health. I know now to watch her more closely." Karla would have an empath glued to her when they got back to Fandom. "I am not a warrior, but I can and will stop her from overexerting herself or restore her health if she comes to any harm."
Her eyes were glowing red again when she turned back to Morton. "Do not doubt what I can do." She wasn't going to let an insignificant mortal attack her Pride.
MortonMorton looked at Raven for a moment. He began to say something, then paused, and glanced to Karla.
What did she think of this series of declarations? This new girl was one of hers, after all. She'd said so.
And hopefully enough of their cousin-ly bond remained that Karla could pick all that up from his glance...
Karla
Karla didn't even need the glance to realize this was spinning rapidly out of control, though it was helpful to prod her out of her almost slack-jawed stare of confusion and horror. She sent him a quick brush of gratitude on a psychic thread, intermingled with a bit of love and concern, too.
"Enough!" she said, her voice a whipcrack through the room. "Enough before we all lose control."
Saetan
Darkness knew that the tempers spiraling through the room were pushing Saetan towards the killing edge as well. But it wasn't just that. No, not at all.
"And just what do you know of Briarwood?" Saetan asked in a bored, almost sleepy voice.
Lucivar
Lucivar eased into a fighting stance, placing himself between Saetan's desk and everyone else in the room. He knew that languorous croon, had heard it enough times coming from the Sadist's mouth to think that Saetan would be any different. If he slipped past the killing edge now...
Karla
Hell's fire, Mother Night, and may the Darkness be merciful. This was going so not well. She was going to have to have a long talk with Raven when they got back about 'Topics We Don't Spring on the High Lord.'
Of course, how was Raven supposed to know about that. It wasn't like Karla had ever fully explained. Just like Dinah couldn't have known that this was the kind of reaction she would get by talking to a pair of concerned Warlord Princes and a frightened Warlord. She'd just expected them to keep her secrets and their silence without ever explaining why...
Okay, plenty of time for self-flagellation later. First she needed to handle this mess.
"High Lord," she said, stepping forward and sticking to Protocol. Lucivar was trying to shield them, yes, but his actions could also be read as a challenge, a male of almost equal strength stepping forward. Karla wasn't. She was young, female, a Queen, nowhere near his equal in power. Not a target, not a challenge. Not his Queen, but one with a claim on his affections. "Last October, I came to visit. Jaenelle had just returned from her first trip to Little Terreille. You asked me to go up and see her, because she had locked herself away and would not come down. Do you remember."
Saetan
"I remember," Saetan replied, his golden eyes firmly locked on Raven's bright red ones.
Karla
"I helped her, that day." Karla kept her voice steady, tried to keep her mind focused on the task at hand. Even now, remembering that day made her hands shake. "She couldn't articulate what was wrong, not while she was awake. But then, when she fell asleep, the dreams came. She talks in her sleep, High Lord. She talks about Briarwood. Her sleeping mind is trying to process the memories her waking mind can't handle; memories that are stirred up to the surface in Little Terreille."
Lucivar
"I mentioned these dreams," Lucivar reminded his father. "When I woke up from the Healing web in the cabin. That was how I learned of what really happened in Briarwood."
As much as he wanted to throttle Karla right now--and her friends--he had to admire the balls it took to have her step up and make herself the target for Saetan's simmering wrath instead of his. So if he could back her up--in this instance, anyway--he would.
Karla
"I went a step futher than simply listening though," Karla said and now she was beginning to shake. "I took them. Her memories. Drew them into myself, so they wouldn't haunt her anymore. Not the real ones, they were locked down too far, where I couldn't reach them. But the echoes and fragments that Little Terreille had stirred up. I took them and walled them away in my mind for a few days, but they were too strong. They overwhelmed me. I returned to Fandom and...I got lost within them."
Raven
Raven didn't flinch from Saetan's gaze. But she did quietly move behind Karla, touching a hand to her back as she spoke, sending her a soothing pulse of comfort and courage. She remembered what they'd seen in Briarwood, and she wished she could take the memory completely from Karla's mind like Karla had tried to take them from Jaenelle.
Karla
Karla reached back to catch Raven's hands, wishing she had enough positive emotions to send back right now. They all needed calming, and talking about Briarwood wasn't the best way to do it.
"I didn't know who or where I was," she continued, keeping the explanation as short as she could. "I was filled with cold fury, and attacked one of my teachers. And then I fell into the Twisted Kingdom. Not far, but far enough that I couldn't find my way back again."
Morton
Morton hissed softly, eyes widening. The Twisted Kingdom? She hadn't thought it was worth mentioning a little adventure there?
Dinah
Dinah's first reaction as Lucivar moved to block Saetan had been: oh, we are so screwed. Damnit, Raven. Then to realize Raven had made the same mistake she had, of treating these guys like you'd expect normal authority figures to react; and not knowing what to keep secret, and what not. She missed Barbara. Principal Winchester. Ghanima. So much.
Lucivar was, thank God, covering Saetan; Morton was getting calmer.... Dinah saw Raven's eyes and really realized what that meant now, and gulped. How to get her calmer, how not to draw attention-- oh, who cared if they'd seen?
She kept her attention on Raven, and concentrated on sending as much love and calm as she could toward her. As many memories of taking care of Raven, as Raven was trying to take care of Karla. And hey, how much she loved Karla too, not the way Raven did. Maybe it would help, a little.
Karla
"And my friends helped me," Karla said, ignoring Morton's indrawn breath, Lucivar's slight flinch, everything but the male in front of her. "They entered my mental landscape and followed where I had gone. They went to Briarwood, met Rose and Marjane and Dannie, saw the tree and the 'toybox' and the cells with the manacles. The braved the horrors of that place and then they got me out. So, yes, I know what happened to Jaenelle there. They know what happened to Jaenelle there. But they--my friends--they've proven time and time again that they will come for me. They'll find me and help me and do what they can to make sure I'm all right. Dinah, Raven, Emma. Ben and Ender, too. They're not Blood, they don't know Protocol...but they care about me. Enough to face Hell and the fracturing mind of a Black Widow to make sure I'm safe."
She turned to Morton, holding out her hands in supplication. "This isn't a contest about who loves me more or who I love. My friends there can never make me forget who or what I am. They can never make me doubt my place or my future. But they can help me grow into the Queen you want me to be. I'm stubborn and foolish and often wrong-headed and I make stupid, colossal mistake, but that doesn't mean I want anything other than to graduate from Fandom and come home to Glacia. Kaeleer is my home. That will never, ever change."
Morton
And apparently that was all Morton needed to hear. The tension in his shoulders bled away. He flashed his cousin a quick smile.
Well, the tension Karla had put there did. The tension from Saetan's too-smooth voice? Yeah, still there.
Raven
Raven's tension was easing as Karla became calmer, then Morton, and Dinah tried to offset the negative emotion with positive. But it was still churning inside her instead of dispersing as it usually did. She barely paid it any notice, though, still focused on Saetan and Lucivar, waiting to see what they would say next.
Saetan
Saetan closed his eyes and exhaled a long, shuddery sigh as he consciously backed away from the edge, step by careful mental step. "For a year, Karla," he whispered. "For a year, you've been carrying that around and yet you didn't say--?"
Darkness. No wondered she felt she couldn't give up if Jaenelle didn't. Knowing, to that exquisite degree, just what Jaenelle had gone through, carrying those memories...
Karla
Karla shrugged, all awkwardness and uncertainty. "I did what I had to do. I served my Queen and my friends called me back. I just--dealt."
Go forward, never let them know you're not at your best. Also show strength where they expect weakness, steel where they expect soft. Give them nothing to use against you, never doubt, never waver, never flinch. Never show your true self to those in charge.
Hard lessons, learned in her uncle's Court. Lessons that had risen up and bitten her at Fandom.
Dinah
Dinah sighed in relief as Prince Saetan seemed to calm down, then sent Karla a sad look as she answered him. Seriously, what could you say to that? No matter how many times she'd told Karla she didn't have to deal alone, it never seemed like Karla really believed it, down to her bones.
"None of us regret that," Dinah said aloud. Facing Saetan, but speaking to Karla. "Not one of us. We'd do it again. Hard as it was." And more love toward Raven, who had been there too. And maybe it was good she'd brought this up now, angrily and clumsily as she had. "Karla didn't ask us. We volunteered." Her lips twitched upward. "Why do you think so many of them plan on being here when she becomes Queen? We know what she'll have to deal with. We want to be there."
Lucivar
"Right. We just have to make sure Karla doesn't do anything stupid before she gets there," Lucivar said, tactful as always. He took another drink of his whisky as he turned to face Karla; facing down his father was a scary proposition. "Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm starting to think we're going around in circles. So, progress reports when you go back to school. Honesty, when nasty things happen and you get yourself hurt. Raven's already promised to keep you from doing the stupidly noble things you're going to try to do anyway. I've already had a talk with a few of your males out there, though I may add one or two more things after this little chat. Anything else?"
Karla"I've already agreed to an escort to and from every portal," Karla said, trying to swallow her reluctance. "Since cell phones work in Kaeleer, setting one up shouldn't be too difficult, even on unexpected visits."
She winced a little and added, "Cell phones for the family, too, probably. So Morton's not the only one with an off-world connection."
Thank the Darkness that the necessity of keeping such things charged would keep the phones for emergency contacts. Because the idea of Khary learning the meaning of 'drunk-dialing' or something...
Lucivar
Lucivar nodded and his smile wasn't one meant to reassure her on that last idea one bit. "I think the Hall would benefit from having a few of these 'cell phones,' yes."
He looked at Saetan and Morton. "That sound reasonable to you?"
Morton
Morton was looking at Karla. Hard. Trying to evaluate her condition. Not just from the past few days, but... overall.
He took a deep breath, then slowly let it out.
"Yes."
He closed his eyes, hoping he wouldn't regret that answer. But... he thought Karla meant it. That she'd be more honest with them now. That was all he asked.
Saetan
Saetan sighed and, for a moment, he looked rather old again. Finding the daughter of his soul hadn't prepared him for a horde of teenagers descending on the Hall. And he most certainly hadn't expected to come to love them all, too. This situation with Karla would take a lot of brooding consideration in the coming nights.
"I will also be writing to several of your teachers and your headmistress," he said, looking back up at the room. "I am going to lay out the whole story as I know it and see if they have any suggestions. I can write them while we wait for the portal."
Karla
Karla stood with her head bowed. "I'm...sorry," she said, haltingly. "For not being honest. For causing you all pain. For putting myself at risk. I swear, I try to do what's right...but sometimes I get confused. And what's right isn't always what's best. I'm sorry."
She loathed apologies, she really did. But she knew when one was due. Like right now.
Morton
That was apparently enough for Morton. He strode toward Karla, arms open for a hug. "I love you, cousin," he said softly, forgiving her. "I just want you to be safe. So... please... remember that I'm not the only one? We all love you."
Karla
"I love you all, too," Karla said, into his chest. "There's no way I would never come home. Because this is home. And I'll try. I'll try to do better."
[And we're....done? I think? OMG, I think we are! NFI, NFB, OOC would be awesome, and post mater list is still here. Thank so, so much to everyone who read, and thanks even more to everyone who helped out. (There will be a real thank you post in a few, but I wanted to say it again).]
Raven"Because she is protected there, and she is loved," Raven said, her voice still tight with emotion. A threat to Karla brought out the worst in her. "And she is learning to protect both herself and others. If you attempt to isolate her, you will only put her in danger and hurt her by depriving her of the support of her friends. You will weaken her, and you will turn her love into resentment and bitterness."
Lucivar
"Better than getting sacrificed," Lucivar muttered. "Least from where I'm standing. Better that than her ending up broken, because she pushed herself too far. Again."
Karla
"Right, because I'm the picture of health now," Karla snapped. "After my week-long stay in Kaeleer, I'm practically glowing."
Saetan"Precisely," Saetan countered. "This is was what you get into here. And there? With not a male or anyone to watch out for you? You need help, Karla! Dinah said so and nothing I've seen makes think otherwise. You need a Black Widow to talk to, to get past things. We can get you more help here, with people who understand who and what you are."
Hopefully someone who would have a better idea than they did.
Lucivar"And Dinah said there are few enough people on the island who can help you," Lucivar added. "It'd be better for you here."
Morton"Karla, if I'm as crazy as I am after I was able to help you, what do you think I'm going to be like when I'm worried about you getting sacrificed!" Morton's voice rose steadily through his little tirade until he was almost--but not quite--yelling.
DinahYeah, Dinah wasn't all that thrilled about all the 'Dinah said' there, even if it was what she'd said and all true. There had to be a middle road here.
She'd set this off. Time to start the ending.
"If she were honest about what's been happening, and what will happen in the future. And got help on the Island." She spoke to Saetan. Then looked at Lucivar. "If she didn't get hurt for a certain amount of time. And didn't disappear on people again." Then to Morton, voice softening. "If she promised, seriously, to not scare the life out of you again." She took a breath. "Could we avoid the inevitable break-out from whatever gulag you put her in? Raven will do it. Ben will do it. It'll happen. Hell, I'll help too."
KarlaDon't sound so enthusiastic about helping her escape, Dinah.
"The first time something really, really awful happened at Fandom, I came to you," she said to Saetan, quietly. "You wanted to keep me here. How can I be honest knowing that any time, one of you might decide that it's in my best interest to be dragged home?" she asked, sweeping her gaze at the three males.
Morton"There's dangerous situations, and then there's going out of your way to find it!" Morton had surged out of his chair and was stalking toward Karla. "What do you think you're doing?"
Karla"I'm saving people's lives!" Karla cried out. "I'm doing what I could never do in Glacia! I'm protecting those who need it! For once, I'm actually making a difference!"
Hello Dinah's point. How are you?
SaetanSaetan blinked once, twice, three times. "Karla," he said softly. "Is that why you're doing these things? To make up for what you can't do here?"
Finally, something that made sense. Karla was a Healer, a Black Widow, a Queen. She needed to protect those she felt responsible for. But she couldn’t. Not in Glacia. Not yet. She was cut off and adrift in another world, and kept flinging herself into danger, trying to save and help the people there because she couldn’t do a thing to save and help the people here, except wait. Which was hardly in Karla's temperament even on a good day.
KarlaKarla's mouth opened but nothing came out. She darted a guilty glance Dinah's way, the first non-angry look to be cast Dinah's way from her since she'd entered the study.
"Yes," she admitted. "If I can save someone, anyone, it makes being exiled from Glacia that much easier to bear."
DinahDinah rubbed her face, and looked over at Lucivar, then Morton. At least it wasn't just her word now.
"That's a start. On the honesty thing." She took a breath. God, where to go from here. "Do you get why we're so scared for you? Two months, Karla." She met Karla's eyes for the first time now since she'd walked in. "Our deal was 'til Winsol." She looked over at Prince Saetan. "What would it take, to make you okay with her leaving here?"
MortonMorton looked down at his feet. Then he looked up and opened his mouth. Then he closed it and stared at his feet for another second. Then he spoke without looking up again, his voice soft. Small.
"She has to promise to come back."
KarlaHello Karla's flabbergasted face. You're getting quite the workout today.
"Why wouldn't I come back?" she asked. "Glacia is my home. You're the only blood family I have left. This is where I belong. What makes you think I would ever leave for good?"
Raven"Of course she will come back," Raven said incredulously, a tiny bit more in control now. "She speaks of Glacia often, and what it would mean to be Queen. She has invited people to join her Court when she returns. She has no intention of never returning. Is that what you are so afraid of? I can feel your fear, and if that is the reason, it is entirely unfounded."
Morton"She's trying to kill herself," Morton said softly. "That suggests she doesn't want to come back." Didn't want to survive that long.
Karla"I am not!" Karla protested angrily. "I'm not trying to break myself and I certainly don't want to die! I have every reason to live!"
It was only by strength of will she didn't tag a 'you idiot!' on top of that for good measure.
Lucivar
"Well, that's kind of what it's looking like from here," Lucivar said sardonically. "Maybe you just hadn't looked in the mirror today."
Harsh, he knew. But, dammit, more than angry, more than disappointed, Lucivar was scared. He'd had barely a year in Kaeleer, barely a year to get to know some of the best Queens he'd ever met in his life. He wasn't going to just lose one because of...of whatever was going on in her head.
Saetan"Lucivar, enough," Saetan said, voice sharp. "She isn't suicidal. This isn't about wanting death or wanting to stay away from Glacia."
He called in more whiskey, since Lucivar didn't appear to be sharing. It would give him a wicked headache later, but it wasn't like he didn't have one now.
"This is about control and the only way Karla feels like she has any," he said quietly. "By throwing herself into these situations, by running herself into the ground time and time again, she's doing what she could not in Glacia. She's saving people, as she said. She's practicing her Craft openly, and without fear. She's keeping control of her body, for all that she's abusing it."
Which meant they couldn't keep her from Fandom. If they removed all choice from her, bundled her up against her will and tucked her away somewhere, how much worse would it get for her to assert control over her life and her person? He'd already failed her once with this. He would not fail her again.
Dinah"Thank you." Dinah had to sit down, she was so relieved. Finally. They got it. Whew. She sent Prince Saetan a deeply grateful look, then had to quirk a small grin at Lucivar, since, well. She'd been thinking something similar about the way Karla looked. "That. Yes."
She bit her lip, then turned to Karla. "I asked you, before. What to do about someone acting like you. Got any better answers now?" And maybe put the seal on the deal to be allowed to go back to Fandom.
KarlaKarla bit back a really snarky answer along the lines of 'don't tell my friends about it.' Not only was it mean and not at all helpful, it was untrue. Dinah was trying to help her. Karla could admit this was unhealthy behavior, that she was unhealthy.
Still, it...galled.
"No," she said, staring at her feet, the words tumbling out before she could stop them. "Sorry I didn't come up with anything better in the twenty minutes between when we talked and when I came down here to be yelled at and banned from Fandom."
Excellent, Karla. That was very mature.
Lucivar
"Karla, you're acting like a spoiled aristo bitch right now," Lucivar said calmly. "I'm going to offer you a choice. You can either stop it, or I can haul you out to the practice field and work it out of you. In your present condition, I doubt it'll take all that long."
RavenRaven touched her hand to Karla's back, rubbing it gently. "Be calm, Karla," she murmured, sending her a soothing pulse of comfort, though she gave Lucivar a dark look, almost challenging him. "You will return to Fandom. I will make certain of it. It is better that they agree so they do not seek to force you to return, but it will be your choice where you go."
She looked to each of the men in turn. "And you are all wrong. She is not going to kill herself. I would not allow it, nor will any of the many friends who protect her." Raven was definitely going to keep a closer eye on Karla after this, and when she was cursing herself for not recognizing how self-destructive Karla had been acting. Mmm, irony. "And since you are so concerned about males guarding her safety as well, then you should know there is no shortage of them as well in Fandom. You have seen some of them here -- Jono, Ben, Bobby, Warren, Ender -- and there is also Professor Skywalker and Professor Maximus. Professor Skywalker is the wisest and strongest man I know, and he would defeat any who sought to harm one of his students."
Raven was an efficient multitasker. She could even fangirl at a time like this.
MortonMorton didn't look convinced. At all.
"If you're all such good guardians," he said softly, "then why has it come to this?" Clearly they weren't doing a very good job!
Dinah"Because we're not Blood. Maybe." Dinah sighed, leaning back into the sofa, looking over at Karla with a remorseful expression. There had been more wincing at Karla's reaction there. That level of anger and betrayal wasn't going to go away soon, no. "We don't get your world, or how Queens act, or shouldn't act, the way someone who is would. So it took a while to figure out." And that was half a public apology for starting this without thinking to warn Karla that she was going to talk to Warlord Princes about this. All she'd wanted for Karla was help; instead, they'd gotten Panic and Demands and Yelling. Of course, if Karla hadn't been lying so much, that might have been avoided too.
"But Raven's right, Professor Skywalker's a good guy, from all accounts, and he's dealt with a lot of different species. And Professor Atreides is awesome, and she helped me with my telepathic shielding. There aren't a *lot* of teachers who can help, maybe. But they won't turn her away, if she asks." If.
Saetan"I'm certain that if Karla returns to school, there will be no questions about her asking for help," Saetan said with a mildness that could almost masquerade the fact that he was steely determined on that fact.
While he had made up his mind that Karla couldn't be kept from school, it certainly didn't mean that he had to say that yet. Not before there were a few concessions made from a certain blonde, less-than-truthful witch, there.
"I suppose I cannot demand why they haven't noticed anything amiss, either. Not if Karla's as good at lying to them as she is to her family."
KarlaKarla winced every time someone emphasized her distinct lack honesty throughout this whole thing. And since Saetan had neatly cut off her "I never said I wasn't in danger" excuse at the knees, she went from having a pitifully weak excuse to having none at all.
"It...I didn't intend...I didn't mean to lie, exactly," Karla said, miserably. "I just didn't want...I didn't want this. I didn't want you to take me away from Fandom for my 'own good.' I didn't want you judging my friends and finding them wanting."
MortonMorton could understand that. Sort of. He didn't have the kind of friends Karla did, after all.
But, still.
"Karla... how close have you come to dying out there?" His voice was still soft, more worried than angry now.
Karla"Once," Karla admitted quietly, "I came very close. Raven saved me and if she hadn't been there, I would have died."
There. Have some honesty. Hope you enjoyed it, really.
"I have never come that close to dying any other time. It's not that I'm getting hurt with any real regularity, it's more..." she paused, trying to figure out how to explain. "...I keep feeling like as long as I have something left to give, I haven't given enough. I run myself into the ground sometimes because then, at least, I know I've done my best. I can do things that no one else on the island can," she whispered. "I can't just...back down and hide away from dangerous situations. If people need my help, I can't turn them away. Not won't. Can't."
Raven
Raven refused to admit that behavior in herself, which was probably why she hadn't recognized it in Karla. "I did heal her," she said. "As I always will should Karla ever come to harm. And there are none here who could do the same for her as well as I can." Except maybe Jaenelle.
Dinah
"You may not have come close to dying this time, Karla. But it's way sicker than any of us want to see you." Dinah rubbed at her eyes, then looked over at Raven. "You know I'm not saying you're bad at looking out for her, Raven, right? I know you always will. You just-- it shouldn't have to be something you do." For so many, many reasons.
Raven
"I am to be her Court Healer, Dinah," Raven said quietly, managing to not snap the words. "It is something I must do." Though that wasn't exactly the only reason.
Morton
Morton blinked a bit owlishly.
"What?" No one had told him about this!
Dinah
Karla still wasn't exactly sure whose side Dinah was on. "I ask you again, Dinah, what exactly was my alternative?" she growled. "Let more people die? Let Jaenelle take on even more of the Healing load? We ran out of food and water, because no one was planning on getting trapped in a siege with five hundred people! Sort of an extenuating circumstance, I think!"
Just ride that wave of self-injury, Karla.
And then she whirled on Morton. "That's right. I'm planning on offering Raven a contract just as soon as I can. Because I have every intention of coming back home to be Queen of Glacia!"
Dinah
That was news to Dinah, although not bad news. She brightened at Raven's claim. "Really? Oh, cool."
Karla snapping at Morton was really the last thing to make her stop feeling guilty about this, though. "Damnit Karla. Don't take this out on him! Do you know how much I don't like watching your cousin-escort-goddamn-champion nearly cry because he thought he let you down? Because he couldn't keep you safe when you didn't let him know where you were? Be mad at me all you want for messing up how this got handled, but stop acting like he should know better when you scared the living Hell out of him." She took a deeper breath and glowered.
"And don't pretend you don't know what I wanted you to do, what the sane thing to do was, either. I didn't tell you that you shouldn't have helped them. Or Raven. But *both* of you risk yourselves-- Yes you did, Raven, you would've stopped to heal every kid on the way into Agio, and I love you for it, but it was goddamn reckless." Dinah was shaking. "Ben had to force you to eat, force you to rest, force you to think. You. Need. Help. And yes, I think it should be Fandom." She took a breath. "But it's your decision." More bleakly, "It's always your decision. No one can stop you from doing anything, can they?"
Raven
"He is entitled to care and be upset," Raven said, starting to lose the tenuous hold on her anger again with Karla being attacked on all sides. "But not to assume she wishes to destroy herself, or that she will never return to Glacia. Those are foolish beliefs, and from what I am hearing you did little to discourage them, Dinah. I can feel your concern, but you are expressing it badly."
Dinah
"I didn't know about him thinking she didn't want to come back here!"
Then Dinah had to turn away, gritting her teeth so she wouldn't cry, because maybe she was? Maybe she was too upset to say things coherently? It happened with Lucivar, and goddamnit, Raven was ignoring her point, but if she wasn't getting her point maybe she wasn't saying it right....
She got up and paced away so no one could see her expression, leaking fear and upset and desperation and frustration and then snapping her shields in place, hard, as she shook.
Raven
Raven felt that blast of emotion before Dinah put her shields up and had to stifle a groan. Her own shields were still shattered, and all the emotion in the room was wreaking havoc on her control. "This is not right," she said. She pointed to Morton. "You are being foolish and need to control your fears because they are making you completely irrational. I will take them from you if you wish."
To Dinah, she added, "I know you had good intentions and I know your love for Karla, but this is not how this situation should have been handled; it has only become more painful and complicated now and is causing a great deal of unneeded distress."
Then to Saetan and Lucivar: "And I will not let either of you do anything to Karla that she does not wish. I will not allow you to lock her away in some cruel attempt to keep her safe. That will destroy her as surely as whatever it is you fear will happen to her in Fandom. At least in Fandom she has a chance to grown and learn. There are dangers there, yes, but after the horrors I have seen and felt in your world, I am certain Fandom is safer until she is ready to return and be Queen."
Karla
"I told you," Karla said, her own voice trembling. But she wasn't yelling now? "There wasn't another way! Not this time. We Healed the people who would have died if we hadn't. Not those who would lose their sight or their limbs or the ability to sire or bear children. Just those who would have died."
Okay, and the children, but, come on. They were children.
"And I paid the price for it, but you can't tell me that the price wasn't worth paying. I will heal. I didn't shatter the Sapphire, trying to bring people back from the brink, I didn't drain myself so far that organs failed and muscles atrophied. I drew a line and Healed right up to that line, but I didn't cross it. But I would have traded their lives for mine if that's what it came to." Karla's voice broke--that was a hard admission to make. That she would have let other die so that she could live and be whole.
Saetan
Saetan was silent for a moment, filling in the blanks left in Karla's explanation. She was saving the lives of others, surely, but there was more to it than that as well. Anything Karla didn't do, Jaenelle would, causing her to put more of a strain on an already overworked body. Karla would have worked herself to the bone to keep Jaenelle from having to channel a drop more of Craft than she'd had to.
Agio had been the perfect trap for all of them, really.
"So, Karla, tell me," Saetan crooned. "Is Dinah wrong then? This whole story she explained to us. Is it a fantasy, then? Has she misrepresented you harshly? You have explained away your reactions in Agio quite well. Do all of your exploits have a similar rationale?"
Karla
Karla just...stopped. She darted looks around the room, dropping her eyes before anyone could meet her gaze. "I...She..." No words came. None, except the truth.
"No."
Morton
Morton deflated slightly. He swallowed and almost said something, then looked at Raven with a mix of anger and fear. She'd just snap at him if he gave voice to his thoughts, and he suspected Karla would back her up.
Which is what really kept him quiet.
Dinah
Dinah's shoulders sagged in relief again, and she surreptitiously wiped at her eyes before turning around. 'I told you' was out of the question. 'Finally' equally so. She'd already said she was sorry for mishandling the situation.
"Thanks," she whispered. Then looked at Prince Saetan and Lucivar with wariness. "What now?"
Saetan
"Now, we decide under what conditions Karla returns to Fandom," Saetan said mildly. "Since Lady Raven seems to be denying us any other option." He glanced over towards Raven with bright, golden eyes.
"Since you've chosen to hold our cooperation hostage, Lady, it's time now to haggle on the price it comes with."
Raven
"And what price is that?" Raven said warily.
Saetan
"Well, that's the question, isn't it?" Saetan asked with bright, false cheer. He didn't appreciate being coerced in his own home, even if he had already come to the same conclusion. "You've made it perfectly clear that you're willing to kidnap my niece if you don't approve of the decision we make. Fine. Karla is going back to Fandom. What are you going to offer to make sure we send her willingly, as opposed to having to snatch her in the night?"
Raven
"It is not kidnapping if it is her wishes I am following," Raven said, too worked up to even consider backing down. "What do you wish me to say? I will watch over her and keep her as safe as I possibly can with my gifts. I will make certain she does not needlessly face danger. I will protect her from the horrors of your world that seek to do her harm."
Lucivar
"Not enough," Lucivar said, folding his arms over his chest. "She's run rings around you this whole time. Besides, there's no guarantee you'll always be there. No one can make that."
He thought for a minute. "Reports. Especially from whatever teacher or teachers she goes to help for," he suggested, proving he wasn't only trying to be difficult. "That's be a start."
Raven
"I do not care if you think it is enough or not," Raven said, shooting a dark glance again at Dinah to thank her for this. "I only care for Karla's well-being. And I will protect it as best I can. If you wish to make demands of our teachers, then you can speak to them yourself. I cannot and will not speak for them."
All the emotion in the room was causing her a great deal of discomfort, but she wasn't about to leave unless it was with Karla.
Morton
Morton's eyes flashed and he leaned forward suddenly. He cocked his head, voice not heating up, but picking up a challenging note. "Are you saying that the only thing Karla needs to be safe is your presence?" That was supposed to be enough?
His tone made it pretty clear that he thought the idea was ludicrous. And that he thought Raven should find that just as obvious as he did.
Raven
"She is certainly not safe in yours!" Raven snarled, whirling on Morton. Without her shields, her tenuous hold on her emotional control was dangerously close to snapping. Between wanting to protect Karla and seeing her humiliated like this, she couldn't rein her anger in. "What we just experience was proof of that. And between what I have seen here and in Briarwood, I know Karla is safer in Fandom than here. In Fandom she will not be broken."
Morton
"No, she'll just slowly drive herself mad, or she'll die doing something suicidally dangerous. That's a much better solution!" Who did Raven think she was, deciding what was best for Karla? He was her First Escort, by the Darkness! This was his job!
And had nothing to do with wounded pride, or somewhat irrational fear.
Nope.
Raven
Mmm, Pride. Raven could feel the pull of it, tempting her to play with it, and she only barely managed to stop herself. It was bad enough that she had had to stand here and witness these men and their attempts to humiliate Karla, and her own wounded pride at not having realized what was going on. "She will not do so if she is with me," she said instead. "I would not allow it."
Her head snapped around to look at Dinah again. "These incidents that you have been speaking of. Was I there for any of them?"
Dinah
Don't pull me into this, Dinah wanted to say. At the same time she wanted to say, Please, please, calm down, guys. She's going to Fandom! Just figure it out! Why are you fighting over these details? Or fighting over Karla? They were supposed to be on the same side!
She rubbed her head, trying to think, wondering if Raven realized that now Dinah had to give a fuller accounting of what she'd known, and guessed, that she'd been trying to avoid. Mostly for Karla's sake. "That I know of--" So important to give that qualification, as she'd learned with Lucivar earlier. "Um. She really exhausted herself back in May, helping out friends in their own worlds twice in the same week. Healing, mostly. I don't think you were there? Mat's world, and Sookie's?" Karla had told Dinah about that when Dinah had been on the Senior Trip. "August, she got stabbed by a giant scorpion, got mostly better, and I ran into her when she went out patrolling without back-up 24 hours later when she wasn't fully rested. I don't think she told anyone else. Then went to help Sookie again three days later, and got stabbed. You were there for that." She sighed. "And now. Which has been post-mortemed to a second death."
She seriously wondered if the Warlord Princes in the room knew about Karla's little mental jaunt to Briarwood and Glacia last October, courtesy of Jaenelle's nightmares. And if they knew about her friends going into her mind and pulling her out. If they didn't, though, it wasn't something she was going to bring up now. One more migraine-inducing fight they didn't need.
Raven
You started this Raven would've surely answered if Dinah had voiced that thought. There was no pulling Dinah in; she was already there.
"Then prior to this I was only there for one incident," Raven said. "Where I healed Karla and saved her from injuries that were beyond her control. The others I was not there to monitor her health. I know now to watch her more closely." Karla would have an empath glued to her when they got back to Fandom. "I am not a warrior, but I can and will stop her from overexerting herself or restore her health if she comes to any harm."
Her eyes were glowing red again when she turned back to Morton. "Do not doubt what I can do." She wasn't going to let an insignificant mortal attack her Pride.
MortonMorton looked at Raven for a moment. He began to say something, then paused, and glanced to Karla.
What did she think of this series of declarations? This new girl was one of hers, after all. She'd said so.
And hopefully enough of their cousin-ly bond remained that Karla could pick all that up from his glance...
Karla
Karla didn't even need the glance to realize this was spinning rapidly out of control, though it was helpful to prod her out of her almost slack-jawed stare of confusion and horror. She sent him a quick brush of gratitude on a psychic thread, intermingled with a bit of love and concern, too.
"Enough!" she said, her voice a whipcrack through the room. "Enough before we all lose control."
Saetan
Darkness knew that the tempers spiraling through the room were pushing Saetan towards the killing edge as well. But it wasn't just that. No, not at all.
"And just what do you know of Briarwood?" Saetan asked in a bored, almost sleepy voice.
Lucivar
Lucivar eased into a fighting stance, placing himself between Saetan's desk and everyone else in the room. He knew that languorous croon, had heard it enough times coming from the Sadist's mouth to think that Saetan would be any different. If he slipped past the killing edge now...
Karla
Hell's fire, Mother Night, and may the Darkness be merciful. This was going so not well. She was going to have to have a long talk with Raven when they got back about 'Topics We Don't Spring on the High Lord.'
Of course, how was Raven supposed to know about that. It wasn't like Karla had ever fully explained. Just like Dinah couldn't have known that this was the kind of reaction she would get by talking to a pair of concerned Warlord Princes and a frightened Warlord. She'd just expected them to keep her secrets and their silence without ever explaining why...
Okay, plenty of time for self-flagellation later. First she needed to handle this mess.
"High Lord," she said, stepping forward and sticking to Protocol. Lucivar was trying to shield them, yes, but his actions could also be read as a challenge, a male of almost equal strength stepping forward. Karla wasn't. She was young, female, a Queen, nowhere near his equal in power. Not a target, not a challenge. Not his Queen, but one with a claim on his affections. "Last October, I came to visit. Jaenelle had just returned from her first trip to Little Terreille. You asked me to go up and see her, because she had locked herself away and would not come down. Do you remember."
Saetan
"I remember," Saetan replied, his golden eyes firmly locked on Raven's bright red ones.
Karla
"I helped her, that day." Karla kept her voice steady, tried to keep her mind focused on the task at hand. Even now, remembering that day made her hands shake. "She couldn't articulate what was wrong, not while she was awake. But then, when she fell asleep, the dreams came. She talks in her sleep, High Lord. She talks about Briarwood. Her sleeping mind is trying to process the memories her waking mind can't handle; memories that are stirred up to the surface in Little Terreille."
Lucivar
"I mentioned these dreams," Lucivar reminded his father. "When I woke up from the Healing web in the cabin. That was how I learned of what really happened in Briarwood."
As much as he wanted to throttle Karla right now--and her friends--he had to admire the balls it took to have her step up and make herself the target for Saetan's simmering wrath instead of his. So if he could back her up--in this instance, anyway--he would.
Karla
"I went a step futher than simply listening though," Karla said and now she was beginning to shake. "I took them. Her memories. Drew them into myself, so they wouldn't haunt her anymore. Not the real ones, they were locked down too far, where I couldn't reach them. But the echoes and fragments that Little Terreille had stirred up. I took them and walled them away in my mind for a few days, but they were too strong. They overwhelmed me. I returned to Fandom and...I got lost within them."
Raven
Raven didn't flinch from Saetan's gaze. But she did quietly move behind Karla, touching a hand to her back as she spoke, sending her a soothing pulse of comfort and courage. She remembered what they'd seen in Briarwood, and she wished she could take the memory completely from Karla's mind like Karla had tried to take them from Jaenelle.
Karla
Karla reached back to catch Raven's hands, wishing she had enough positive emotions to send back right now. They all needed calming, and talking about Briarwood wasn't the best way to do it.
"I didn't know who or where I was," she continued, keeping the explanation as short as she could. "I was filled with cold fury, and attacked one of my teachers. And then I fell into the Twisted Kingdom. Not far, but far enough that I couldn't find my way back again."
Morton
Morton hissed softly, eyes widening. The Twisted Kingdom? She hadn't thought it was worth mentioning a little adventure there?
Dinah
Dinah's first reaction as Lucivar moved to block Saetan had been: oh, we are so screwed. Damnit, Raven. Then to realize Raven had made the same mistake she had, of treating these guys like you'd expect normal authority figures to react; and not knowing what to keep secret, and what not. She missed Barbara. Principal Winchester. Ghanima. So much.
Lucivar was, thank God, covering Saetan; Morton was getting calmer.... Dinah saw Raven's eyes and really realized what that meant now, and gulped. How to get her calmer, how not to draw attention-- oh, who cared if they'd seen?
She kept her attention on Raven, and concentrated on sending as much love and calm as she could toward her. As many memories of taking care of Raven, as Raven was trying to take care of Karla. And hey, how much she loved Karla too, not the way Raven did. Maybe it would help, a little.
Karla
"And my friends helped me," Karla said, ignoring Morton's indrawn breath, Lucivar's slight flinch, everything but the male in front of her. "They entered my mental landscape and followed where I had gone. They went to Briarwood, met Rose and Marjane and Dannie, saw the tree and the 'toybox' and the cells with the manacles. The braved the horrors of that place and then they got me out. So, yes, I know what happened to Jaenelle there. They know what happened to Jaenelle there. But they--my friends--they've proven time and time again that they will come for me. They'll find me and help me and do what they can to make sure I'm all right. Dinah, Raven, Emma. Ben and Ender, too. They're not Blood, they don't know Protocol...but they care about me. Enough to face Hell and the fracturing mind of a Black Widow to make sure I'm safe."
She turned to Morton, holding out her hands in supplication. "This isn't a contest about who loves me more or who I love. My friends there can never make me forget who or what I am. They can never make me doubt my place or my future. But they can help me grow into the Queen you want me to be. I'm stubborn and foolish and often wrong-headed and I make stupid, colossal mistake, but that doesn't mean I want anything other than to graduate from Fandom and come home to Glacia. Kaeleer is my home. That will never, ever change."
Morton
And apparently that was all Morton needed to hear. The tension in his shoulders bled away. He flashed his cousin a quick smile.
Well, the tension Karla had put there did. The tension from Saetan's too-smooth voice? Yeah, still there.
Raven
Raven's tension was easing as Karla became calmer, then Morton, and Dinah tried to offset the negative emotion with positive. But it was still churning inside her instead of dispersing as it usually did. She barely paid it any notice, though, still focused on Saetan and Lucivar, waiting to see what they would say next.
Saetan
Saetan closed his eyes and exhaled a long, shuddery sigh as he consciously backed away from the edge, step by careful mental step. "For a year, Karla," he whispered. "For a year, you've been carrying that around and yet you didn't say--?"
Darkness. No wondered she felt she couldn't give up if Jaenelle didn't. Knowing, to that exquisite degree, just what Jaenelle had gone through, carrying those memories...
Karla
Karla shrugged, all awkwardness and uncertainty. "I did what I had to do. I served my Queen and my friends called me back. I just--dealt."
Go forward, never let them know you're not at your best. Also show strength where they expect weakness, steel where they expect soft. Give them nothing to use against you, never doubt, never waver, never flinch. Never show your true self to those in charge.
Hard lessons, learned in her uncle's Court. Lessons that had risen up and bitten her at Fandom.
Dinah
Dinah sighed in relief as Prince Saetan seemed to calm down, then sent Karla a sad look as she answered him. Seriously, what could you say to that? No matter how many times she'd told Karla she didn't have to deal alone, it never seemed like Karla really believed it, down to her bones.
"None of us regret that," Dinah said aloud. Facing Saetan, but speaking to Karla. "Not one of us. We'd do it again. Hard as it was." And more love toward Raven, who had been there too. And maybe it was good she'd brought this up now, angrily and clumsily as she had. "Karla didn't ask us. We volunteered." Her lips twitched upward. "Why do you think so many of them plan on being here when she becomes Queen? We know what she'll have to deal with. We want to be there."
Lucivar
"Right. We just have to make sure Karla doesn't do anything stupid before she gets there," Lucivar said, tactful as always. He took another drink of his whisky as he turned to face Karla; facing down his father was a scary proposition. "Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I'm starting to think we're going around in circles. So, progress reports when you go back to school. Honesty, when nasty things happen and you get yourself hurt. Raven's already promised to keep you from doing the stupidly noble things you're going to try to do anyway. I've already had a talk with a few of your males out there, though I may add one or two more things after this little chat. Anything else?"
Karla"I've already agreed to an escort to and from every portal," Karla said, trying to swallow her reluctance. "Since cell phones work in Kaeleer, setting one up shouldn't be too difficult, even on unexpected visits."
She winced a little and added, "Cell phones for the family, too, probably. So Morton's not the only one with an off-world connection."
Thank the Darkness that the necessity of keeping such things charged would keep the phones for emergency contacts. Because the idea of Khary learning the meaning of 'drunk-dialing' or something...
Lucivar
Lucivar nodded and his smile wasn't one meant to reassure her on that last idea one bit. "I think the Hall would benefit from having a few of these 'cell phones,' yes."
He looked at Saetan and Morton. "That sound reasonable to you?"
Morton
Morton was looking at Karla. Hard. Trying to evaluate her condition. Not just from the past few days, but... overall.
He took a deep breath, then slowly let it out.
"Yes."
He closed his eyes, hoping he wouldn't regret that answer. But... he thought Karla meant it. That she'd be more honest with them now. That was all he asked.
Saetan
Saetan sighed and, for a moment, he looked rather old again. Finding the daughter of his soul hadn't prepared him for a horde of teenagers descending on the Hall. And he most certainly hadn't expected to come to love them all, too. This situation with Karla would take a lot of brooding consideration in the coming nights.
"I will also be writing to several of your teachers and your headmistress," he said, looking back up at the room. "I am going to lay out the whole story as I know it and see if they have any suggestions. I can write them while we wait for the portal."
Karla
Karla stood with her head bowed. "I'm...sorry," she said, haltingly. "For not being honest. For causing you all pain. For putting myself at risk. I swear, I try to do what's right...but sometimes I get confused. And what's right isn't always what's best. I'm sorry."
She loathed apologies, she really did. But she knew when one was due. Like right now.
Morton
That was apparently enough for Morton. He strode toward Karla, arms open for a hug. "I love you, cousin," he said softly, forgiving her. "I just want you to be safe. So... please... remember that I'm not the only one? We all love you."
Karla
"I love you all, too," Karla said, into his chest. "There's no way I would never come home. Because this is home. And I'll try. I'll try to do better."
[And we're....done? I think? OMG, I think we are! NFI, NFB, OOC would be awesome, and post mater list is still here. Thank so, so much to everyone who read, and thanks even more to everyone who helped out. (There will be a real thank you post in a few, but I wanted to say it again).]