The Queen's Suite, Night
High on Karla's list of things she never knew she never wanted to do was this: knocking at her mother's door, a cup of poison in her hand, waiting execute an innocent woman so her uncle could go free. There were so many things wrong and unfair about what she was doing, it was hard to keep track. She wished she could have taken Dinah up on her offer
( Read more... )
"Is Hobie coming?" Ludmilla asked quickly, peering down the hallway behind Karla, before stepping backwards to allow Karla to come in. "He should be on his way. He promised he'd come by to--to say goodbye."
Her voice quavered a bit. Seeing her death so close at hand was a bit disconcerting, yes.
"That's all right, right?" she asked. "That he's coming to say goodbye?"
Reply
"Of course it's all right," Karla said softly, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. "Do you have any family you'd like to say goodbye to?" She couldn't believe she hadn't asked that before. "This works fast, but we could delay long enough for you to say goodbye..."
Reply
Ludmilla shook her head. "Just Hobie. My mother died when I was little and my father died a few years after I became Queen. Don't you remember?"
At Karla's confused expression, Ludmilla smiled sadly and patted her hand. "No, I suppose you wouldn't. It was right after you came back from living with the coven. You'd just cut off all your hair and Hobie forebade you to come to the funeral looking like a ragamuffin."
Reply
"I don't remember," she said, setting the cup down on a small table. "I'm sorry. It was a...rough period of adjustment."
Coming home from the coven, realizing just what kind of males prowled the estate, getting dragged into the shadows for forced kisses and wandering fingers, even though she'd only been thirteen...That was why she'd cut off her hair and started wearing Morton's castoff clothing. To try to hide from that as much as she could.
But even so, she felt like she ought to remember something about Ludmilla's loss.
Reply
"It's all right," Ludmilla said, her smile growing a little more wistful. "You never liked me much, did you?"
Reply
"No," Karla said softly. "When I was younger, I resented you for not being my mother. I would have resented anyone who became Queen after her. You moved into her rooms and they were cleaned out before I could even save a few things, boxed and put into storage, as if they couldn't wait to be done with her memory."
It hadn't been Ludmilla's fault, but Karla had despised her anyway.
Reply
Ludmilla glanced around, taking in the surroundings anew. "Oh," she said, bringing her hand up over her mouth. "I didn't even think about that. Are you okay? Being in here? Would you rather we moved somewhere else?"
Reply
"I'm fine," she assured the other Queen. "It's changed enough that I don't feel a pang when I come in. It's been your rooms for fifteen years. You deserve to stay where you're most comfortable."
Yeah, Karla could not reconcile her mother's old apartments with the rooms they were in now, decorated in pink and yellow rosettes. Any ghosts of memories brought up standing in front of the double doors of her mother's rooms had been well and truly banished once she'd stepped inside.
Reply
"Thank you, for that," Ludmilla said. "I want to make sure Hobie can find me when he comes to say goodbye. Should--should I drink that now?" She pointed to the steaming cup that Karla had brought in with her, unable to reach out and actually touch it.
Reply
She would get down on her knees and clutch at Ludmilla's hem if she thought that would sway her.
"You don't need to die. You couldn't stay in Glacia, of course, but I have friends, people in other Territories. They could take you in, help you out, let you start a new life where you're valued for who you are! Please, Ludmilla, don't make me do this."
Reply
"I can't do that." Ludmilla shook her head. "I can't betray Hobie like that. I love him."
Her expression showed that she knew Hobart wasn't worth her love or her sacrifice, but that didn't matter. They were his anyway.
"For once, I'm acting the way a Queen should," she said. "I'm trying to be like you. I didn't take responsibility back when it mattered, so the least I can do is take it now."
Reply
Guilt felt like a knife wound in Karla's shoulder stomach. Ludmilla was doing all of this to be more like her, to live up to her.
We cannot afford to let the people of this village follow your example. You would make a martyr of yourself, but you would be followed by many others who sought to be like you.
It is an honor for a Queen to sacrifice her life for her people.
Maybe her friends were right. Maybe there was something wrong with the way Kaeleeran witches were raised to think. Because Ludmilla was saying all the right things, but all Karla could hear was her willingness to throw her life away for no damn good reason.
"Don't do this," she whispered. "Please. Live. Glacia needs your confession more than it needs your life."
Reply
"I-- I--" Ludmilla looked tempted, turning despairing eyes on the cup that Karla had brought. "He...Hobart, I mean, he..."
There were footsteps in the hall, outside of the door. "Hobie?" she asked, racing to open it and welcome him in to say goodbye.
The two servants passing by gave her strange looks and ducked their heads, hurrying on their way.
Reply
"You were saying?" Karla pressed as Ludmilla closed the door and returned. "About Hobart...?"
So close. She was so close to making everything right...
Reply
The moment was gone. Sorry, Karla.
"I take full responsibility." Ludmilla stood firm. "No one else." She couldn't believe how close she had come to betraying the man she loved.
Reply
"Ludmilla, please..." She looked into Ludmilla's eyes and saw a steely resolve there, one no words, no entreaties, and no recriminations would budge.
There was nothing for it. There was no going back for any of them.
"I think it's time for you to drink."
Reply
Leave a comment