Glacia, Kaeleer, Thursday Evening Fandom Time

[glacial_witch]

Karla stood in front of her entire army, expression formal and solemn. Those who had been left behind to train had been recalled, as had those who had gone ahead to scout. It had taken several days, but Karla had not been willing to begin until every person who followed her was in attendance. Behind her were five shrouded boxes; small ones, not

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[blondecanary]

Dinah had been off to the side. Mostly to conceal any flinching that might happen during the funeral. There had been... less than she thought there would be. But still some.

[not_a_parakeet]

"How are you holding up?" Warren looked a little on the concerned side as he stepped up to Dinah after the service was through. "I've only heard the bare bones of what happened from Bob, but..."

He glanced toward the caskets, frowned a little, and then lifted a hand to rest on her shoulder, if she'd let him.

"I'm sorry you went through this, Dinah."

[blondecanary]

"I got out fine," Dinah said, still staring at the caskets. She didn't move away, hands cupping her elbows. "I just... There were so many things I feel like I should've done differently." She swallowed. "And this is just the first one."

[not_a_parakeet]

"You know it's not your fault, right?" Warren chewed on his lip, and then after a moment's hesitation, he held his arms open for a hug. "There are a million things you could've done differently in hindsight. There always will be. But you never saw this coming. You had no warning. And four of you came back alive. That's four more than your attackers were aiming for."

[blondecanary]

Dinah was unmoving for a moment more, then moved in to return Warren's hug, burying her head on his shoulder. "I didn't think it would be easy. At all. But... I thought it would make more sense. I thought if we lost people, it would mean something. And it doesn't. I didn't want them dead, but they're dead. I wanted to keep all our guys safe, but I couldn't."

[not_a_parakeet]

"We can't," Warren agreed, giving her a gentle squeeze and rubbing little circles on her back with one hand. "We can give them the best foundations we can manage... train them, arm them and protect them... but we can't keep them all safe. And they know that."

He held his breath for a moment, and then spoke again.

"It's war. I don't think it's supposed to make sense. It's supposed to be... horrible. Heartbreaking. Bad enough to make one side or the other give in, and if victory really feels like winning, then maybe we'll have been broken a little. But it's not your fault. Absolutely none of this is."

[blondecanary]

"I want to believe that. I do." Dinah kept her head down, because the tears were starting to escape. But would Lief agree? Would Joakim? And it didn't matter if they would or not, their families still missed them. "I'm afraid if I do, though. I got so angry, Warren. He killed Joakim and I-- I just went after him..." She shook her head, holding onto him. "If I start thinking it's not on me, that it's on them, what am I gonna do to them then?"

[not_a_parakeet]

"You're going to do what you need to do in order to survive," Warren murmured. "You're going to protect your people to the best of your ability, just like they're going to protect you. And sometimes it isn't going to be enough. That's... that's what this is, too."

Warren was holding on tightly, now, moving a wing forward so that if she did start to cry, at least she'd have some privacy to do so.

"You do what you can, but don't for a moment think this is on you. Blame Hobart, if you have to blame anyone at all. Blame the people who are manipulating the territory, poisoning the minds of people like the ones we're burying today alongside our own."

[blondecanary]

"Protect. Yes." Dinah latched onto that word like a talisman. Bob was alive, Alba was alive. That mattered. Not more or less than the two that died. The same. She inhaled harshly, nodding. And she would have spared the guys that attacked them, if she'd had one chance or opening...

And at sometimes it isn't going to be enough she did start crying. But it was grief, not guilt, not fear. For Momoko who killed someone, stirring up all her nightmares. For Raven not being able to save Lief. For Alba and Bob. For the three men who may never be identified. Joakim and Lief. And everyone who was still in danger.

[not_a_parakeet]

Warren was quiet while she cried, just holding her close and shielding her with one wing, wrapping the other around her along with his arms. It was hard. It was horrible. And it was going to get a lot worse before it would ever get any better.

Glacia was going to come at one hell of a price. If he didn't realize that before, the evidence of that was laid out for all to see now, in makeshift caskets draped in dark fabric.

[glacial_witch]

"How was it?" Karla asked, stepping up beside her. "I saw you flinch a few times during...everything."

For all that it had been a necessary thing, Karla hadn't been able to shake the feeling she was turning a private event into a spectacle.

[blondecanary]

"It was a good speech," Dinah said truthfully. "Better than I could've given. Stuff that needed to be said." She reached out to play with the ends of Karla's hair, only half-realizing it. Needing the comfort, or to give it. "And you said it well. People will think about this now."

[glacial_witch]

"That's the one thing I want them to remember," Karla murmured. "That we're fighting against one another, but that we're not enemies. I don't want both sides hating and resenting one another when we're supposed to end up one Territory when it's over."

[blondecanary]

Dinah nodded, closing her eyes. "Misguided people." That shouldn't have to die.

Damn Hobart, anyway.

She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry we-- couldn't save more people than we did. Or. Sorry we didn't get away sooner? I don't know." She was quiet. "They thought I was you. And just attacked."

[glacial_witch]

Karla did a bit of flinching of her own right there. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised," she said, striving for nonchalance. "Hobart went out of his way to assure everyone I'm dead. Having me come back now would be quite embarrassing for everyone involved. Better to have a dead witch to excoriate than a live one who outranks you."

Which wasn't a terrifying realization at all, really.

"I'll understand if you don't want to do this anymore," she continued. "Be my body-double, I mean. None of this was your fault and you did nothing wrong--" that was said fiercely, clutching Dinah's hands so she could feel Karla's vehemence on that point, "--but I'll understand if you'd rather not anyway."

[blondecanary]

"Hey. None of that." Dinah felt more like herself, saying that, than she had all week. She'd told Karla that because she had to know, had to be ready for people who would take no prisoners. "I knew this might happen. Was pretty sure it would happen." She took a breath, squeezing Karla's fingers back. I'm glad it wasn't you there, even though part of me thinks you would have handled it better, gotten Joakim and Lief back alive. But this? This is not something I'm backing down from. Especially not after that speech.