(no subject)
I was thinking about how stupid some people can be since I was asked the other day if Renee was that good in bed that I haven't left her yet. It was at that point when I thought to myself "if I had a gun I'd be unloading it rightnow" then I stopped for a minute and figured I'd wait and let Renee know about it because I don't keep shit like that from her.
The only good thing about it is that I started thinking about why we're still together after all the shit that we've been through that's been putting a strain on us for the past two years.
You know how when you first meet people you hold back a little bit so you can get to know them and as you feel more comfortable around them you open up more. Well Renee's the first person I've ever been with that I've actually been able to open up to like that. I mean I've gotten close to people before, but she's the only person who's seen every side of me. Well I think she has.
We were talking earlier about how I don't even know if I've seen every side to me. I was also reminded of a conversation I had with my friend Amy almost ten years ago about how I was always hiding behind some kind of mask, metaphorically speaking ofcourse. I mean I don't physically wear one all the time, but I've always kept things from people because I've never fully trusted anyone I've ever known for several reasons. Though I'm getting away from my point a little.
The thing is, I realized that Renee's the only person who I don't need to hide things from anymore. I know I'll open up here more than I do in person, but when you think about it on here my mask is the computer. Look at my pics on myspace or even on here and how many are edited or how many I'm in a costume compared to how many are really me. Even my main pic that is the real me can be taken as me in a costume because of what I'm wearing. I might be taking the point farther than I need to, but at the same time I like to use alot of examples sometimes.
Anyway like I was saying, for the first time I'm with someone that I can actually be me around. She's helped me make new characters for different activities we've done such as Renn. Faire and club promotions, but at then end of the day I'm the one she's living with and I'm the guy she fell for. How could I give that up?
At the same time she's the only person who's been that comfortable around me and that's something that I can't walk away from without being the biggest piece of shit asshole on the planet.
The only good thing about it is that I started thinking about why we're still together after all the shit that we've been through that's been putting a strain on us for the past two years.
You know how when you first meet people you hold back a little bit so you can get to know them and as you feel more comfortable around them you open up more. Well Renee's the first person I've ever been with that I've actually been able to open up to like that. I mean I've gotten close to people before, but she's the only person who's seen every side of me. Well I think she has.
We were talking earlier about how I don't even know if I've seen every side to me. I was also reminded of a conversation I had with my friend Amy almost ten years ago about how I was always hiding behind some kind of mask, metaphorically speaking ofcourse. I mean I don't physically wear one all the time, but I've always kept things from people because I've never fully trusted anyone I've ever known for several reasons. Though I'm getting away from my point a little.
The thing is, I realized that Renee's the only person who I don't need to hide things from anymore. I know I'll open up here more than I do in person, but when you think about it on here my mask is the computer. Look at my pics on myspace or even on here and how many are edited or how many I'm in a costume compared to how many are really me. Even my main pic that is the real me can be taken as me in a costume because of what I'm wearing. I might be taking the point farther than I need to, but at the same time I like to use alot of examples sometimes.
Anyway like I was saying, for the first time I'm with someone that I can actually be me around. She's helped me make new characters for different activities we've done such as Renn. Faire and club promotions, but at then end of the day I'm the one she's living with and I'm the guy she fell for. How could I give that up?
At the same time she's the only person who's been that comfortable around me and that's something that I can't walk away from without being the biggest piece of shit asshole on the planet.