Hello little bunny!!!
We got a rabbit in late may, and it actually is still alive!! haha :-/ osmon doesn't know how to take good care of bunnies, but he likes them. I think we're on our 4th one.
Anyway I should be more experienced now, but guess what? The fiscal year was coming to a close, and we ran out of money!! My unit got shut down for a week and a half. My boss was going to try to find me a shit in PCU, but he never got back to me, and frankly, I didn't care. I was happy to take this vacation without even having to ask. You know I can get lazy real quick! and you better believe I did not want to go back to work Monday. Whenever I have time away from big parts of my life, I come back a little different.
while I was on vacation I appreciated nature and rediscovered my 16 year old self. I love myself when I was 16. I feel like I was always on my A game as far as fashion is concerned. I was also very happy and genuine. I was also that wimpy but romantic true love teenage heartbroken girl. Not just that, but I was a bit of a boy juggler!! :) I know it makes no sense, but life was always changing during that time.
At first I tried going to the dentist to take advantage of the free time, but that didn't work out. My mom said, "do whatever you would do on vacation." When I got over the baby check I would be getting tomorrow, I decided to fucking go shopping in San Marcos!! I had never been to those outlets, so it was a serious vacation type activity. I spent 4 hours there with Jose, and we had only covered 30%! I brought home a lot of stuff, but no shoes for my brother! I kind of got pressured into buying some, mostly by my self. That and the fact that I was on my vacation are two reasons I went back the next day!! Tuesday night I read a short story I wrote senior year about that time I gave up weed for lent. It's the longest piece I've ever written at 27 pages in a word doc. I've always considered it an unfinished work. I looked back into myself. I was 17 that year. I had been going through a strange time. I copied some entries from the internet and put them in, so I was able to see how miserable I truly was. Some of the entries were marked private, so me and my teacher are the only people who ever read them. I hated school. It was painful at times. I kept going though. I admired that person I use to be and was even more determined to go back to San Marcos to recapture myself and my style. It seemed safe when I went the day before. Plus I just realized how short life is. I wasted so much time being sad over my ex that I was never able to live. I decided to skip town and do this for myself. I came all this way. I loved the long drive by myself. The grass was actually green, and the drive is not too long at all. Shopping has proved with me and in studies that it is therapeutic. I don't know what kind of therapy I needed, but I got it haha. I ended up buying a lot of stuff for Mike and my family. I seriously cleaned house. Not just that, but in the spirit of my 16-17 year old style I bought some Robins egg blue flats (with arch support!) with a flower on the toe. They're reminiscent of my pink pastel flats I had at that age. I love them!! They make my spirit feel as free as it did when I was that age.
when I came back I hung out. There was a time when I was watching the rain. I think it was Thursday. I embraced being the type to like more solitude. I think the only people who I never need a break from are my best friends, but you know how that is... and Idk what Daniel's up to now, but he had been hanging around Justin, and I decided to get away. I spent a lot of time with Michael, and we got a little closer. It made me sad to realize work has gotten in the way of our relationship in some aspects. I have a different life for 3 days, and I feel it. I also partied a lot over my break. Friday night partying actually started Saturday morning and seriously went into lunch time. It scared me that I didn't just want to go to sleep. I had a 2 hour nap and then an energizing workout before I started partying, but damn I was up ridiculously late. I got up at 5pm and wasn't even that hungover. I was just in shock and partied out. I really scared myself. I felt like something bad had happened, but I was really just so shocked to know how close I could have been to hurting myself or someone else. I did not feel like chillin Saturday night. Me and mike stayed in and had a good evening. Sunday was sad cause I came to the realization that I would have to go back to work. I had a feeling of dread. I was clingy with michael, and anxious because it was 4th of july, and I sort of had to visit my family. I ended up being in like a 2 hr powwow with my mom, aunt, and grandma. When I got back home I didn't have a lot of time to spend with Michael. I felt like our relationship was a lot stronger and didn't want to leave and get use to being away from him for 3 days.
I did though :-/ Monday was hard, but I got back in the swing of things. Tuesday was stressful, but I got to be charge nurse! :-D that gets me an extra dollar an hour :) I met the interim director due to an issue with a patient. Unfortunately we also had to discuss another issue with an old patient. it really sucked because i never wanted that kind of relationship with the patients. I love my patients, and always look forward to meeting them. I feel these certain patients created the bad relationships. i don't back down to ridiculous shit and take fault for it. Otherwise work is good for me. The handsome doctor is something to look forward to when things suck or are boring. Yesterday I actually had a very handsome patient! it was like my first and only in all my experiences with patients. Ahh I am tired. Did I ramble? I'm getting better at being a nurse. I guess I will have to work on my customer service. I don't want to get in trouble again. Good night honey.
Ps. I am going back to school this Fall to get my prerequisites to get into the ADN to MSN program at UT!!!! I signed up today for 6 hrs!!! This time I'll be going to NVC! OMG that it such a pretty campus, and it makes me nervous/excited to be going to a new school. If I pass these classes I will only have 2 performing arts, 2 govt, 1 chem, and 1 history class to do before I can get into UT. In the meantime I may even try to get my bachelor's online! We'll see how that goes though. It might be too expensive.
I rediscovered myself.