Thank God...
I don't work out on Sunday. I need a lazy day. I make sure to sweat my ass off during the week and am usually not satisfied if I come home and my face isn't red enough. I take it kind of easy on Saturday. I see a bit of a difference now. I don't weigh myself regularly to avoid feeling defeated.
Have you ever been inspired by another same sex person? Or made to feel insecure by someone?
both make quite an impression and could even be the same person.
I go through school hustling, stressed, anxious, tired, irritable toward classmates (not all. I really like some people), and all the while I wait for time when I can sit and do nothing, seek out time with friends, or party.
With past breaks, and especially this summer break, I get that time and realize I have few people to call. It was really eye opening this summer, even though it's only like 35% into it. I guess because I decided to give up on a friendship that I was in denial about for a long time. It's hard to find people I want to be around, who also want to be around me. There's a lot who only fit one of those clauses, and I guess I prefer to be alone rather than settle. It's weird cause I do like being alone, but not this alone.
I feel like an asshole for not writing to Daniel while he's in the slammer. He probably thinks I don't care, but I do. I just don't know what to say. I'm afraid he's gonna come out worse than he went in. I don't want the other inmate's ideals to affect him, and I don't want him to come out bitter. I don't blame him for going to Jail in the first place, but I do for the other 2 times. I wanted him to learn from it, but he didn't. He showed that he didn't want to deal with the consequences and tried to get around it when really he was just at a halt because of it. He always had to be in hiding because of his warrants.
Anyway, I was happier in school. I had a reason to care about my appearance on a daily basis, and I had some sense of accomplishment. I concluded that I am a person who does need to stay busy. I love a good 3 weeks of doing nothing, but after that I feel unproductive.
Have you ever been inspired by another same sex person? Or made to feel insecure by someone?
both make quite an impression and could even be the same person.
I go through school hustling, stressed, anxious, tired, irritable toward classmates (not all. I really like some people), and all the while I wait for time when I can sit and do nothing, seek out time with friends, or party.
With past breaks, and especially this summer break, I get that time and realize I have few people to call. It was really eye opening this summer, even though it's only like 35% into it. I guess because I decided to give up on a friendship that I was in denial about for a long time. It's hard to find people I want to be around, who also want to be around me. There's a lot who only fit one of those clauses, and I guess I prefer to be alone rather than settle. It's weird cause I do like being alone, but not this alone.
I feel like an asshole for not writing to Daniel while he's in the slammer. He probably thinks I don't care, but I do. I just don't know what to say. I'm afraid he's gonna come out worse than he went in. I don't want the other inmate's ideals to affect him, and I don't want him to come out bitter. I don't blame him for going to Jail in the first place, but I do for the other 2 times. I wanted him to learn from it, but he didn't. He showed that he didn't want to deal with the consequences and tried to get around it when really he was just at a halt because of it. He always had to be in hiding because of his warrants.
Anyway, I was happier in school. I had a reason to care about my appearance on a daily basis, and I had some sense of accomplishment. I concluded that I am a person who does need to stay busy. I love a good 3 weeks of doing nothing, but after that I feel unproductive.