My Christmas Epiphany
Adam: I had a moment today
Adam: It was about Christmas
Adam: and I got emotional in my car LMAO I know I know...cheesy but true.
Jon C.: lol
Adam: I was so saddened at the fact that it means nothing to me anymore
Adam: it's never going to be the same as it was when I was little.
Jon C.: yeah...
Jon C.: believing a fat man brings you stuff
Adam: well I never believed that shit
Adam: ...never...
Adam: the only man that brought me shit was my dad
Jon C.: lol
Jon C.: they didnt put "From: Santa" on it?
Adam: they did...but it was my mother's hand writing...I caught on when it was never the same damn santa
Adam: ...like at the mall and what not
Adam: and the one's that would come to class...and I was like "the jig is up. you sorry fuckers!"
Jon C.: lmao
Adam: it was more about the fact that it was a really wonderful feeling...that everything was ok. There was such an perfect feeling of home and love...I know this is horribly foofoo
Jon C.: lol
Jon C.: its alright
Adam: I didn't care about the gifts and I don't even remember the things I got. But for that time in my life everything was just right. Everyone was happy. There was so no worry...no hard times...nothing that mattered but the people you cared about and loved being with. The feeling of cold outside but the beauty of the warmth and wholeness inside home.
Jon C.: lol well
Jon C.: it was nice
Jon C.: it does feel different now
Jon C.: hmm
Adam: But! There is one thing that saves it from total loss
Jon C.: what tis that
Adam: There is one memory that ties it all together so beautifully; like most periods of time and happenings of life often have, that help it come around full circle. There is a memory I have, that gives this story it's bitter and it's sweet all at the same time. It's of me when I was like 3 years...and I had been in the living room watching Christmas specials on tv, and I fell asleep. and the fire in the fireplace was still going, and the logs were poping and cracking. The tree was up in it's full glory, and ablaze with it's lights. And everything else was off. i remember being picked up by my dad and my head was on his sholder, and I remember seeing the whole room in passing as he caried me up the stairs.
Jon C.: aww
Jon C.: how sweet
Adam: It was just a smidgen of a moment...alittle snap of time...I don't know what it was that made me remember that moment, but i've never forgotten, and I always remember it this time of year. This is partly why I got emotional...cuz in that little tid bit...my whole meaning of Christmas is summed up.
Jon C.: hmm
Adam: And I thought to myself as my eyes were welling up..."wow...I'm never going to have that again."...but as I kept thinking. I realized something. I realized why i want to have children. And I realized that I might not ever have that again, but there is something I can have that I've never had...you see I realized that it was just me in that moment...the most wonderful thing that makes that moment so special is that it was me and my dad. And that someday I will be that dad.
Adam: It was about Christmas
Adam: and I got emotional in my car LMAO I know I know...cheesy but true.
Jon C.: lol
Adam: I was so saddened at the fact that it means nothing to me anymore
Adam: it's never going to be the same as it was when I was little.
Jon C.: yeah...
Jon C.: believing a fat man brings you stuff
Adam: well I never believed that shit
Adam: ...never...
Adam: the only man that brought me shit was my dad
Jon C.: lol
Jon C.: they didnt put "From: Santa" on it?
Adam: they did...but it was my mother's hand writing...I caught on when it was never the same damn santa
Adam: ...like at the mall and what not
Adam: and the one's that would come to class...and I was like "the jig is up. you sorry fuckers!"
Jon C.: lmao
Adam: it was more about the fact that it was a really wonderful feeling...that everything was ok. There was such an perfect feeling of home and love...I know this is horribly foofoo
Jon C.: lol
Jon C.: its alright
Adam: I didn't care about the gifts and I don't even remember the things I got. But for that time in my life everything was just right. Everyone was happy. There was so no worry...no hard times...nothing that mattered but the people you cared about and loved being with. The feeling of cold outside but the beauty of the warmth and wholeness inside home.
Jon C.: lol well
Jon C.: it was nice
Jon C.: it does feel different now
Jon C.: hmm
Adam: But! There is one thing that saves it from total loss
Jon C.: what tis that
Adam: There is one memory that ties it all together so beautifully; like most periods of time and happenings of life often have, that help it come around full circle. There is a memory I have, that gives this story it's bitter and it's sweet all at the same time. It's of me when I was like 3 years...and I had been in the living room watching Christmas specials on tv, and I fell asleep. and the fire in the fireplace was still going, and the logs were poping and cracking. The tree was up in it's full glory, and ablaze with it's lights. And everything else was off. i remember being picked up by my dad and my head was on his sholder, and I remember seeing the whole room in passing as he caried me up the stairs.
Jon C.: aww
Jon C.: how sweet
Adam: It was just a smidgen of a moment...alittle snap of time...I don't know what it was that made me remember that moment, but i've never forgotten, and I always remember it this time of year. This is partly why I got emotional...cuz in that little tid bit...my whole meaning of Christmas is summed up.
Jon C.: hmm
Adam: And I thought to myself as my eyes were welling up..."wow...I'm never going to have that again."...but as I kept thinking. I realized something. I realized why i want to have children. And I realized that I might not ever have that again, but there is something I can have that I've never had...you see I realized that it was just me in that moment...the most wonderful thing that makes that moment so special is that it was me and my dad. And that someday I will be that dad.