I Fucking Suck: Part 2 aka Don't Read This If You Don't Like Angst
I went on two trips this past weekend, for those of you who don't know. The first trip was to my grandparents' house....but that was uneventful and boring, so I can't really say much about that. The second one was to Ohio, where I went to the nifty Cincinnati Zoo and Newport Aquarium with my obnoxious, obese, annoying, immature, and dumbass-tastic younger cousins. Yeah, as you can probably imagine, I could go on for hours about how much they suck in pretty much any way that comes to mind. But, that would be rather hypocritical of me, seeing as how I suck beyond all reason myself.
Do not think that I'm horrible person in the same way as my cousins. Oh no, such is not the case! I'm worse in a much more disgusting and putrid way, one that I don't think I can ever bring myself to forgive. How could I possibly be so horrible? Why, by being a pseudo-intellectual, of course!
Have you ever come across someone, who tries to be intelligent, and wants to be with all of his heart but he is actually one of the most pathetic excuses for an "intelligent" being that you have ever come across? Well, good sirs, I am one of these very pathetic individuals. I wish I could be smart, people say that I'm smart at times, and I appear to be rather "witty" on the internet, but I assure you that I am not nearly as intelligent as you may think.
Of course, the first thing that probably comes to your heads is, "Don't be so down on yourself, you're a very smart person!" But, none of you have ever met me in real life, so you wouldn't really know. Perhaps you'd like to know why my posts in the past have been so "insightful?" Well, it's because I would spend at least 15 minutes on each one when I first started posting on the board! Of course, that number decreased over time...but whenever I would try to counter-act an offensive post, I would spend up-words of thirty to forty five minutes writing these posts! And, this means of communication is much more efficient than actual face-to-face conversation for me! If you were to say some of the things that you fellows do in a IM chat session in "real life," I would probably just stutter and have to stop and thing about what words to use....like a fucking idiot/pseudo-intellectual.
But wait, it gets better! Oh yes, much better indeed! Until just recently, I was what one could call the "king" of snobbish elitists. I felt that anyone who didn't know what I did about anime, video games, the internet, and other worthless information then I felt that they were somehow lesser than me, and for some reason I was "enlightened." Of course, once I came across someone who knew some ten times more than I did about these subjects, yet were STILL able to hold up a job, have a social life (Wow!), and get near perfect grades (Hello sir Nick!), my ego was pretty much destroyed, and good old depression set in. This was a good thing in the end, I guess, because I was actually able to pull out of the huge delusional pit I had dug myself in.
Still, that's no excuse for my past actions! I may have changed, but I am still the egotistical Brad, who would spout out hypocrisies like, "Hey, we're all entitled to our opinion!" when subconsciously I couldn't except the idea of another interest being equal to my own. Let's not forget how many times that I lied to you all about my age and whatnot.
Oh, and why am I bringing this up now? It's because I recently had another blast to my (now) frail ego and sense of reality. While we were driving home, my mom mentioned that my Aunt said that I was like I saint. Well, being the "witty" person that I am, I said that such a label will have to wait until I'm coronated. Being the fucking idiot that I am, I didn't recognize the fact that being coronated was the process of being crowned king, even though I've been studying this subject for the entire Junior Year in British History! Anyway, my mom corrected me, (It's canonized, haha!) and I further proved my stupidity by saying that being coronated was when someone became a priest. Again, she corrected me, and went on about the meaning behind the word. Being the big, bad, idiotic male (pig) that I am, I claimed that I didn't care (even though I did, of course) and told her to stop with the mindless rhetoric. And, she then corrected me on how to pronounce "rhetoric."
To add to the humiliation that I was already suffering from within, she then said that I was a very smart person....Which seemed to hurt more than any of the previous matters. I'm not sure if she was being serious or not, but even if she was, it did bring up many unpleasant thoughts (Like, how I'm not really intelligent at all, and that I'm a pseudo-intellectual...or so I think).
Yeah, I'm so pissed off at myself and angst filled over something as meaningless as a conversation between me and my mother on the way home from a tiring trip. And, that probably means that I'm some kind of stupid teenager that tries to find any convenient chance to feel sorry for myself, but just know that I've already taken that into account....
*Wouldn't be surprised if he's wrong about the above situation, and when the time comes for the truth to be revealed, it's time for more depression!...But, don't let that stop you from replying*
On a lighter note....I might go the Ohio in a month or two, so maybe we could try to work out a time then, when you could get off work and, you know, honor me with your presence?
Edit: Please don't take everything that I say to heart. Some of the things that I said up there were backed up by blind emotion, so some of the "facts" have been stretched to make for a more dramatic effect. Just keep that in mind, please.
Do not think that I'm horrible person in the same way as my cousins. Oh no, such is not the case! I'm worse in a much more disgusting and putrid way, one that I don't think I can ever bring myself to forgive. How could I possibly be so horrible? Why, by being a pseudo-intellectual, of course!
Have you ever come across someone, who tries to be intelligent, and wants to be with all of his heart but he is actually one of the most pathetic excuses for an "intelligent" being that you have ever come across? Well, good sirs, I am one of these very pathetic individuals. I wish I could be smart, people say that I'm smart at times, and I appear to be rather "witty" on the internet, but I assure you that I am not nearly as intelligent as you may think.
Of course, the first thing that probably comes to your heads is, "Don't be so down on yourself, you're a very smart person!" But, none of you have ever met me in real life, so you wouldn't really know. Perhaps you'd like to know why my posts in the past have been so "insightful?" Well, it's because I would spend at least 15 minutes on each one when I first started posting on the board! Of course, that number decreased over time...but whenever I would try to counter-act an offensive post, I would spend up-words of thirty to forty five minutes writing these posts! And, this means of communication is much more efficient than actual face-to-face conversation for me! If you were to say some of the things that you fellows do in a IM chat session in "real life," I would probably just stutter and have to stop and thing about what words to use....like a fucking idiot/pseudo-intellectual.
But wait, it gets better! Oh yes, much better indeed! Until just recently, I was what one could call the "king" of snobbish elitists. I felt that anyone who didn't know what I did about anime, video games, the internet, and other worthless information then I felt that they were somehow lesser than me, and for some reason I was "enlightened." Of course, once I came across someone who knew some ten times more than I did about these subjects, yet were STILL able to hold up a job, have a social life (Wow!), and get near perfect grades (Hello sir Nick!), my ego was pretty much destroyed, and good old depression set in. This was a good thing in the end, I guess, because I was actually able to pull out of the huge delusional pit I had dug myself in.
Still, that's no excuse for my past actions! I may have changed, but I am still the egotistical Brad, who would spout out hypocrisies like, "Hey, we're all entitled to our opinion!" when subconsciously I couldn't except the idea of another interest being equal to my own. Let's not forget how many times that I lied to you all about my age and whatnot.
Oh, and why am I bringing this up now? It's because I recently had another blast to my (now) frail ego and sense of reality. While we were driving home, my mom mentioned that my Aunt said that I was like I saint. Well, being the "witty" person that I am, I said that such a label will have to wait until I'm coronated. Being the fucking idiot that I am, I didn't recognize the fact that being coronated was the process of being crowned king, even though I've been studying this subject for the entire Junior Year in British History! Anyway, my mom corrected me, (It's canonized, haha!) and I further proved my stupidity by saying that being coronated was when someone became a priest. Again, she corrected me, and went on about the meaning behind the word. Being the big, bad, idiotic male (pig) that I am, I claimed that I didn't care (even though I did, of course) and told her to stop with the mindless rhetoric. And, she then corrected me on how to pronounce "rhetoric."
To add to the humiliation that I was already suffering from within, she then said that I was a very smart person....Which seemed to hurt more than any of the previous matters. I'm not sure if she was being serious or not, but even if she was, it did bring up many unpleasant thoughts (Like, how I'm not really intelligent at all, and that I'm a pseudo-intellectual...or so I think).
Yeah, I'm so pissed off at myself and angst filled over something as meaningless as a conversation between me and my mother on the way home from a tiring trip. And, that probably means that I'm some kind of stupid teenager that tries to find any convenient chance to feel sorry for myself, but just know that I've already taken that into account....
*Wouldn't be surprised if he's wrong about the above situation, and when the time comes for the truth to be revealed, it's time for more depression!...But, don't let that stop you from replying*
On a lighter note....I might go the Ohio in a month or two, so maybe we could try to work out a time then, when you could get off work and, you know, honor me with your presence?
Edit: Please don't take everything that I say to heart. Some of the things that I said up there were backed up by blind emotion, so some of the "facts" have been stretched to make for a more dramatic effect. Just keep that in mind, please.