(no subject)

[givme_novocaine]

I could have sworn there used to be.'>
I can't say there's anything I love.
I could have sworn there used to be.

I'm losing friends like never before.
I can always find myself saying the wrong thing.
And then I'll make it worse trying to stop.
I can't get good enough anymore,
Even though the standards haven't changed.
There's not that one thing I'm motivated for.
Without that, everything's the same:
Good, just there.
I've lost the abilities I used to treasure.
How did I not see as it slipped away?
I knew when I was missing it, I'm sure,
But I didn't know what I was missing.
I see these things I used to do so easily,
The things I worked my life for,
And they're not second nature anymore.
What has happened to me, my identity?
That used to be all I was.

I just realized it.
I didn't have all the parts I needed,
But somehow, I still had me.
And now this body is all I am.

I hope I haven't lost all sense of hope
For something better,
Maybe to go back,
Maybe to go somewhere I've never seen,
But something that I always wanted to be.
And I don't know what that is.