last couple days
hmm, i didnt make it year being completely drug free. sucks. still have goals of making this year much better than last year in my mind and for my mind so i am keeping the straight arrow flying towards an anual de libre. haha. my attempt as some basterd spanish from latin. i jsut watched the fifth elemnt in spanish. that is my number one action movie ever. i fucking love it. it's probally like that guilty pleasure movie along with liek troy that i can watch all the time like fuck it, these movies make me feel inspired for personal reasons and i dont care if troy is the biggest fucking wierd untrue son of the iliad and aneid and fifth element is kinda.......i dont know. stupid in parts. but the oprah scene gives me goosbumps and you see milla johovichs boobs in the back ground a couple times haha. and shes the fifth element and it's love! amore bitch haha.
anyway, so thursday I........dont remember what i did. days are blurring, friday i woke up and messed with my neice and then went to work. took keith home after and went to my house and put on canon in d and feel into bed. amanda woke me up with a text cause i had said i was maybe meeting up with her. well i did ha. i got up and dressed and drove to clifton. she wasn't at the house of her freinds when i got there so there was alittle akward half hour or something of sitting in a circle with ten people or something that i had never met before but they were nice and i got like two phone calls anyway so it was tight anyway. amanda and liza showed up and we just chilled. talked and laughed and people smoked a bull and drank and life was nice. then i started talking to some guy who's name i forgot or bearly learned in the first palce, bad habit tommy, about languages. he dissed on spanish mass loving his portaguese and was very honest about how he thought latin was kinda uneeded even though he was a linguistics major. ill tell ya. i like when people are honest and say my major is boring. cause i jsut get the chance to fucking tell them about and make them think different. go into speechs about humanity and art and culture and the base of all things human to us almost and the base to almost every language, as well the most challenging thing you can do to yourself academically probally without math ha. plus, i figured out latin while dreaming the other day at work. it's so beautiful but almost never in it's words. every word is seprate and rarly flow together except in allison but still sometimes it still sounds like i like to say, like stones being thrown into water. each word just on it's own and no really apprent flow to the words. again, i say not always. but, it still manages to be so romantic. i mean so romantic. not because it thrives with the passion of life but because it morns it's self in antiqua amd morte. the fact that it is dead and baried in all our tounges so well that we dont even know it, but to really listen to it in our words and see it inscribed in stone that predates all romantic languages of course. it's old not with ugliness haha, it's old like any antiqua re, it is forgotten and not of the worldly beauty we understand now, and because of that, it is alien and exciting to those that understand and as beautiful as coming upon anything in this world that completely is lost and only so reltivly few really have ever stood upon. it's beautiful and romantic that way. as well as that it is of course romantic haha.
so anyway, talked to that guy and we ended up talking music. a conversation that would bore the ears of anyone not into music but those are lovly conversations. we talked rigidness of classical beauty and the amzeing and needed beauty of free form from jazz and blues. we came to a agreement that he would teach me some paino if i taught him how to improvise and paly with other people. he was slightly arrogent about his skills but i welcome that from anyone he called him self "a trained soloist" and "that people said he might be a virtiuso", not saying those are lies. just the words of confidence that any true artist must reside with in some form or anther. disagree, i dont care. every artist beleives in what they do to a degree that can not be matched but in his or her soul like part. jsut the way i have always seen it. you must love to love. you must destroy and create to love and make the art thats in you. other wise you are a simple drunkerd, drinking some alein thing and then regurgitating it and repeating.
but that was cool, glad to learn some piano of course and teach peopel things i know.
then people talked. it was a good time. glad to see amanda nad liza of course.
then i left and listened to violin the whole way home. canon slays my body man. and there is this gypsy track, it darkened every light in the city i saw on the way home. nothing could get through it. it's so raw and stirringly complicated, making it my faverite word of the night alien and beautiful to my major scale ears.
got home slept, woke up this morning with plans to go play sports with my cuz and his freinds. ate and he called said i was going and then i just fell into the late ness that i got home and started driving whem emily called and then keith texted and ended up at keiths in lazyness and went and saw pirates of the carabien two with him and deshan. we first waited for keith to sort through his last bull of the herb and smoke that in a couple big rips haha. then went to wendys for them. made them listen to the violin stuff ha. it didnt strike them like me but i understand, if keith had mass bass guitar tracks i probally wouldnt care as much as him. and deshan likes the pop and metal pretty much so ya know.
but i got yogurt at wendys and i got it all over my fuckin face like usaul. i dont eat yogurt/apple sauce like i am twenty one years old at all. im a fucking baby with that shit. i love it sloppy haha. oh man.....
we got there and it was sold out. so we got tickets for next showing which was an hour and 45 minutes away but fuck it. if we can do anything as freinds, it's waste some fucking time. so we went to kroger and emily called me pissed as fuck that i didnt go to her party last night ha. she didnt let me get a word in for like a minutes at one point. man, i jsut cant do it. cant be around her and dem people. they can be mad. think i am so loser college kid thats trying to "live like everyone else" haha. it's ridiculous. they act like going to college makes you think that you can't learn from any other venue. fuck that. it's just a really vaulable venue amoung many others. and anyway, fuck them for acting like im a snob. am i snob? nope. they are smart. but they know more about how many grams are in twenty than things that will ever further themselves expect for in that world. and i jsut dont want it. so im a pussy. wont be the first time in my life. i write poems and paint my nails and have shit in my hair oh fuck me it means i must like boys. haha. its funny how true that is for what people say to me so much of the time at work and family and in looks. it okay. makes me feel good to not give a shit about thier static little lives that change and further nothing. man.........that's mean......sorry
but after kroger and water and ginger ale and pop rocks experiments haha. we explored the near by quarry behind westwood cinama haha. took mass tight pictures with my disposable camra i bought for bonaroo and forgot ha.
we gauwked at girls ha. or i did i dont know. there were lots of pretty ones and this girl came up to us and looked right at me and smiled big and said "hi" and deshan swore she was looking at him haha. boys man, whats our deal. i dont even care for these things but in the presence of other boys it's just there. playfully and fun.
we climbed back up the huge rock wall and i realized i forgot my shirt so i ahd to go back down haha. but then got back and went to movie. it was fucking long man. i didnt expect it. it was good. i guess i cant really say my faverite parts cause it will ruin it for some accidently but shit. i didnt love it. it was alright, but that was my opionioin of the first. jonny depp s tight and he gave me hair ideas.
we left and went to burger king and i got a veggie burger. they are just boca burgers in whopper sauce but they are good as fuck i must say. we sat outside and discussed stars and lives and shit. at least deshan and i did. keith chimed in with lots of logical things and shit. i love deshan..hes passive as fuck, annoys me with hisdrama that could be so easliy avoided, he beleives anything, he has no confidence, but for all those reasons he is deshan and i love him for it. and he is one of those rare people that could play a video game for ten hours straight and then come lay under the stars for the same amount of time and get both. and he loves the ocean like a beach dwelling creatures must when they are first bore before they become used to it, but i doubt we ever will. the kid loves water. his dreams seem crazy when he talks about his plans for life, but he has them, lurking somewhere behind his heart that beats so wantingly of women getting him into trouble after trouble, but he shares those dreams with me. im happy he does. i hope i have motivateed him at least alittle bit. i really hope that. him more than anyone. people always tell me i make them feel more confident. boys at least. im always so happy about that. i really hope i can ever do that for him.
so we went back to keiths then and hung out doing very little. jsut talking and played a football game and played some bass guitar. about 1 i got out of there feeling happy to have hung out with my fraters of the last year minus sean. but still fun and some great pictures i fucking cant wait to see.
got home and drank water and played guitar and watched fifth element and now did this. good night. te amo amoris.
~tommy
anyway, so thursday I........dont remember what i did. days are blurring, friday i woke up and messed with my neice and then went to work. took keith home after and went to my house and put on canon in d and feel into bed. amanda woke me up with a text cause i had said i was maybe meeting up with her. well i did ha. i got up and dressed and drove to clifton. she wasn't at the house of her freinds when i got there so there was alittle akward half hour or something of sitting in a circle with ten people or something that i had never met before but they were nice and i got like two phone calls anyway so it was tight anyway. amanda and liza showed up and we just chilled. talked and laughed and people smoked a bull and drank and life was nice. then i started talking to some guy who's name i forgot or bearly learned in the first palce, bad habit tommy, about languages. he dissed on spanish mass loving his portaguese and was very honest about how he thought latin was kinda uneeded even though he was a linguistics major. ill tell ya. i like when people are honest and say my major is boring. cause i jsut get the chance to fucking tell them about and make them think different. go into speechs about humanity and art and culture and the base of all things human to us almost and the base to almost every language, as well the most challenging thing you can do to yourself academically probally without math ha. plus, i figured out latin while dreaming the other day at work. it's so beautiful but almost never in it's words. every word is seprate and rarly flow together except in allison but still sometimes it still sounds like i like to say, like stones being thrown into water. each word just on it's own and no really apprent flow to the words. again, i say not always. but, it still manages to be so romantic. i mean so romantic. not because it thrives with the passion of life but because it morns it's self in antiqua amd morte. the fact that it is dead and baried in all our tounges so well that we dont even know it, but to really listen to it in our words and see it inscribed in stone that predates all romantic languages of course. it's old not with ugliness haha, it's old like any antiqua re, it is forgotten and not of the worldly beauty we understand now, and because of that, it is alien and exciting to those that understand and as beautiful as coming upon anything in this world that completely is lost and only so reltivly few really have ever stood upon. it's beautiful and romantic that way. as well as that it is of course romantic haha.
so anyway, talked to that guy and we ended up talking music. a conversation that would bore the ears of anyone not into music but those are lovly conversations. we talked rigidness of classical beauty and the amzeing and needed beauty of free form from jazz and blues. we came to a agreement that he would teach me some paino if i taught him how to improvise and paly with other people. he was slightly arrogent about his skills but i welcome that from anyone he called him self "a trained soloist" and "that people said he might be a virtiuso", not saying those are lies. just the words of confidence that any true artist must reside with in some form or anther. disagree, i dont care. every artist beleives in what they do to a degree that can not be matched but in his or her soul like part. jsut the way i have always seen it. you must love to love. you must destroy and create to love and make the art thats in you. other wise you are a simple drunkerd, drinking some alein thing and then regurgitating it and repeating.
but that was cool, glad to learn some piano of course and teach peopel things i know.
then people talked. it was a good time. glad to see amanda nad liza of course.
then i left and listened to violin the whole way home. canon slays my body man. and there is this gypsy track, it darkened every light in the city i saw on the way home. nothing could get through it. it's so raw and stirringly complicated, making it my faverite word of the night alien and beautiful to my major scale ears.
got home slept, woke up this morning with plans to go play sports with my cuz and his freinds. ate and he called said i was going and then i just fell into the late ness that i got home and started driving whem emily called and then keith texted and ended up at keiths in lazyness and went and saw pirates of the carabien two with him and deshan. we first waited for keith to sort through his last bull of the herb and smoke that in a couple big rips haha. then went to wendys for them. made them listen to the violin stuff ha. it didnt strike them like me but i understand, if keith had mass bass guitar tracks i probally wouldnt care as much as him. and deshan likes the pop and metal pretty much so ya know.
but i got yogurt at wendys and i got it all over my fuckin face like usaul. i dont eat yogurt/apple sauce like i am twenty one years old at all. im a fucking baby with that shit. i love it sloppy haha. oh man.....
we got there and it was sold out. so we got tickets for next showing which was an hour and 45 minutes away but fuck it. if we can do anything as freinds, it's waste some fucking time. so we went to kroger and emily called me pissed as fuck that i didnt go to her party last night ha. she didnt let me get a word in for like a minutes at one point. man, i jsut cant do it. cant be around her and dem people. they can be mad. think i am so loser college kid thats trying to "live like everyone else" haha. it's ridiculous. they act like going to college makes you think that you can't learn from any other venue. fuck that. it's just a really vaulable venue amoung many others. and anyway, fuck them for acting like im a snob. am i snob? nope. they are smart. but they know more about how many grams are in twenty than things that will ever further themselves expect for in that world. and i jsut dont want it. so im a pussy. wont be the first time in my life. i write poems and paint my nails and have shit in my hair oh fuck me it means i must like boys. haha. its funny how true that is for what people say to me so much of the time at work and family and in looks. it okay. makes me feel good to not give a shit about thier static little lives that change and further nothing. man.........that's mean......sorry
but after kroger and water and ginger ale and pop rocks experiments haha. we explored the near by quarry behind westwood cinama haha. took mass tight pictures with my disposable camra i bought for bonaroo and forgot ha.
we gauwked at girls ha. or i did i dont know. there were lots of pretty ones and this girl came up to us and looked right at me and smiled big and said "hi" and deshan swore she was looking at him haha. boys man, whats our deal. i dont even care for these things but in the presence of other boys it's just there. playfully and fun.
we climbed back up the huge rock wall and i realized i forgot my shirt so i ahd to go back down haha. but then got back and went to movie. it was fucking long man. i didnt expect it. it was good. i guess i cant really say my faverite parts cause it will ruin it for some accidently but shit. i didnt love it. it was alright, but that was my opionioin of the first. jonny depp s tight and he gave me hair ideas.
we left and went to burger king and i got a veggie burger. they are just boca burgers in whopper sauce but they are good as fuck i must say. we sat outside and discussed stars and lives and shit. at least deshan and i did. keith chimed in with lots of logical things and shit. i love deshan..hes passive as fuck, annoys me with hisdrama that could be so easliy avoided, he beleives anything, he has no confidence, but for all those reasons he is deshan and i love him for it. and he is one of those rare people that could play a video game for ten hours straight and then come lay under the stars for the same amount of time and get both. and he loves the ocean like a beach dwelling creatures must when they are first bore before they become used to it, but i doubt we ever will. the kid loves water. his dreams seem crazy when he talks about his plans for life, but he has them, lurking somewhere behind his heart that beats so wantingly of women getting him into trouble after trouble, but he shares those dreams with me. im happy he does. i hope i have motivateed him at least alittle bit. i really hope that. him more than anyone. people always tell me i make them feel more confident. boys at least. im always so happy about that. i really hope i can ever do that for him.
so we went back to keiths then and hung out doing very little. jsut talking and played a football game and played some bass guitar. about 1 i got out of there feeling happy to have hung out with my fraters of the last year minus sean. but still fun and some great pictures i fucking cant wait to see.
got home and drank water and played guitar and watched fifth element and now did this. good night. te amo amoris.
~tommy