So Tired and Underprepared
Suddenly every pop punk band under the sun is trying to be my friend on myspace. I don't understand it. Maybe when i get some free time I'll check some of them out, write a review or two. I don't know. Life is busy, very busy.
Halloween this Friday! I have no plans, but I want a bon fire and some smores. Since, you know, I don't have any little kids to dress up with and take trick or treating and I'm too old for any other the other fun games. Bundled up beside a fire with friends eating ooey gooey smores and drinking hot chocolate sounds stellar in comparison to sitting alone at home all night.
I'm going to clean up this journal tonight, it looks pretty messy. It's getting late though, so I'll have to write fast. I have to get up early tomorrow. Three classes and the internship, no time for a nap. I think my New Year's resolution will be to not schedule any classes before nine AM next semester. It's so funny how I used to think one in the afternoon was sleeping in and now eight fifteen on a wednesday morning is pushing it. Ridiculous.
I bought new ribbon today, hot pink in fact. New bows are coming when I get the chance. I have to say despite my detached mood the past few days, which I think is due to the antibiotics I'm on, today was a pretty good day. I talked to my brother on the phone for almost an hour. I miss him. When I finally got out of my car, most of our conversation was had while I sat in the Wal Mart parking lot, I was still smiling and made a few other people smile as well.
Days like this are when I wonder if there's some point in life where everything bad you've ever done suddenly all comes back and knocks you down to your lowest level and then all the good things come and pick you back up. After which I presume you would start fresh or maybe you would be finished by then. I don't know.
I've cut a lot of ties and it makes me feel really alone sometimes, but I have been trying to look at it as growing stronger. Easier said than done though. I've never been one to just walk away. I always try to work problems out, but I guess during the initial shock of college set in I realized my priorities and that some things you just can't fix. Especially if those things don't see that they're broken inside. Right now, I just can't try to figure those gears out. Maybe when the world becomes simple again I'll come back around, but at this moment I have ten thousand weights on my shoulders and I can't carry anything else.
I never realized how much I signed myself up for in college. It gets pretty dark and lonely, but somehow the small things shine through and I know soon everything will be okay again. The weather is changing and that always triggers thoughts. I don't know. Sometimes I just wish my life was like a mixed tape that I could rewind and fast forward and repeat all my favorite songs.
Halloween this Friday! I have no plans, but I want a bon fire and some smores. Since, you know, I don't have any little kids to dress up with and take trick or treating and I'm too old for any other the other fun games. Bundled up beside a fire with friends eating ooey gooey smores and drinking hot chocolate sounds stellar in comparison to sitting alone at home all night.
I'm going to clean up this journal tonight, it looks pretty messy. It's getting late though, so I'll have to write fast. I have to get up early tomorrow. Three classes and the internship, no time for a nap. I think my New Year's resolution will be to not schedule any classes before nine AM next semester. It's so funny how I used to think one in the afternoon was sleeping in and now eight fifteen on a wednesday morning is pushing it. Ridiculous.
I bought new ribbon today, hot pink in fact. New bows are coming when I get the chance. I have to say despite my detached mood the past few days, which I think is due to the antibiotics I'm on, today was a pretty good day. I talked to my brother on the phone for almost an hour. I miss him. When I finally got out of my car, most of our conversation was had while I sat in the Wal Mart parking lot, I was still smiling and made a few other people smile as well.
Days like this are when I wonder if there's some point in life where everything bad you've ever done suddenly all comes back and knocks you down to your lowest level and then all the good things come and pick you back up. After which I presume you would start fresh or maybe you would be finished by then. I don't know.
I've cut a lot of ties and it makes me feel really alone sometimes, but I have been trying to look at it as growing stronger. Easier said than done though. I've never been one to just walk away. I always try to work problems out, but I guess during the initial shock of college set in I realized my priorities and that some things you just can't fix. Especially if those things don't see that they're broken inside. Right now, I just can't try to figure those gears out. Maybe when the world becomes simple again I'll come back around, but at this moment I have ten thousand weights on my shoulders and I can't carry anything else.
I never realized how much I signed myself up for in college. It gets pretty dark and lonely, but somehow the small things shine through and I know soon everything will be okay again. The weather is changing and that always triggers thoughts. I don't know. Sometimes I just wish my life was like a mixed tape that I could rewind and fast forward and repeat all my favorite songs.