(no subject)
After writing one too many cover letters, it just starts getting to you, that whatever you put down, the head staffer responsible for handling all applications will just glance over before tossing it aside.
Hopefully they don't do the same for my most recent one.
Call Center Representative
[random company here]
[company address]
[companty location and zip]
March 23rd, 2011
Dear Sir/Madam:
Once I saw this position available, it became utmost important that I send you my qualifications, for the ultimately futile sake of overglorifying myself over hundreds of applicants attempting to do the same. Let's see, I am a recent college graduate from UCF, looking for grunt work so that I may start my depressing climb up the ladder to success, which will no doubt end with me faceplanted on the bottom due to a fuck up.
If you hire me, I shall obey every command you say, grumble about it with snarky coworkers who secretly want to murder me in my sleep, and end up fired just because you can't afford to keep paying us. In fact, with my mere B.A. in Communications, I'm more that qualified to work inside a call center, where I'll be on the receiving ends of irate customers who excel at Miscommunication. Sadly, my experience is sorely limited, but hey I can make up for it with my extreme thirst for such. Just trust me when I say I am your willing slave.
If you want to hear more of my self-absorbed drivel, both my email and phone number are enclosed inside my resume. I trust that you won't send them out to strangers who will use it to stalk/assault/steal from me. Again, it would please me greatly to consider me. I need the money to fuel my rocket to Mars for my retirement home.
Not-so-Sincerely,
Jacqueline [personal information edited out]
Hopefully they don't do the same for my most recent one.
Call Center Representative
[random company here]
[company address]
[companty location and zip]
March 23rd, 2011
Dear Sir/Madam:
Once I saw this position available, it became utmost important that I send you my qualifications, for the ultimately futile sake of overglorifying myself over hundreds of applicants attempting to do the same. Let's see, I am a recent college graduate from UCF, looking for grunt work so that I may start my depressing climb up the ladder to success, which will no doubt end with me faceplanted on the bottom due to a fuck up.
If you hire me, I shall obey every command you say, grumble about it with snarky coworkers who secretly want to murder me in my sleep, and end up fired just because you can't afford to keep paying us. In fact, with my mere B.A. in Communications, I'm more that qualified to work inside a call center, where I'll be on the receiving ends of irate customers who excel at Miscommunication. Sadly, my experience is sorely limited, but hey I can make up for it with my extreme thirst for such. Just trust me when I say I am your willing slave.
If you want to hear more of my self-absorbed drivel, both my email and phone number are enclosed inside my resume. I trust that you won't send them out to strangers who will use it to stalk/assault/steal from me. Again, it would please me greatly to consider me. I need the money to fuel my rocket to Mars for my retirement home.
Not-so-Sincerely,
Jacqueline [personal information edited out]