unhealthy.
i honestly loved him and thought it would work. and it's all my fault. i deserve this.
i've been doing nothing but drinking--getting pissed, stumbling, blackout drunk--every day and night since it happened. weed just puts a million new thoughts in my head, but i can drink until i forget him and everything else that happens. so i drink until he goes away, and i do things that would normally horrify me.
and i think he knows about those things. i am horrified.
also, i am sober for the first time in over a week. i can't drown my sorrows. i have to go through it eventually.
i just want it to stop. like, really bad. everything's ruined.
i've been doing nothing but drinking--getting pissed, stumbling, blackout drunk--every day and night since it happened. weed just puts a million new thoughts in my head, but i can drink until i forget him and everything else that happens. so i drink until he goes away, and i do things that would normally horrify me.
and i think he knows about those things. i am horrified.
also, i am sober for the first time in over a week. i can't drown my sorrows. i have to go through it eventually.
i just want it to stop. like, really bad. everything's ruined.