Hairdresser, Nevermore

[givemethegun]

As a treat to myself before heading on holidays, I'd decided months back that I'd get myself a professional haircut. Usually I have The Husband cut my hair, or, when possible, Mars has a go at it in her basement with a pair of rusty shears - both do a top notch job. But this time I thought I'd indulge in a little girliness and actually pay some

Comments

Girl, stand up for yourself.

[flaxendandelion]

I'm not understanding why you should have felt guilty or assholish about the hairdresser situation. It was their damn fault for getting it wrong. If that was me, I would have been raising hell and asking for the manager (regardless of what Maggie said about the manager not having any of it). $20 is way too generous a tip for such a situation, I'd probably have left less than $10 and that tip would have been sympathy for the hairdresser's shit wages and nothing more. You tell me I can get something for a certain price, you better be giving it to me for that price!

I have no time for people trying to take advantage of me and my hard-earned money.

Ah I miss Trader Joe's so much.

Hey, I notice the comments section is not in your journal's format anymore!

Re: Girl, stand up for yourself.

[givemethegun]

My paid account expired :)

That's the majority of it - I have social anxieties, and have grown up being very apologetic for everything, even when it's not my fault. Later I feel resentful and angry at myself for not standing up for myself. Odd part is, I'll always, always stand up for others if I see someone being mistreated. Yeah, I have some issues.

Maggie was actually lovely, though. The whole thing was doomed from the start, and I should have just cut my losses and walked when I was told $160. Because now I have stupid, incomplete hair that is the most costly hairjob I've ever had, and it's still nothing like what I requested.

Pft, hair, whatever, done.

We should do a trade - I desperately need a tonne of Vegemite, and you need Trader Joes.

Re: Girl, stand up for yourself.

[flaxendandelion]

I am saying this to you because I was the exact same way. And the only thing I got out of being apologetic was being taken advantage of and duped. I may as well have had 'DOORMAT' tattooed on my forehead

Re: Girl, stand up for yourself.

[givemethegun]

the day will come when you realize some people are going to hate your ass even if you give them a handjob and a sixpack.

lol at this, but no - I go through periods of paranoia where I think Everyone Hates Me (amongst my friends), but in general, I don't care too much what others think of me, especially strangers. It's different - I just, have a lot of guilt, bigtime guilt complexes, and I'm guessing I'll have a lifetime of trying to overcome that.

I also stand up for those being mistreated, even to the point where it makes me vulnerable.

Yes, I do this, also. I could be shaking with fear (as has happened once before), but still will say something.

Not sure if you can ship hair dye, but there's an idea! Wait until my NOLA project is over and I've recovered a little financially, and we can hopefully organise a trade. It's stupidly expensive to ship from here to there and vice versa (esp. as they've now removed the surface mail option), but we'll see.

xx

Re: Girl, stand up for yourself.

[flaxendandelion]

Yeah, same here. It doesn't help I have friends who are moody and could easily justify the paranoia. The two things that have helped me the greatest: asking mutual friends if there's something going on with the person because they seem mad at me; knowing you haven't done anything wrong, so not letting it torment you

Re: Girl, stand up for yourself.

[givemethegun]

My best friend and my husband are both very generous tippers, 20% or more, if warranted. I've always felt stingy about tipping, because I come from a place that doesn't really practice it unless someone is providing awesome service - it's not expected. So I went into this knowing that a tip was expected, and I'd budgeted for $20 as it was all a part of Treating Myself And Fucking The Cost.

Re: Girl, stand up for yourself.

[flaxendandelion]

I remember only tipping 10% max because that's the norm. If I got great service I'd feel bad but always tell myself that when I get rich I'll tip way more. 20% tip from someone with an American minimum wage is really just asking for punishment in the wallet.

Still that's really nice of your husband and best friend.

Re: Girl, stand up for yourself.

[givemethegun]

They are both very generous people who don't really care about money that much. I consider myself very generous also, but have spent a lot of my life living on the edge of poverty, so am far more cautious with bling (hahah, see post). I believe in tipping if someone does an awesome job - not just because they show up for their job. People aren't motivated to do good work if they expect a tip regardless, and I truly am not that fussy about Quality Service.