March Meme So Far!
What advice would you give someone asking you about poly?
I would tell them it will be the most difficult and rewarding personal paths and decisions that they will probably fail at. Being poly is about following a very high ideal, which values freedom and love. It is so "go with the flow" that you have to be organized about it. Our society attaches so much stigma to relationships, and most people come into poly with a lot of baggage. You have to be totally honest with yourself, and with other people--and most people have a very hard time with it. You will be constantly confronted with people who don't understand your situation, who will judge you and call you a slut. And when you tell them about how you love all of your partners, they will think you are just rationalizing. Poly is not for everyone. And just because you are poly doesn't mean the other people you want to be with are, and then you have to make choices and they will be hard. Poly is great for people who are naturally social and giving of themselves. It is maybe not the best choice for someone with issues of security. I think it is great for folks who aren't ready for a long term commitment to one person, as being poly gives them permission to date around and find the right person. I sometimes think that poly people just don't know when to break up, and for the sake of continuing to be poly, they stay in relationships that don't feed them anymore. When I was poly, it was a lot of work, and both sides had to deal with jealousies, although they agreed with the ideals. I spent a lot of time soothing both partners. I found that I let my primary relationship go for the thrills of the new one (and I've seen that in a few poly relationships). It's HARD. I do think some people are naturally poly, and sincerely enjoy the lifestyle (and I appreciate poly folks because they are all about the love). I found out that I prefer security, and simplicity in my life. Being poly taught me to be more honest with everyone in my life, and to talk with my partner about the limits of our relationship and to come to an agreement that supported everyone. Sharing time was HARD. Even having everyone together was hard, but I think some practice may have solved that. I love the idea of living in a loving community, but when it comes down to it, I don't want to schedule my time away. I did learn a lot about myself, and it was the catalyst for some very big changes in my life. But people also made assumptions about me that I didn't like: for example, just because I'm poly doesn't mean I want to sleep with you! I was in two committed relationships. So, before you go poly, do some serious self evaluation. Why do you want to do it? What benefits do you think you will get? What about your partners? What limits would you place? And read books about it. Read more than one. And talk talk talk. I say you won't know how it will be for you until you try it: but educate yourself about it first. And GOOD LUCK to ya!
What makes you happy? What THRILLS you?
- I am thrilled by animals, when they show you affection or you connect with them and they start talking to you.
- I am thrilled by teaching about Paganism. When someone has a question that stumps you, or they have that "a-ha" moment.
- I am thrilled by taking others on spiritual journeys, or by counseling someone or giving a tarot reading. When everything clicks and they suddenly know exactly what they needed to do, and I asked the question that got them there.
- When my friends are successful and happy, I am happy and thrilled for them.
- I am thrilled when someone says they need me to do something, because I would do the best job at it, or I'm the most qualified, or I do it so well. Maybe I just need to be needed, but I want to do something useful and be helpful to other people.
- I am happy when I read a really good piece of writing. I'm thrilled when I discover it is one of mine, and i just forgot that I wrote it.
- I am happy when all my bills are paid, and I have money left over and don't know what to do with it.
- I am thrilled when I can take someone to ritual who maybe hasn't been before, and they leave saying "that was wonderful!"
- I am happy when people call me or come visit, AND don't berate me for not calling them.
- I am thrilled when someone has a brilliant idea, and then they actually go through with it and make it happen. So much the better if I can help! and even thrillier if we can all make money off it!
- I am thrilled when I open myself up and hear the Gods and nature all around me. In that blissful moment when everything is tingling and the whole world is singing.
What do you think the Goddess looks like physically?
She looks like every woman. To me she is curvy, with milk pale skin and long black hair. She looks like the moon incarnate, with soft, round features and a shear dress. She has generous, outstretched hands, and light dancing feet. Right now, to me, she is the maiden. But I have also seen her grey and withered: a white haired Eskimo woman with the experience of years written on her face. Sometimes, she is a mother, with a short hair-cut so the child doesn't pull her hair, who still wears the chub of her pregnancy, and her breasts are swollen with milk but she is beautiful in her giving. Other times, she is a shrewd woman with a sharp nose and long dark hair. As Hecate, she wears glasses. As Athena, she's reading a book. As a warrior, an Amazon with breast plate and spear. Sometimes she is a glowing light. More often she is a voice. A voice that sounds just like mine, but older, like me in 20 years. She is me idealized because we say "as above, so below". If I can't see divinity in myself, then others won't, and I won't be able to see divinity in them. Everyday, I get closer to my image of Herself. Well, I probably will never be an Eskimo woman, but maybe I was in another life.
Anymore questions? I'm screening now!