more work....

[givemean_a]

i started this entry off really whiny.
then i deleted it.
i deleted it because no matter what happens w/r/t work
i will survive.

i'm not thrilled about going to this "new" job.
but honestly i could be doing something awful.
it bides my time until i find something better.

i have another interview on friday with a child care corp.
i hope it pans out nicely wage wise.
i would take a pay cut if it meant no w/e no holidays etc.

i'm glad i'm heading back into therapy.
sometimes i get this really low growl in my head that spits angry things at me, statements i would never make to anyone else, yet i believe them.
it's happening now.
regarding that, despite her assurances that sometimes it takes a while.
i see the ad all over, c-list, monster etc.
maybe they aren't interested in me.

i'm trying to stay positive.
because it isn't helpful to be anything else.
but honestly...
i'm not convinced.

i feel icky.
i'm hungry too.

i wish i were waking up to fantastic news.
something to look forward to re: work

i really think i missed the boat.
and i'm not a very strong swimmer.