Paper Cuts 1/??
Title: Paper Cuts 1/??
Author: giveitupjessica
Rating: PG (language)
Pairings: 2min, taemin/sulli, minho/oc, jonghyun/oc, key/onew
Summary: There are two different sides to Choi Minho. The Minho playing sports who is too competitive for his own good. The one that a good portion of the student body swooned over as they watched him run around and kick ass in whatever he was doing. The one that everyone wanted to hang out with and be friends (or sometimes more than friends) with. But that Minho was gone the moment he stepped out of the locker room after practice or a game. Then there was the Minho who liked to be left alone. Who always hid behind his glasses and a book. The more prominent one. The one that no one realized was the same person they cheered for during games. He preferred to be this Minho though. But there was one thing that both sides of him had in common. He was in love with Lee Taemin. The only problem? Taemin already had a girlfriend and together they made the perfect couple. The couple everyone envied, but loved at the same time.
A/N: Here we go the first full part of Paper Cuts. Sorry for any mistakes. I'll make sure to go back and edit it later tonight. But I wanted to post it before I went off on my numerous errands today. ENJOY! COMMENTS = <3 LOVE!
PAPERCUTS
CHAPTER ONE
I sat in my normal spot at the back of Starbucks with a book casually in my hand and a coffee in front of me. I was in my own little world, engrossed in the words that were popping out from the pages in front of me. It was nice to be able to escape reality for a little bit. It was nice to escape unbothered.
I continued to read the book, adjusting my glasses every once and awhile and sometimes grabbing the cup in front of me to take a sip. I felt the presence of someone as they took a seat across from me, but paid them no attention. I kept on reading even though the eyes from the person across from me could have burned a hole in the pages. It was only when I reached the end of the chapter that I dog eared the page to keep my place and gently set the book on the table. I eyed the girl sitting across from me and took a sip of the bitter yet sweet liquid of my cup.
“You know I was partially tempted to just grab the book right out of your hands,” she says to me.
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I knew you’d be mad at me if I did. Besides I figured since you were the one to invite me, I couldn’t be rude like that. Did you really have to finish the chapter before acknowledging my existence though?”
“Yes. It totally ruins the flow of things if you stop in the middle.”
“Says you,” she sighs. Just then one of the baristas calls out her name and she leaves the table briefly to collect her drink and a plate with a pumpkin scone on it. She settled in the seat across from me and gave me a curious stare.
“What?” I ask, immediately breaking off a piece of pumpkin scone only to have my hand slapped away, “Ouch, what was that for?”
“Not until you tell me why you asked me to come here. To invade your precious alone time. You know, you only ever ask me to join you at Starbucks when it’s something important.”
“No I don’t.”
“Lying doesn’t work for you Minho.”
“What? I can’t want the company of my lovely and beautiful best friend sometimes?”
“Flattery doesn’t work either.”
“Sometimes I think you know me too good.”
“I know. Now what’s up?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to hang with you,” I reply again.
“Like I said, you don’t invite me to your precious Starbucks alone time to just hang. We can do that at each other’s houses, like we normally do.”
Just then the door opened and a soft autumn breeze drifted into the room until it closed behind the people who had just entered. I inhaled the smell of the leaves that came with the wind and smiled at the fact that autumn was finally here. Eventually, my gaze drifted to the people who had just entered and were now huddled close at the counter ordering their drinks. My best friend’s eyes followed my gaze and a soft sigh of realization escaped her lips.
“Now I see why you told me to come,” she says to me with a smirk on her face, “So how long has he been coming here? I’m guessing it’s a normal thing?”
“I don’t know. I just noticed the other week that he comes here around this time every day. Sometimes he brings her, sometimes he just comes alone.”
“Ah I see,” her gaze goes to the two people again and then returns to me, but this time with a sort of sadness in her eyes.
“Don’t look at me like that Jazzy,” I sigh as again I take a piece of pumpkin scone this time she doesn’t stop me.
“So you made me drop everything I was doing to come here and show me that,” she cocks her head in the direction of the people who had taken a seat across the room.
“Yup.”
“Why?”
“So I can complain that my one sanctuary I have in my life is now ruined because of that.”
“Then just don’t come at this time. Change your routine, come earlier or later.”
“I don’t want to. You know how I am.”
“Yeah, once you have a set routine, it’s hard to break you of it.”
“Besides, I was coming here first.”
“How do you know? You said you just started noticing him the other week. Maybe he’s been coming here long before you started to and you just never took notice of him. Ever thought of that?”
“Whatever,” I slouch in my seat a little and a small pout forms on my lips.
We sit there in a comfortable silence. A silence that I can only experience with my best friend. The scone slowly disappears as we both take small pieces of it to go with the coffee we have in front of us.
“I just don’t get it,” I finally say.
“Get what?”
“Why he’s with her.”
She looks over at the table again and nibbles the piece of scone in her hand, “I don’t know. Because he likes her and she likes him.”
“Jazzy,” I sigh.
“What? What other reason is there for two people to date?”
“Is there ever a moment when you’re not so blunt.”
“Nope, but you wouldn’t have it any other way right? Besides that’s why I have the best friend status and not just friend because I tell you how it is regardless.”
“I guess, but would it hurt for you to at least sugar coat it a bit so it’s easier to swallow and digest.”
“The truth is bitter Minho. Just like coffee. You can add sugar, cream, and syrup, but there will always be that bitter after taste. So you just have to deal with it,” she says matter of factly.
I watch as he drops his head lower to whisper in the girl’s ear. A small smile starts to form on her lips and eventually a soft laughter escapes. He tightens the grip his hand has on her shoulder and she moves closer to him. Then he places a soft kiss on her temple as they continue to talk with bright smiles on their faces. To other people it might have been heart warming, seeing a young couple so in love, but to me it was nauseating. I grudgingly grab my coffee and down the rest of it, only to be left with that bitterness that Jazzy just described to me. How ironic I thought.
“C’mon, let’s go,” I stand up from my chair, “I can’t be here anymore.”
“Why you even put yourself through this I will never understand,” she says as she too stands up.
“I wish I knew the answer to that,” I grab my book off the table and wince when I feel a sharp pain on one of my fingers. I look down and see a thin line of red gracing the tip of my ring finger. It wasn’t deep enough to really bleed, but it hurt like a bitch. I shook my hand in attempts to make the pain go away, but it was useless.
“What’s wrong?” my best friend asks me as she watches me stare at my hand.
“Nothing, just got a paper cut. Let’s go,” I grab both of our jackets off the chairs along with her purse and storm out of the room.
“Yah!” I hear her yell behind me and I slow down my pace until I’m at a complete stop. I wait for her to catch up to me and when she’s finally beside me I look down at her.
“You know I can’t run as fast as you. I’m far from athletic,” she panted and leaned over to try and catch her breath.
“Sorry,” I place a hand on her shoulder and she looks up at me.
“So are we going to your place or mines?”
“Mine’s closer,” I say and we begin to walk in the direction of my apartment. It only took a few minutes before I saw my building come into view. It’s funny that I thought of Starbucks as my sanctuary rather than my own home. Even though I was living alone, I never really felt at ease in my apartment. Jazzy told me it was because I just moved in not too long ago and had yet to break the place in. I chose to believe her for the time being at least.
I threw both of our coats on the couch and set her bag on top of it as soon as we walked into my place. I began to walk in the direction of my room after placing my keys and glasses on the counter.
“You wanna borrow some sweats?” I call out to her from my room as I change into my favorite pair of gray sweatpants and a black tank top.
“Are we going jogging later?” she asks back.
“If you want to or we can just chill,” I poke my head out of the room and glance at her on the couch, “We did do five miles yesterday and another three time morning. Your body probably hates you.”
“If it does, I don’t feel it yet.”
I duck back into my room and start to rummage through my drawers, “So do wanna borrow a pair or not?”
“Sure,” she’s standing at my door and holding out her hands. I place the sweats and shirt in it and walk out.
She joins me on the couch not too long afterwards and sets her clothes on top of her bag, “So do you wanna jog later?”
“No. I’ve never worked out this hard in my life. Explain to me why I’m doing this again. You’re the athletic one, not me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being in shape,” I grab the remote off the coffee table and turn on the TV.
“Are you saying I’m fat?”
“Jazzy, you of all people should know that you’re not fat. You have curves, but are far from fat. Besides being in shape has nothing to do with being fat or skinny. It’s just making sure you take care of your body so it will in turn take care of you. Plus you were just saying this morning how good you felt after working out and the energy you had the rest of the day because of it. So really there is nothing but positive outcomes to working out. As long as you don’t strain yourself that is.”
“Whatever, you could’ve just said that it’s good for me to work out instead of giving me a long ass explanation,” she grabbed the remote from my hand and changed it to some music channel before setting it back down on the table.
We sat there for awhile watching the different bands perform. She brought her legs up to her chest and hugged them tightly, a sign I knew all too well. She was cold, so I grabbed the sweatshirt I had discarded this morning after our jog off the chair beside me and placed it around her. I swear the girl was like a Chihuahua, always freezing regardless of the time of year. She shrugged into the sweatshirt and zipped it up.
During one of the commercial breaks she started to stare at me which made me a little uneasy, “Stop looking at me like that. It creeps me out.”
“It’s a shame really,” she finally says as she returns her attention to the TV.
“What is?”
“That you waste all of that,” she points her finger at me and moves it up and down.
“What are you talking about?”
“What’s the point of having a hot best friend if he’s always hiding behind books and glasses?”
“Have you finally lost it? Did all that working out finally cause your brain to crack?” I asked as I felt her forehead and jokingly waved my hand in front of her face. She immediately slapped it away and gave me a dirty look.
“I have not lost it. I’m just saying that when you’re not hiding behind your books and glasses you can be pretty damn hot. Enough to rival Taemin that’s for sure. And the screams that come from both the female and male student body during sporting events is enough to attest to that. Not to say that you’re not attractive with the glasses and books, but normally I’m the only one who notices it. Plus I think that if you were to be the sport Minho more often, Taemin will realize just how amazing you are and leave Sulli for you.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I would say that you’re getting soft on me Jazzy,” I laugh as I poke her cheek.
“I am not getting soft. I meant what I said. I think if you want Taemin to notice you, you have to stop hiding behind things. You’re never going to get him if you don’t.”
“I’d prefer him to like this me not the sport me. This is who I really I am.”
“I’m not saying to stop being who you are, I’m just saying to let the sport Minho make an appearance in your every day life.”
“Whatever. Everyone knows how crazy he is about Sulli. There are already rumors that they’re engaged and are going to get married the minute we graduate. How can I compete with that?”
“Where is the competitive Minho now? Where is that flaming charisma that is always present on the field? That Minho wouldn’t be giving up this easily.”
“That Minho is only around when I have a ball in my hand or at my feet,” I reply, “Can we just drop it now? I don’t feel like talking about Taemin at the moment.”
“Whatever. You know that this conversation is far from over.”
“I know, as always we’ll pick up where we left off eventually. Are you hungry?” I ask as I look down at her.
“Are you going to cook?”
“Yeah.”
“Then no.”
“What?! I’m not that bad of a cook.”
“I didn’t say you were a bad cook. I just don’t feel like ramen or kimchi stew. You really should learn how to cook other dishes,” she gets up off the couch and makes her way to the kitchen, “Now let’s see what I can whip up.”
I had followed her and was watching from the corner as she moved around my kitchen with ease. She was a really beautiful girl and any guy would love to have her as a girlfriend. Not only did she have the looks she also was smart, funny, sweet, and knew how to hold her own. She didn’t always play the damsel in distress. I think it’s safe to say that she could easily fit into the mold of many guys ideal girl. And I was reminded of this often when I’d have a random classmate of mine come up to me to try and find out any information on her to get one step closer to the ultimate goal of claiming her as their own. It never worked though because even though she was all those great things she was also extremely picky and stubborn. If I weren’t completely enamored with Taemin, I’m sure we would have been a couple by now. A couple that could easily blow Taemin and Sulli out of the water to claim the spot of dream couple. Unfortunately, life wasn’t fair and I fell in love with Taemin and not my best friend.
“Minho?” her voice brought me back to reality.
“Huh?”
“I asked if you wanted chicken or pork in the soup.”
“Oh, whatever you want to use is fine with me. You always cook the best food,” I hopped up on the counter and watched her start preparing our dinner.
“Jazzy?” I ask.
“Hm?”
“Why haven’t we ever dated?”
She turns to face me with a weird expression on her face, “A. Because you’re gay and B. Because I don’t have a penis. I think the latter takes me out of the running right from the get go.”
“I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m gay,” I start and she raises her eyebrows at me, “Well yeah I’m in love with Taemin and he’s a guy, but I’ve been attracted to girls in the past. I even liked you more than a friend at one point. Remember I even asked your dad if I could marry you.”
“Minho, we were five. I also believed I was getting a unicorn for my birthday that year,” she rolled her eyes and returned to the pots on the stove.
“But don’t they say that love, regardless of how old you are 5 or 50, is still the same thing?”
“Why are you bringing this up in the first place?” she was facing me again with a confused look on her face.
“I don’t know. I was just thinking that if life went the way it was supposed to, we would be a couple. We’d be the ‘IT’ couple on campus not Taemin and Sulli. And I wouldn’t have to go through this aching in my heart whenever I saw him. Especially when I see him with Sulli, draped all over each other. I mean it’s not too weird to think of right? It would certainly make both of our parents happy.”
“Yes, but that isn’t how life goes Minho. We don’t get to make the big decisions in life, they are made for us. You’re in love with Taemin, not me.”
“Unfortunately. Someone must really hate me up there.”
“Whatever. It’s not like you could handle me as your girlfriend anyways,” she laughed as she grabbed bowls out of the cabinet. She started to place rice in the bowls and placed some of the stew she just made in a bigger bowl. I followed her out the kitchen with utensils and glasses of water to the small dining table I had situated right outside of it. We took our normal seats across from each other to settle down for dinner. I grab my glasses off the counter and put them on before we actually start to eat.
“I could totally handle you as my girlfriend. I can handle you just fine as my best friend, can’t I?” I question as I spooned a little bit of the stew into her bowl before serving myself.
“That’s different. Best friend me is different than girlfriend me.”
“But don’t they say that the best relationships in life start off with best friends. And we’re best friends,” I shove some food in my mouth and look at her.
“Is this your way of asking me out?” she takes a sip from her water before continuing, “Because if it is then I’ll have to decline.”
“It’s not,” I laugh, “I’m just saying.”
“Well stop. You’re acting all strange and I don’t like it.”
I laugh again as I reach over and ruffle her hair, “Thanks for the awesome dinner by the way. It tastes amazing as always.”
“You’re welcome.”
The rest of dinner was filled with talk about nothing in general. We touched on several different topics, but didn’t delve very deep into them before moving on to something more interesting. Our conversations were always easy, never once did we stumble around for what to talk about or what to say. We could talk about something really serious one minute and the next we’re talking about something light and funny. It all came natural to us. I guess that’s why we were best friends. And I knew how lucky I was to have her as my best friend.
We settled on the couch again to watch more TV after dinner. We’d talk during commercials or have brief conversations after something interesting happened on the show that we were watching. Other than that it was silent. Which was also fine. Again I found myself wondering why life never went the way it was supposed to. Anyone else would think we were perfect for each other, that we were meant to be together. But that wasn’t what was planned for us. We were best friends and that’s how it would remain.
“It’s getting late,” she glances at the clock on the wall, “I should get home. I still have a little bit of homework I need to get done before I go to bed.”
I stand up with her and grab her jacket and purse once again, “Okay. I’ll walk you home.”
“You don’t have to Minho. I’m a big girl now. I can walk a couple blocks on my own just fine,” she replies as she grabs her stuff from my hands.
“And we go through this argument every time we hang out at my apartment.”
“Yes and it seems like you never listen to what I say.”
“You never listen to what I say either. The last thing I need is for my mom to find out that I let you walk home alone in the middle of the night. I would never hear the end of it,” I grab her stuff again and begin to walk to the door, “C’mon already. You know you never win this argument. So save your energy for the walk okay?”
She pouts at me and huffs, “Let me go use the bathroom first then.”
“Fine,” I put my jacket and shoes on, “I’ll wait for you in the hall.”
“Whatever,” I hear her yell as I step out into the hall. I lean back against the wall to face my door as I wait for her to join me. I hear faint footsteps walking in my direction as I take off my glasses to clean them. I breathe on them and use the fabric of my tank top to clean them off. The footsteps seem to be right by me and I look up only to be greeted by a faint smile as the person stops at the door next to me. Oh I forgot to mention the cruelest part of my life. The thing that confirms that someone up there must really hate me or has a really fucked up sense of humor. Because the person who so conveniently lives right across the hall from me is none other than Lee Taemin.
*~*
I make my way down the long hallway to my apartment. I can faintly see a figure leaning in the vicinity of where my door would be and wonder who it is. If it’s someone waiting for me. Maybe it’s one of my friends. As I get closer I realize, it’s not a friend of mine at all, but the guy that lives across the hall. I study him a little as my pace slows down and take in the sight of him. He’s casually leaning against the wall with an air of James Dean from Rebel Without a Cause surrounding him. I watch as he pulls his glasses off his face and casually cleans them. Blowing hot air on them before pulling the hem of his shirt up to clean them off. I feel my breath get caught in my throat as a glimpse of his defined abs are revealed when he lifts his shirt a little too high.
When I’m finally at my door, he stops and looks at me. I give him a shy smile and dig around in my pocket for my keys. Why of all times did it feel like my pockets were endless. I probably looked like a fool as I dug deeper and deeper into them unable to pull out what I needed.
He smirked down at me, “Looking for your keys?”
I nod shyly.
“Check your other hand,” he points down and I follow his gaze. And there they are around my ring finger. I let out a nervous laugh and palm my forehead
Just then I hear a door open and turn around to see Jazzy emerge from the apartment that I knew was his. She smiled gently at me and then looked at the guy. Of course he would be with someone like Jazzy. She wasn’t known as the unattainable beauty at school for nothing. I guess he was the reason why she was unattainable.
“What took you so long?” he asked her casually.
“Almost forgot my clothes,” she held up the neat pile in her hands. I took that moment to look at what she was wearing. She had on a pair of really lose gray sweat pants, similar to the ones that the guy was wearing, and a lose shirt. Both of which I was sure belonged to the guy and not to her. It was strange that even though the clothes were way too big for her, you could still see a faint outline of the curves that made up her body. This was probably why the guy was with her. Not very many girls can make huge, old sweats look extremely sexy.
“Oh,” he smirked as he rubbed the back of his head.
“Yeah, oh. I put your sweatshirt back in your closet by the way.”
I had no idea why I was still standing there. Watching the obvious couple and listening to their somewhat private conversation. My feet just wouldn’t allow me to move from the spot I was in.
“You didn’t have to do that. You could have worn it home.”
“I have my jacket,” she pointed to his hands.
“My sweatshirt is warmer than your jacket.”
“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes at him which he returned with a soft smile. A soft smile that made me melt like butter inside.
“Anyways, ready?” he asks her.
“Yeah,” I watch as he hands her the purse that was in his hand and helps her with her jacket. I didn’t know why I felt my heart drop a little as I watched this.
She looks at me with that gentle smile on her face again, “See you in class Taemin?”
“Yeah, of course,” I say absentmindedly.
Then I watch as the guy softly slips his arm around her and turns her in the direction of the elevators, “C’mon Jazzy. It’s getting late.”
“Okay,” she allows him to lead her away and I watch their retreating backs.
I wondered why the guy always looked so familiar whenever I happened to bump into him in the halls of our apartment building. Maybe he goes to the same university as me. That would explain how he knows Jazzy. I sigh as I finally enter my apartment and settle at the dining table to start on my homework. I had to find out more about this guy and why I always felt so drawn to him when he was near.
Author: giveitupjessica
Rating: PG (language)
Pairings: 2min, taemin/sulli, minho/oc, jonghyun/oc, key/onew
Summary: There are two different sides to Choi Minho. The Minho playing sports who is too competitive for his own good. The one that a good portion of the student body swooned over as they watched him run around and kick ass in whatever he was doing. The one that everyone wanted to hang out with and be friends (or sometimes more than friends) with. But that Minho was gone the moment he stepped out of the locker room after practice or a game. Then there was the Minho who liked to be left alone. Who always hid behind his glasses and a book. The more prominent one. The one that no one realized was the same person they cheered for during games. He preferred to be this Minho though. But there was one thing that both sides of him had in common. He was in love with Lee Taemin. The only problem? Taemin already had a girlfriend and together they made the perfect couple. The couple everyone envied, but loved at the same time.
A/N: Here we go the first full part of Paper Cuts. Sorry for any mistakes. I'll make sure to go back and edit it later tonight. But I wanted to post it before I went off on my numerous errands today. ENJOY! COMMENTS = <3 LOVE!
PAPERCUTS
CHAPTER ONE
I sat in my normal spot at the back of Starbucks with a book casually in my hand and a coffee in front of me. I was in my own little world, engrossed in the words that were popping out from the pages in front of me. It was nice to be able to escape reality for a little bit. It was nice to escape unbothered.
I continued to read the book, adjusting my glasses every once and awhile and sometimes grabbing the cup in front of me to take a sip. I felt the presence of someone as they took a seat across from me, but paid them no attention. I kept on reading even though the eyes from the person across from me could have burned a hole in the pages. It was only when I reached the end of the chapter that I dog eared the page to keep my place and gently set the book on the table. I eyed the girl sitting across from me and took a sip of the bitter yet sweet liquid of my cup.
“You know I was partially tempted to just grab the book right out of your hands,” she says to me.
“Why didn’t you?”
“Because I knew you’d be mad at me if I did. Besides I figured since you were the one to invite me, I couldn’t be rude like that. Did you really have to finish the chapter before acknowledging my existence though?”
“Yes. It totally ruins the flow of things if you stop in the middle.”
“Says you,” she sighs. Just then one of the baristas calls out her name and she leaves the table briefly to collect her drink and a plate with a pumpkin scone on it. She settled in the seat across from me and gave me a curious stare.
“What?” I ask, immediately breaking off a piece of pumpkin scone only to have my hand slapped away, “Ouch, what was that for?”
“Not until you tell me why you asked me to come here. To invade your precious alone time. You know, you only ever ask me to join you at Starbucks when it’s something important.”
“No I don’t.”
“Lying doesn’t work for you Minho.”
“What? I can’t want the company of my lovely and beautiful best friend sometimes?”
“Flattery doesn’t work either.”
“Sometimes I think you know me too good.”
“I know. Now what’s up?”
“Nothing. I just wanted to hang with you,” I reply again.
“Like I said, you don’t invite me to your precious Starbucks alone time to just hang. We can do that at each other’s houses, like we normally do.”
Just then the door opened and a soft autumn breeze drifted into the room until it closed behind the people who had just entered. I inhaled the smell of the leaves that came with the wind and smiled at the fact that autumn was finally here. Eventually, my gaze drifted to the people who had just entered and were now huddled close at the counter ordering their drinks. My best friend’s eyes followed my gaze and a soft sigh of realization escaped her lips.
“Now I see why you told me to come,” she says to me with a smirk on her face, “So how long has he been coming here? I’m guessing it’s a normal thing?”
“I don’t know. I just noticed the other week that he comes here around this time every day. Sometimes he brings her, sometimes he just comes alone.”
“Ah I see,” her gaze goes to the two people again and then returns to me, but this time with a sort of sadness in her eyes.
“Don’t look at me like that Jazzy,” I sigh as again I take a piece of pumpkin scone this time she doesn’t stop me.
“So you made me drop everything I was doing to come here and show me that,” she cocks her head in the direction of the people who had taken a seat across the room.
“Yup.”
“Why?”
“So I can complain that my one sanctuary I have in my life is now ruined because of that.”
“Then just don’t come at this time. Change your routine, come earlier or later.”
“I don’t want to. You know how I am.”
“Yeah, once you have a set routine, it’s hard to break you of it.”
“Besides, I was coming here first.”
“How do you know? You said you just started noticing him the other week. Maybe he’s been coming here long before you started to and you just never took notice of him. Ever thought of that?”
“Whatever,” I slouch in my seat a little and a small pout forms on my lips.
We sit there in a comfortable silence. A silence that I can only experience with my best friend. The scone slowly disappears as we both take small pieces of it to go with the coffee we have in front of us.
“I just don’t get it,” I finally say.
“Get what?”
“Why he’s with her.”
She looks over at the table again and nibbles the piece of scone in her hand, “I don’t know. Because he likes her and she likes him.”
“Jazzy,” I sigh.
“What? What other reason is there for two people to date?”
“Is there ever a moment when you’re not so blunt.”
“Nope, but you wouldn’t have it any other way right? Besides that’s why I have the best friend status and not just friend because I tell you how it is regardless.”
“I guess, but would it hurt for you to at least sugar coat it a bit so it’s easier to swallow and digest.”
“The truth is bitter Minho. Just like coffee. You can add sugar, cream, and syrup, but there will always be that bitter after taste. So you just have to deal with it,” she says matter of factly.
I watch as he drops his head lower to whisper in the girl’s ear. A small smile starts to form on her lips and eventually a soft laughter escapes. He tightens the grip his hand has on her shoulder and she moves closer to him. Then he places a soft kiss on her temple as they continue to talk with bright smiles on their faces. To other people it might have been heart warming, seeing a young couple so in love, but to me it was nauseating. I grudgingly grab my coffee and down the rest of it, only to be left with that bitterness that Jazzy just described to me. How ironic I thought.
“C’mon, let’s go,” I stand up from my chair, “I can’t be here anymore.”
“Why you even put yourself through this I will never understand,” she says as she too stands up.
“I wish I knew the answer to that,” I grab my book off the table and wince when I feel a sharp pain on one of my fingers. I look down and see a thin line of red gracing the tip of my ring finger. It wasn’t deep enough to really bleed, but it hurt like a bitch. I shook my hand in attempts to make the pain go away, but it was useless.
“What’s wrong?” my best friend asks me as she watches me stare at my hand.
“Nothing, just got a paper cut. Let’s go,” I grab both of our jackets off the chairs along with her purse and storm out of the room.
“Yah!” I hear her yell behind me and I slow down my pace until I’m at a complete stop. I wait for her to catch up to me and when she’s finally beside me I look down at her.
“You know I can’t run as fast as you. I’m far from athletic,” she panted and leaned over to try and catch her breath.
“Sorry,” I place a hand on her shoulder and she looks up at me.
“So are we going to your place or mines?”
“Mine’s closer,” I say and we begin to walk in the direction of my apartment. It only took a few minutes before I saw my building come into view. It’s funny that I thought of Starbucks as my sanctuary rather than my own home. Even though I was living alone, I never really felt at ease in my apartment. Jazzy told me it was because I just moved in not too long ago and had yet to break the place in. I chose to believe her for the time being at least.
I threw both of our coats on the couch and set her bag on top of it as soon as we walked into my place. I began to walk in the direction of my room after placing my keys and glasses on the counter.
“You wanna borrow some sweats?” I call out to her from my room as I change into my favorite pair of gray sweatpants and a black tank top.
“Are we going jogging later?” she asks back.
“If you want to or we can just chill,” I poke my head out of the room and glance at her on the couch, “We did do five miles yesterday and another three time morning. Your body probably hates you.”
“If it does, I don’t feel it yet.”
I duck back into my room and start to rummage through my drawers, “So do wanna borrow a pair or not?”
“Sure,” she’s standing at my door and holding out her hands. I place the sweats and shirt in it and walk out.
She joins me on the couch not too long afterwards and sets her clothes on top of her bag, “So do you wanna jog later?”
“No. I’ve never worked out this hard in my life. Explain to me why I’m doing this again. You’re the athletic one, not me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being in shape,” I grab the remote off the coffee table and turn on the TV.
“Are you saying I’m fat?”
“Jazzy, you of all people should know that you’re not fat. You have curves, but are far from fat. Besides being in shape has nothing to do with being fat or skinny. It’s just making sure you take care of your body so it will in turn take care of you. Plus you were just saying this morning how good you felt after working out and the energy you had the rest of the day because of it. So really there is nothing but positive outcomes to working out. As long as you don’t strain yourself that is.”
“Whatever, you could’ve just said that it’s good for me to work out instead of giving me a long ass explanation,” she grabbed the remote from my hand and changed it to some music channel before setting it back down on the table.
We sat there for awhile watching the different bands perform. She brought her legs up to her chest and hugged them tightly, a sign I knew all too well. She was cold, so I grabbed the sweatshirt I had discarded this morning after our jog off the chair beside me and placed it around her. I swear the girl was like a Chihuahua, always freezing regardless of the time of year. She shrugged into the sweatshirt and zipped it up.
During one of the commercial breaks she started to stare at me which made me a little uneasy, “Stop looking at me like that. It creeps me out.”
“It’s a shame really,” she finally says as she returns her attention to the TV.
“What is?”
“That you waste all of that,” she points her finger at me and moves it up and down.
“What are you talking about?”
“What’s the point of having a hot best friend if he’s always hiding behind books and glasses?”
“Have you finally lost it? Did all that working out finally cause your brain to crack?” I asked as I felt her forehead and jokingly waved my hand in front of her face. She immediately slapped it away and gave me a dirty look.
“I have not lost it. I’m just saying that when you’re not hiding behind your books and glasses you can be pretty damn hot. Enough to rival Taemin that’s for sure. And the screams that come from both the female and male student body during sporting events is enough to attest to that. Not to say that you’re not attractive with the glasses and books, but normally I’m the only one who notices it. Plus I think that if you were to be the sport Minho more often, Taemin will realize just how amazing you are and leave Sulli for you.”
“If I didn’t know any better, I would say that you’re getting soft on me Jazzy,” I laugh as I poke her cheek.
“I am not getting soft. I meant what I said. I think if you want Taemin to notice you, you have to stop hiding behind things. You’re never going to get him if you don’t.”
“I’d prefer him to like this me not the sport me. This is who I really I am.”
“I’m not saying to stop being who you are, I’m just saying to let the sport Minho make an appearance in your every day life.”
“Whatever. Everyone knows how crazy he is about Sulli. There are already rumors that they’re engaged and are going to get married the minute we graduate. How can I compete with that?”
“Where is the competitive Minho now? Where is that flaming charisma that is always present on the field? That Minho wouldn’t be giving up this easily.”
“That Minho is only around when I have a ball in my hand or at my feet,” I reply, “Can we just drop it now? I don’t feel like talking about Taemin at the moment.”
“Whatever. You know that this conversation is far from over.”
“I know, as always we’ll pick up where we left off eventually. Are you hungry?” I ask as I look down at her.
“Are you going to cook?”
“Yeah.”
“Then no.”
“What?! I’m not that bad of a cook.”
“I didn’t say you were a bad cook. I just don’t feel like ramen or kimchi stew. You really should learn how to cook other dishes,” she gets up off the couch and makes her way to the kitchen, “Now let’s see what I can whip up.”
I had followed her and was watching from the corner as she moved around my kitchen with ease. She was a really beautiful girl and any guy would love to have her as a girlfriend. Not only did she have the looks she also was smart, funny, sweet, and knew how to hold her own. She didn’t always play the damsel in distress. I think it’s safe to say that she could easily fit into the mold of many guys ideal girl. And I was reminded of this often when I’d have a random classmate of mine come up to me to try and find out any information on her to get one step closer to the ultimate goal of claiming her as their own. It never worked though because even though she was all those great things she was also extremely picky and stubborn. If I weren’t completely enamored with Taemin, I’m sure we would have been a couple by now. A couple that could easily blow Taemin and Sulli out of the water to claim the spot of dream couple. Unfortunately, life wasn’t fair and I fell in love with Taemin and not my best friend.
“Minho?” her voice brought me back to reality.
“Huh?”
“I asked if you wanted chicken or pork in the soup.”
“Oh, whatever you want to use is fine with me. You always cook the best food,” I hopped up on the counter and watched her start preparing our dinner.
“Jazzy?” I ask.
“Hm?”
“Why haven’t we ever dated?”
She turns to face me with a weird expression on her face, “A. Because you’re gay and B. Because I don’t have a penis. I think the latter takes me out of the running right from the get go.”
“I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m gay,” I start and she raises her eyebrows at me, “Well yeah I’m in love with Taemin and he’s a guy, but I’ve been attracted to girls in the past. I even liked you more than a friend at one point. Remember I even asked your dad if I could marry you.”
“Minho, we were five. I also believed I was getting a unicorn for my birthday that year,” she rolled her eyes and returned to the pots on the stove.
“But don’t they say that love, regardless of how old you are 5 or 50, is still the same thing?”
“Why are you bringing this up in the first place?” she was facing me again with a confused look on her face.
“I don’t know. I was just thinking that if life went the way it was supposed to, we would be a couple. We’d be the ‘IT’ couple on campus not Taemin and Sulli. And I wouldn’t have to go through this aching in my heart whenever I saw him. Especially when I see him with Sulli, draped all over each other. I mean it’s not too weird to think of right? It would certainly make both of our parents happy.”
“Yes, but that isn’t how life goes Minho. We don’t get to make the big decisions in life, they are made for us. You’re in love with Taemin, not me.”
“Unfortunately. Someone must really hate me up there.”
“Whatever. It’s not like you could handle me as your girlfriend anyways,” she laughed as she grabbed bowls out of the cabinet. She started to place rice in the bowls and placed some of the stew she just made in a bigger bowl. I followed her out the kitchen with utensils and glasses of water to the small dining table I had situated right outside of it. We took our normal seats across from each other to settle down for dinner. I grab my glasses off the counter and put them on before we actually start to eat.
“I could totally handle you as my girlfriend. I can handle you just fine as my best friend, can’t I?” I question as I spooned a little bit of the stew into her bowl before serving myself.
“That’s different. Best friend me is different than girlfriend me.”
“But don’t they say that the best relationships in life start off with best friends. And we’re best friends,” I shove some food in my mouth and look at her.
“Is this your way of asking me out?” she takes a sip from her water before continuing, “Because if it is then I’ll have to decline.”
“It’s not,” I laugh, “I’m just saying.”
“Well stop. You’re acting all strange and I don’t like it.”
I laugh again as I reach over and ruffle her hair, “Thanks for the awesome dinner by the way. It tastes amazing as always.”
“You’re welcome.”
The rest of dinner was filled with talk about nothing in general. We touched on several different topics, but didn’t delve very deep into them before moving on to something more interesting. Our conversations were always easy, never once did we stumble around for what to talk about or what to say. We could talk about something really serious one minute and the next we’re talking about something light and funny. It all came natural to us. I guess that’s why we were best friends. And I knew how lucky I was to have her as my best friend.
We settled on the couch again to watch more TV after dinner. We’d talk during commercials or have brief conversations after something interesting happened on the show that we were watching. Other than that it was silent. Which was also fine. Again I found myself wondering why life never went the way it was supposed to. Anyone else would think we were perfect for each other, that we were meant to be together. But that wasn’t what was planned for us. We were best friends and that’s how it would remain.
“It’s getting late,” she glances at the clock on the wall, “I should get home. I still have a little bit of homework I need to get done before I go to bed.”
I stand up with her and grab her jacket and purse once again, “Okay. I’ll walk you home.”
“You don’t have to Minho. I’m a big girl now. I can walk a couple blocks on my own just fine,” she replies as she grabs her stuff from my hands.
“And we go through this argument every time we hang out at my apartment.”
“Yes and it seems like you never listen to what I say.”
“You never listen to what I say either. The last thing I need is for my mom to find out that I let you walk home alone in the middle of the night. I would never hear the end of it,” I grab her stuff again and begin to walk to the door, “C’mon already. You know you never win this argument. So save your energy for the walk okay?”
She pouts at me and huffs, “Let me go use the bathroom first then.”
“Fine,” I put my jacket and shoes on, “I’ll wait for you in the hall.”
“Whatever,” I hear her yell as I step out into the hall. I lean back against the wall to face my door as I wait for her to join me. I hear faint footsteps walking in my direction as I take off my glasses to clean them. I breathe on them and use the fabric of my tank top to clean them off. The footsteps seem to be right by me and I look up only to be greeted by a faint smile as the person stops at the door next to me. Oh I forgot to mention the cruelest part of my life. The thing that confirms that someone up there must really hate me or has a really fucked up sense of humor. Because the person who so conveniently lives right across the hall from me is none other than Lee Taemin.
*~*
I make my way down the long hallway to my apartment. I can faintly see a figure leaning in the vicinity of where my door would be and wonder who it is. If it’s someone waiting for me. Maybe it’s one of my friends. As I get closer I realize, it’s not a friend of mine at all, but the guy that lives across the hall. I study him a little as my pace slows down and take in the sight of him. He’s casually leaning against the wall with an air of James Dean from Rebel Without a Cause surrounding him. I watch as he pulls his glasses off his face and casually cleans them. Blowing hot air on them before pulling the hem of his shirt up to clean them off. I feel my breath get caught in my throat as a glimpse of his defined abs are revealed when he lifts his shirt a little too high.
When I’m finally at my door, he stops and looks at me. I give him a shy smile and dig around in my pocket for my keys. Why of all times did it feel like my pockets were endless. I probably looked like a fool as I dug deeper and deeper into them unable to pull out what I needed.
He smirked down at me, “Looking for your keys?”
I nod shyly.
“Check your other hand,” he points down and I follow his gaze. And there they are around my ring finger. I let out a nervous laugh and palm my forehead
Just then I hear a door open and turn around to see Jazzy emerge from the apartment that I knew was his. She smiled gently at me and then looked at the guy. Of course he would be with someone like Jazzy. She wasn’t known as the unattainable beauty at school for nothing. I guess he was the reason why she was unattainable.
“What took you so long?” he asked her casually.
“Almost forgot my clothes,” she held up the neat pile in her hands. I took that moment to look at what she was wearing. She had on a pair of really lose gray sweat pants, similar to the ones that the guy was wearing, and a lose shirt. Both of which I was sure belonged to the guy and not to her. It was strange that even though the clothes were way too big for her, you could still see a faint outline of the curves that made up her body. This was probably why the guy was with her. Not very many girls can make huge, old sweats look extremely sexy.
“Oh,” he smirked as he rubbed the back of his head.
“Yeah, oh. I put your sweatshirt back in your closet by the way.”
I had no idea why I was still standing there. Watching the obvious couple and listening to their somewhat private conversation. My feet just wouldn’t allow me to move from the spot I was in.
“You didn’t have to do that. You could have worn it home.”
“I have my jacket,” she pointed to his hands.
“My sweatshirt is warmer than your jacket.”
“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes at him which he returned with a soft smile. A soft smile that made me melt like butter inside.
“Anyways, ready?” he asks her.
“Yeah,” I watch as he hands her the purse that was in his hand and helps her with her jacket. I didn’t know why I felt my heart drop a little as I watched this.
She looks at me with that gentle smile on her face again, “See you in class Taemin?”
“Yeah, of course,” I say absentmindedly.
Then I watch as the guy softly slips his arm around her and turns her in the direction of the elevators, “C’mon Jazzy. It’s getting late.”
“Okay,” she allows him to lead her away and I watch their retreating backs.
I wondered why the guy always looked so familiar whenever I happened to bump into him in the halls of our apartment building. Maybe he goes to the same university as me. That would explain how he knows Jazzy. I sigh as I finally enter my apartment and settle at the dining table to start on my homework. I had to find out more about this guy and why I always felt so drawn to him when he was near.