Only love Can Break your Heart
Its been a decade since I've been here... Ill try not to read into that to much. :/
Since we live in a world where people honestly get paid to type out their thoughts, I figure it cant be a horrible idea to do it for free! the mess in my head leaves me feeling impotent at best, and maybe its time I reclaimed my inner dialogue. There's a devil inside me, and i'm kicking the bastard out.
what a roller coaster its been. Somehow, i'm 31. I have a daughter, turning 9 soon, and an 18 year old step son that just graduated. I feel like I've already lived what most people complete by 50.
There's a thick nostalgia in the air lately; With my parents provincial change, and the demons working around the clock, I can barely tell the waking from the REM. the only solace i seem to find, is in the late nights, long walks, and soothing stretches that typically accompany a date with Mary-Jane.
I try to downplay everything in my life. its not that bad. it will change. its just hormones. you're over-reacting.. the only thing I cant seem to accept, is that its not my fault. It is my fault, because I've been a coward until this point. I'm not capable of coping with the next level, so I stay where I am; Ever lost. Ever longing.
Even typing this out... i'm too afraid to be honest. I'm trying to sound intelligent, level headed and poetic, when i couldn't be further from.
I'm fucking broken. in pieces. and it hurts every single second of my life. I don't want to break anymore, but i'm not strong enough to pick up my pieces and move on.
The mess that follows, will be my cerebral diarrhea.
Since we live in a world where people honestly get paid to type out their thoughts, I figure it cant be a horrible idea to do it for free! the mess in my head leaves me feeling impotent at best, and maybe its time I reclaimed my inner dialogue. There's a devil inside me, and i'm kicking the bastard out.
what a roller coaster its been. Somehow, i'm 31. I have a daughter, turning 9 soon, and an 18 year old step son that just graduated. I feel like I've already lived what most people complete by 50.
There's a thick nostalgia in the air lately; With my parents provincial change, and the demons working around the clock, I can barely tell the waking from the REM. the only solace i seem to find, is in the late nights, long walks, and soothing stretches that typically accompany a date with Mary-Jane.
I try to downplay everything in my life. its not that bad. it will change. its just hormones. you're over-reacting.. the only thing I cant seem to accept, is that its not my fault. It is my fault, because I've been a coward until this point. I'm not capable of coping with the next level, so I stay where I am; Ever lost. Ever longing.
Even typing this out... i'm too afraid to be honest. I'm trying to sound intelligent, level headed and poetic, when i couldn't be further from.
I'm fucking broken. in pieces. and it hurts every single second of my life. I don't want to break anymore, but i'm not strong enough to pick up my pieces and move on.
The mess that follows, will be my cerebral diarrhea.