(no subject)
Goddam right it's a beautiful day. You know how people always say that you should stop sometime and watch the world? I mean really watch it. We all say we do, but tonight, tonight I'm really watching. It's so peaceful and I think how wonderful fall is. Damn, I don't even like the fall. It's depressing, everything dies, trees lose their covers, and the light fades early. But tonight is perfect. I just want to call someone up, I know exactly who, and go for a walk, find a patch of grass somewhere, away from the bustling streets, and talk. Now I mean really talk. But I don't call, damnit I never can call anyone. So there's no one around, just me and my cat. She's about to get herself stuck in a tree for forty five minutes. But damn now, and I mean right now, is golden. I'm not sweating or anything. I'm a little cold in fact, but I got my letterman jacket on. That makes me happy too, I mean really happy, like I actually belong somewhere. Even if it is a false sense, I still feel it. It's just me, my jacket, and the cat. Yeah, the one who's about to get stuck in a damn tree, that one. But she's a good cat, and it's a beautiful night, and everythings going alright.
And now for a little something else...
Look, I'm no good at the whole "beginning of a story." Your story begins the day you were born, and I'm not going back that far. So just keep your eyes on the paper and try to keep up.
I've been ditched again, although by now I'm used to it, but not over it. So I'm just sitting here, stranded outside of school with no car, no ride, no will to walk. It's getting cold and I start the think. Dammit, I hate thinking.
I get up and start walking around this tree, pretty small thing, looking up every once and awhile to make sure some bird doesn't crap on me. When I'm on my tenth trip around, despite my best efforts to avoid any projectiles pelting my head, something hits me, except it's not crap. It's an acorn. I bend over to pick it up and notice another handful or so scattered nearby, untouched.
With my hands full of perfectly smooth acorns, I sit down again, this time on the sidewalk that runs adjacent to the tree. I start peeling them, one by one, and with every acorn I complete, I become more and more determined to drive myself insane. I'm thinking real hard and I don't understand. I don't understand science or math or acorns or my friends. I really don't understand her. She'll just keep lying until she no longer knows the truth. But I know the truth and I don't believe her. My other friend and I, we know. But I know Her better than most people. No, I really do. I'm thinking about how I keep mocking her and pretend like it's all fun and games. I know that it pisses her off, that's why I do it. I want her to feel how I feel everytime she leaves me for her lies.
Looking at the acorns all in a row without their covers is enough to make me sad. If only it were that simple, to see inside someone that is. Just peel away the surface. If things were that simple then maybe I wouldn't be sitting here alone. But I am alone, and nothing is going to change that.
And now for a little something else...
Look, I'm no good at the whole "beginning of a story." Your story begins the day you were born, and I'm not going back that far. So just keep your eyes on the paper and try to keep up.
I've been ditched again, although by now I'm used to it, but not over it. So I'm just sitting here, stranded outside of school with no car, no ride, no will to walk. It's getting cold and I start the think. Dammit, I hate thinking.
I get up and start walking around this tree, pretty small thing, looking up every once and awhile to make sure some bird doesn't crap on me. When I'm on my tenth trip around, despite my best efforts to avoid any projectiles pelting my head, something hits me, except it's not crap. It's an acorn. I bend over to pick it up and notice another handful or so scattered nearby, untouched.
With my hands full of perfectly smooth acorns, I sit down again, this time on the sidewalk that runs adjacent to the tree. I start peeling them, one by one, and with every acorn I complete, I become more and more determined to drive myself insane. I'm thinking real hard and I don't understand. I don't understand science or math or acorns or my friends. I really don't understand her. She'll just keep lying until she no longer knows the truth. But I know the truth and I don't believe her. My other friend and I, we know. But I know Her better than most people. No, I really do. I'm thinking about how I keep mocking her and pretend like it's all fun and games. I know that it pisses her off, that's why I do it. I want her to feel how I feel everytime she leaves me for her lies.
Looking at the acorns all in a row without their covers is enough to make me sad. If only it were that simple, to see inside someone that is. Just peel away the surface. If things were that simple then maybe I wouldn't be sitting here alone. But I am alone, and nothing is going to change that.