oct. 19, 2006; 11:46 pm; from jackie morera
i wrote this a while ago. as a monologue actually (idk why seeing as how i havent been in drama since like 8th grade lol) but i was going through old things & found it & for some reason felt the uge to show it to you so yea, here it goes lol
There's no color in your eyes, no life. The burning fire that roared so loud has now been smothered by a passing storm. That fire in your eyes was a drug to me, the way it made my heart stop so abruptly to then beat again faster and stronger with the help of your own. Air tasted better then, a new flavor words couldn’t begin to describe. The warmth of the sun coated my skin and seeped into every pore bringing out a joy in me I didn't even know I had. Every sound became sweeter and no song ever ended because it would be carried away by the wind and sung by the trees.
You had a special glow about you too. From the top of your head to where your feet met the ground there was power, a power that I had never seen in anyone else and it radiated and poured out of each and every hole in your body. That energy sunk into the ground and set the world on fire.
Sometimes I wonder what happened, what went wrong. How someone so spectacular could lose everything so quickly. I worry that the strong may not be as mighty as I used to think they were. And of course, if that’s true, then what’s left to say about those who are weak and unsure? Where does that leave me?
The world could see through me because my mistakes were written all over my face. The reality I lived in was cold and cruel while your fairytale land was just the opposite. How we managed to find each other in the chaos of two worlds spinning is different directions is beyond me.
The sad truth is that I was always stronger then you. I was always real, my hair would get dirty, I would trip and sometimes I’d fall. Not one thing about me was ever perfect. Every action came with its own consequence and some one else would always get hurt. I realize now that the difference between us is in fact my own strength versus yours. When your false reality came crumpling down you tore to pieces and never figured out how to put yourself back together. I on the other hand have stitches all over and scars that will always leave a mark.
You see, it’s always been the imperfections that save you.
i ♥ giss
soo i just decided that God wanted me to write that for you
wanna know whyyy?
because i wrote it like a week before school started ( i was writing an e-mail to my dad & that came out instead--no i didnt send it to him lol)
and i didnt understand it when i wrote it because 1. it was an effin monologue lol and 2. i couldnt use it towards my own experience. So i shunned it almost. i barely feel like i wrote it lol
and today i was cleaning out my Word b/c i hate old essays & random things & i read it & thought of you. so yes, some one up there wanted you to have it :)
i've been thinking of this all day.
There's no color in your eyes, no life. The burning fire that roared so loud has now been smothered by a passing storm. That fire in your eyes was a drug to me, the way it made my heart stop so abruptly to then beat again faster and stronger with the help of your own. Air tasted better then, a new flavor words couldn’t begin to describe. The warmth of the sun coated my skin and seeped into every pore bringing out a joy in me I didn't even know I had. Every sound became sweeter and no song ever ended because it would be carried away by the wind and sung by the trees.
You had a special glow about you too. From the top of your head to where your feet met the ground there was power, a power that I had never seen in anyone else and it radiated and poured out of each and every hole in your body. That energy sunk into the ground and set the world on fire.
Sometimes I wonder what happened, what went wrong. How someone so spectacular could lose everything so quickly. I worry that the strong may not be as mighty as I used to think they were. And of course, if that’s true, then what’s left to say about those who are weak and unsure? Where does that leave me?
The world could see through me because my mistakes were written all over my face. The reality I lived in was cold and cruel while your fairytale land was just the opposite. How we managed to find each other in the chaos of two worlds spinning is different directions is beyond me.
The sad truth is that I was always stronger then you. I was always real, my hair would get dirty, I would trip and sometimes I’d fall. Not one thing about me was ever perfect. Every action came with its own consequence and some one else would always get hurt. I realize now that the difference between us is in fact my own strength versus yours. When your false reality came crumpling down you tore to pieces and never figured out how to put yourself back together. I on the other hand have stitches all over and scars that will always leave a mark.
You see, it’s always been the imperfections that save you.
i ♥ giss
soo i just decided that God wanted me to write that for you
wanna know whyyy?
because i wrote it like a week before school started ( i was writing an e-mail to my dad & that came out instead--no i didnt send it to him lol)
and i didnt understand it when i wrote it because 1. it was an effin monologue lol and 2. i couldnt use it towards my own experience. So i shunned it almost. i barely feel like i wrote it lol
and today i was cleaning out my Word b/c i hate old essays & random things & i read it & thought of you. so yes, some one up there wanted you to have it :)
i've been thinking of this all day.