"Too far away..."
I returned from Brazil late last night. It was probably closer to sunrise than it was to being night. I got home and walked straight out onto my balcony to watch the sunrise, sitting in an old wooden chair and letting my thoughts drift away with the last fragments of night.
If, again, you wander
If, too soon again, you wander
Far away, far away
Let this, too, be with you
An old tune somewhere within you
Far away, far away
Falling through the autumn evening
Every darkened street, calling to forgotten feeling
The passing ghosts and scattered leaves
A lot has happened to me since I last wrote in my journal. My father has pulled through. Thank God. My plane in Brazil was met by my sisters and I will confess to my heart dulling and almost stopping when I saw them all together to meet me. I thought it must be bad news. I'm not used to feeling that way. My father called me the eternal optimist but lately...it's been harder. So many reasons, things pressing down on me. It's been hard to believe completely in optimism, in good. Somehow I lost my way. My belief in que sera, sera. Fate. Meaning. Hope. Love. So I saw my sisters there to meet me and immediately jumped to the worst possibility. That my father had died. I was too late. I just stopped. Refusing to take any steps closer to them, to hearing those words voiced. My sisters just ran to me, smothering me in kisses and tears, telling me over and over that our father would be okay. I could barely believe it. I was afraid to until I stood by his bed and felt him squeeze my hand with his usual warmth, his brown eyes sparking weakly but sparking all the same. He taught me a lesson in believing. Sometimes that's all a person has. Belief. And if you lose that, you lose hope. You lose everything that is good in your life. I believe again. In que sera sera.
If, again, you love him her
If, too soon again, you love him her
Far away, far away
Let this, too, be with him her
Humming smoothly when you kiss him her
Far away, far away
Haunting all the talk, and stalling
Every hope of sleep
Calling to some distant longing
Another soul within your sheets
I spent a week in Brazil with mi familia. I needed that week away from LA. Away from the person I'd become. It was like an injection of life and passion deep into my soul. I watched my father come home from hospital and grow healthier by the day. I giggled with my mother over childhood memories. I danced with my sisters on the beach, feeling the white sand between my toes. I dived into the ocean with myself, finally okay.
If, some day, you love me
If, in truth, some day, you love me
Far away, far away
Let the words within you
Whisper to you how I miss you
Far away, far away
For if, some day, I wander
Then, too soon, I too will wander
Far away, far away
Far away, far away, far away
Calling to your heart, and stealing
All the want away
And now I'm back in LA. I haven't seen anybody yet. But I will.
If, again, you wander
If, too soon again, you wander
Far away, far away
Let this, too, be with you
An old tune somewhere within you
Far away, far away
Falling through the autumn evening
Every darkened street, calling to forgotten feeling
The passing ghosts and scattered leaves
A lot has happened to me since I last wrote in my journal. My father has pulled through. Thank God. My plane in Brazil was met by my sisters and I will confess to my heart dulling and almost stopping when I saw them all together to meet me. I thought it must be bad news. I'm not used to feeling that way. My father called me the eternal optimist but lately...it's been harder. So many reasons, things pressing down on me. It's been hard to believe completely in optimism, in good. Somehow I lost my way. My belief in que sera, sera. Fate. Meaning. Hope. Love. So I saw my sisters there to meet me and immediately jumped to the worst possibility. That my father had died. I was too late. I just stopped. Refusing to take any steps closer to them, to hearing those words voiced. My sisters just ran to me, smothering me in kisses and tears, telling me over and over that our father would be okay. I could barely believe it. I was afraid to until I stood by his bed and felt him squeeze my hand with his usual warmth, his brown eyes sparking weakly but sparking all the same. He taught me a lesson in believing. Sometimes that's all a person has. Belief. And if you lose that, you lose hope. You lose everything that is good in your life. I believe again. In que sera sera.
If, again, you love him her
If, too soon again, you love him her
Far away, far away
Let this, too, be with him her
Humming smoothly when you kiss him her
Far away, far away
Haunting all the talk, and stalling
Every hope of sleep
Calling to some distant longing
Another soul within your sheets
I spent a week in Brazil with mi familia. I needed that week away from LA. Away from the person I'd become. It was like an injection of life and passion deep into my soul. I watched my father come home from hospital and grow healthier by the day. I giggled with my mother over childhood memories. I danced with my sisters on the beach, feeling the white sand between my toes. I dived into the ocean with myself, finally okay.
If, some day, you love me
If, in truth, some day, you love me
Far away, far away
Let the words within you
Whisper to you how I miss you
Far away, far away
For if, some day, I wander
Then, too soon, I too will wander
Far away, far away
Far away, far away, far away
Calling to your heart, and stealing
All the want away
And now I'm back in LA. I haven't seen anybody yet. But I will.