Makes me want to trade in my bike!!
OMG is 05 season and all the new bikes are coming out. What does that mean?? All the little biker guys are showing the latest and greatest. With each bike shown there are some people out there, most people, saying. Wow makes me want to trade in my, fill in bike name here, for that bike. BLA BLA BLA. Why can’t people be satisfied with what they have. Why do people always have to try to get the latest and greatest, best on the market, fasty, fasty, go vroom louder and nicer then before. I think I’m slowly starting to get over it. To be honest I still want a bike. I’ve wanted a bike since I was 3 years old when my dad would take me out on his chopper and I still want one now. My own personal goals will not change due to the people I hang out with. I was never much for the “in” crowd. I ran away from it ever chance I got during my grade school years and during college I stay away from it as well. It’s funny how everywhere you go if you are a beautiful person you are expected to hang out with other beautiful people. Oh and I’m loving the “why haven’t you posed for socal babe’s” BAAAA. I pose for no one but myself. In the mirror checking out my “if I didn’t have this layer of fat over my body (as all woman do its nature people get over it) then you could se my muscles better” muscles.
Wow I’ve totally gotten off onto a tangent. But I guess this is where I should have started in the first place. Here I am in the beginning stages of an eating disorder and I’m still worried about how I look. I guess the point that I’m trying to make is that which Bynner has made so often. Be happy with yourself and what you have. Stop trying to look for outside things to change you and stop trying to be whom you are not.
Ahh, like a typical human I am still going to be doing my fast this weekend and I’m still going to work out a lot today and next week in hopes that I loose a little more fat. It’s a sad thing really. One so centered around something as silly as looks. At least my friend have something tangible to obsess about. I’m obsessing about my looks. Urg. Not that I don’t feel that I’m pretty. Its just being a personal trainer you are expected to look a certain way and I don’t fell as though I do. I fell as though I’m failing in this. I’ll get over it I think. That and my friend is starting a clothing line Syndicate (I think that’s how he is spelling it) anyways, he’s all “oh you need to wear my clothing cuz you’re my friend.” Then he’s all “I’m going to need some fine looking receptionist for my shop, do you know any?” urgg. Why is this work so stuck on perfection. Why cant they just let things be. And how dear they say what perfection is. Who gives them the right.
If I were to go to an native tribe they would tell me I’m perfect cuz I’ve got them berthing hips and I’m relatively healthy.. that’s right according to African, Australian and American “natives” I’m perfect. So there.
But on the plus side I’ve decided that I don’t have to go around naked this Halloween. I’m going to actually have clothes on this year. Maybe. . . after all one cant change completely.
Perhaps I’ll be a Native American. A little Peruvian Incan GODDES (mark if you say princess I’ll kick you in the ding ding)
Wow I’ve totally gotten off onto a tangent. But I guess this is where I should have started in the first place. Here I am in the beginning stages of an eating disorder and I’m still worried about how I look. I guess the point that I’m trying to make is that which Bynner has made so often. Be happy with yourself and what you have. Stop trying to look for outside things to change you and stop trying to be whom you are not.
Ahh, like a typical human I am still going to be doing my fast this weekend and I’m still going to work out a lot today and next week in hopes that I loose a little more fat. It’s a sad thing really. One so centered around something as silly as looks. At least my friend have something tangible to obsess about. I’m obsessing about my looks. Urg. Not that I don’t feel that I’m pretty. Its just being a personal trainer you are expected to look a certain way and I don’t fell as though I do. I fell as though I’m failing in this. I’ll get over it I think. That and my friend is starting a clothing line Syndicate (I think that’s how he is spelling it) anyways, he’s all “oh you need to wear my clothing cuz you’re my friend.” Then he’s all “I’m going to need some fine looking receptionist for my shop, do you know any?” urgg. Why is this work so stuck on perfection. Why cant they just let things be. And how dear they say what perfection is. Who gives them the right.
If I were to go to an native tribe they would tell me I’m perfect cuz I’ve got them berthing hips and I’m relatively healthy.. that’s right according to African, Australian and American “natives” I’m perfect. So there.
But on the plus side I’ve decided that I don’t have to go around naked this Halloween. I’m going to actually have clothes on this year. Maybe. . . after all one cant change completely.
Perhaps I’ll be a Native American. A little Peruvian Incan GODDES (mark if you say princess I’ll kick you in the ding ding)