(no subject)
Tomorrow i go to take my GED placement test.havent heard from josh since friday...i feel lonely.really badly.i wanna call josh.but im to afraid to.dumb i know.i dont wanna disturbed him.whats the point in calling anyways?hed probably tell me he cant talk and then id get emotional.ive started getting the feeling im maybe..3rd in his life....i know the first thing in his life will be his job.whatever the hell that is.but my god.im supposdly the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with yet he puts his parents before me..i know this is dumb but.ugh.
and that comment his mom made still fuckin hurt.i dunno why i cant let that go.but still.i mean josh says his parents like me.that they LOVE me but she tells me something like that?yea right what the hell am i gunna belive?.im stressed.beyond belief.
and i have NO ONE to talk to that really understands anything.i mean i have recoveryourlife for the support on emotional stress and trying not to cut to cope anymore.but the other stuff.i feel totally alone.
ya know its sad.i should be used to this stuff.for the last three years 6 months me and josh have had a long distance relationship.for the first two we never got to see eachother in person.and for the first one we didnt get to talk on phone AT ALL.so this navy thing shouldnt be much different...i guess i'll try and call him later.to at least see if his cough is any better.
guess i'll call around 9 somethin here.gah i swear i hate the time zones.i think its bad now and hes in Greatlakes....i hate to imagine how it will be should he get sent to Italy for his first duty station..hell i guess i could forget talking at all then.or ugh i dunno.anyways
havin more bullshit goin on between my friend jen and this guy she knows jeff.
i really hope she does report him to the cops or something.cause he is just....this stuff he tells her pisses me off but then he goes to me and tries to act nice and shit.like he hasnt done a damn thing.
anyways im not even gunna get started on that.it will just make me mad.
well peace
<3 Amber
and that comment his mom made still fuckin hurt.i dunno why i cant let that go.but still.i mean josh says his parents like me.that they LOVE me but she tells me something like that?yea right what the hell am i gunna belive?.im stressed.beyond belief.
and i have NO ONE to talk to that really understands anything.i mean i have recoveryourlife for the support on emotional stress and trying not to cut to cope anymore.but the other stuff.i feel totally alone.
ya know its sad.i should be used to this stuff.for the last three years 6 months me and josh have had a long distance relationship.for the first two we never got to see eachother in person.and for the first one we didnt get to talk on phone AT ALL.so this navy thing shouldnt be much different...i guess i'll try and call him later.to at least see if his cough is any better.
guess i'll call around 9 somethin here.gah i swear i hate the time zones.i think its bad now and hes in Greatlakes....i hate to imagine how it will be should he get sent to Italy for his first duty station..hell i guess i could forget talking at all then.or ugh i dunno.anyways
havin more bullshit goin on between my friend jen and this guy she knows jeff.
i really hope she does report him to the cops or something.cause he is just....this stuff he tells her pisses me off but then he goes to me and tries to act nice and shit.like he hasnt done a damn thing.
anyways im not even gunna get started on that.it will just make me mad.
well peace
<3 Amber