(no subject)
Got this from the aerospaceengnr group, way to funny...
I've been told that when you hear some engineers speak you need to be ready to interpret. Here's some common definitions...
"A number of different approaches are being tried."
(We are still grasping at straws.)
"We're working on a fresh approach to the problem."
(We just hired three kids fresh out of college.)
"Close project coordination."
(We know who to blame.)
"Major technological break through."
(It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.)
"Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured."
(We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.)
"Preliminary operational tests were inconclusive."
(It blew up when we threw the switch.)
"Test results were extremely gratifying."
(We are so surprised that it works.)
"The entire concept will have to be abandoned."
(The only person who understood the project quit.)
"It is in process."
(It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.)
"We'll look into it."
(Forget it! We have enough problems for now.)
"Please read and initial."
(Let's spread the responsibility for the mistake.)
"Give us the benefit of your thoughts."
(We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.)
"Give us your interpretation."
(I can't wait to hear this!)
"See me," or "Let's Discuss."
(Come into my office, I'm lonely.)
"All new!"
(Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.)
"Rugged."
(Too heavy to lift!)
"Lightweight."
(Lighter than rugged.)
"Years of development."
(One finally worked.)
"Energy saving."
(Achieved when the power switch is off.)
"No maintenance."
(Impossible to fix if broken.)