(no subject)

[girlzmakegraves]

Whats the point of all of this? thats the trillion dollar question. I mean, sure we all play intrical roles as small, but necessary parts of the quote un-quote big picture, but we lack any sense of self-purpose. I dont know, maybe its just me, but I really feel that I, as well as nearly everyone else who breathes this contaminated air, and lives on this rock, will only ever truly amount to being just another nameless face amongst the mindless masses. Within two generations after our deaths, our names will be forgotten. Is this all there is? why should we work so hard to get nowhere? This is going to sound ridiculously arrogant, but it some weird fucked up way I really feel that Im meant for something more than this. Something more than living just to put food on my plate. Something memorable. And yet, I doubt that to the nth degree. But in the back of my mind, buried under all of the rest of the garbage, and cartoons in there, it's embedded itself and wont let go. Maybe its just one of the body's failsafe systems to keep people from destroying themselves. But until/unless that point comes, I'm going to remain without any sense of purpose, nothing to strive towards, nothing substantial to deal with. And by that logic whats the point to being alive without purpose, if you're not having fun. I'm bored. I wish I was religious.
(no this does not mean what most of you are probably thinking)

"if I have no soul to touch
no heart to love
no evil to rise up above
no angels and no ghosts
no real victories to toast
if you believe that this is true
then I must ask
to what end do you proceed"

"Suffering from something we're not sure of
In a world there is no cure for
These lives we live test negative for happiness
Flat line, no pulse, but eyes open
Single file like soldiers on a mission
If theres no war outside our heads
Why are we losing?"

p.s. sorry to anyone who reads this, that my only entry in a long time is super emoed out.
p.p.s. this has nothing to do with melissa, I love her alot, if anything she's like my flashlight on a dark and gloomy night...worst analogy ever.