Reflections and Such (aka probably a really long post)
Let's see...where to start. The past year...rather uneventful in the sense of "omg drama!" There were the usual ups and downs with family and friends. My father and I got into our first physical altercation of the year around June-ish which resulted in him slugging me and him throwing a remote at my head (which I threw back and busted into 16 pieces) and me psychologically mangling him for a bit. That little spat ended when I found out I got accepted into graduate school and then we were ok again and have been really ok since that point. Uhm, nothing major with mom. My aunt and I had a falling out that was repaired when she needed me at my Great Aunt's funeral.
That is perhaps the biggest event of this year. My Great Aunt Bessie M. Bolton passed away on December 31, 2008. She was 100 years old. She was born in October of 1908. Its amazing to just think of all the things she had seen in her lifetime. My father had tried to push me to go see her the weekend before she passed away, but I didn't. Part of me (a very small part) feels guilty, but I didn't want to see her at the very end. She had Alzheimer's Dementia and it was entering into its latter/final stages. At that point she was no longer the woman that I had known. I wanted my last memories of her to be of when we were in her kicthen preparing food and at the nursing home when we would sit and do needlepoint. I didn't want to know/remember her as a person who had lost almost all prefrontal cognitive functioning. The services were held on January 3rd. I didn't stay for the funeral. I stayed throughout the viewing and kept people smiling and laughing about things she used to say and do. I firmly believe that you should celebrate the honor of knowing someone and while you acknowledge that you will mourn the loss of a friend/family member, try to remember the good and not focus on the death. My uncle called me to thank me for that after the funeral was over, saying that Bessie's grandson had taken my words to heart. (That makes me feel a little better).
The first semester of school was nerve-wracking. At the end of it I had 2 A's and 2 B's (not great but not horrible either. This semester I want all A's). My advising professor met with me before break and we discussed some of my weaknesses and strengths. She nixed my idea for my thesis due to inability to find participants. (I wanted to do something about smokers using Incentive Sensitization and seeing if Cognitive Outcome Expectancies mapped onto a notion of the I-S theory) There is a heavy blanket of social desiribility on this campus in the form of not admitting bad habits outloud (ie: smoking, drinking, etc). Therefore, participants are difficult to find. Which sucks...so now I'm altering that to caffiene and seeing if I can come up with something similar. (Wish me luck).
Justin came down for New Year's. (For those of you who don't know...yes I met him online, no I hadn't met him before) To give you an idea of how it went...well...is going...he hasn't left yet. -grin-. I gave up a lot to give Justin and I a chance. I had to release my heart's grip on someone. That person will always hold a special piece of my heart...no one gets it but them. But, I'm happy...happier than I have been in a LONG time and I owe that to Justin being in my life. He keeps me grounded and mellow. Do I love him? -shakes magic 8 ball- "All signs point to yes" hehe.
Hrmmmm, future stuff now I guess. This semester is starting off much more smoothly than last semester. I feel recharged, excited and I really can't wait to see what happens. More later.
That is perhaps the biggest event of this year. My Great Aunt Bessie M. Bolton passed away on December 31, 2008. She was 100 years old. She was born in October of 1908. Its amazing to just think of all the things she had seen in her lifetime. My father had tried to push me to go see her the weekend before she passed away, but I didn't. Part of me (a very small part) feels guilty, but I didn't want to see her at the very end. She had Alzheimer's Dementia and it was entering into its latter/final stages. At that point she was no longer the woman that I had known. I wanted my last memories of her to be of when we were in her kicthen preparing food and at the nursing home when we would sit and do needlepoint. I didn't want to know/remember her as a person who had lost almost all prefrontal cognitive functioning. The services were held on January 3rd. I didn't stay for the funeral. I stayed throughout the viewing and kept people smiling and laughing about things she used to say and do. I firmly believe that you should celebrate the honor of knowing someone and while you acknowledge that you will mourn the loss of a friend/family member, try to remember the good and not focus on the death. My uncle called me to thank me for that after the funeral was over, saying that Bessie's grandson had taken my words to heart. (That makes me feel a little better).
The first semester of school was nerve-wracking. At the end of it I had 2 A's and 2 B's (not great but not horrible either. This semester I want all A's). My advising professor met with me before break and we discussed some of my weaknesses and strengths. She nixed my idea for my thesis due to inability to find participants. (I wanted to do something about smokers using Incentive Sensitization and seeing if Cognitive Outcome Expectancies mapped onto a notion of the I-S theory) There is a heavy blanket of social desiribility on this campus in the form of not admitting bad habits outloud (ie: smoking, drinking, etc). Therefore, participants are difficult to find. Which sucks...so now I'm altering that to caffiene and seeing if I can come up with something similar. (Wish me luck).
Justin came down for New Year's. (For those of you who don't know...yes I met him online, no I hadn't met him before) To give you an idea of how it went...well...is going...he hasn't left yet. -grin-. I gave up a lot to give Justin and I a chance. I had to release my heart's grip on someone. That person will always hold a special piece of my heart...no one gets it but them. But, I'm happy...happier than I have been in a LONG time and I owe that to Justin being in my life. He keeps me grounded and mellow. Do I love him? -shakes magic 8 ball- "All signs point to yes" hehe.
Hrmmmm, future stuff now I guess. This semester is starting off much more smoothly than last semester. I feel recharged, excited and I really can't wait to see what happens. More later.