Fic: The Dins of the Fathers, Chapter 7
The Dins of the Fathers, Chapter 7: "That thing is a light saber," the Sith Lord hissed, his mask fogging up with fury, "The weapon of a Jedi Knight. You, John Winchester, are not a Jedi Knight!"
"Hey, can this thing kill demons?" John asked, holding the weapon at arm's length.
Disclaimer: I don't own and didn't create these characters.
Chapter 7-
Sheer panic swept through John. Of all the supernatural creatures and demonic forces he'd faced in his lifetime, he'd never encountered a foe quite like this. Now, with Sam and Dean in mortal danger, he was about to have the life squeezed out of him by this... Wait a minute! What life? He was dead! What harm could this faceless asthmatic douche bag possibly do to him!
"Paws off the merchandise, buster!" he growled, giving the masked man a series of swift kicks to the groin and gut as he wrenched himself free.
"AARRGH!" the man howled, adjusting the armor at his crotch, "Insolent fool! No one enters Skywalker Manor without my consent..."
"This is the sewer!" John stated.
"Your point being?" the man spat back.
"Let him pass, Anakin!" Dr. Jones had climbed down into the sewer and now stood by John's side, "He's on a noble mission to save his boys!"
"You will address me as Lord Vader..." the man began, extending an index finger towards the Professor's face.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Dr. Jones rolled his eyes, pushing the gloved hand away, "Let's go, John!"
"It's dark down here," John griped, "Can barely see two feet in front of me!"
Then he noticed the cylinder shaped object at Lord Douche Bag's belt.
"Gimme that flashlight!" John demanded, snatching the object away.
"That is not a flashlight!" Vader bellowed.
John gasped as a long beam of glowing red light shot forth from the cylinder and he instantly felt a powerful force thrumming through his arm. Mesmerized, he turned the device this way and that, watching as the blade of pure energy sliced through the air making an eerie humming sound with each pass.
"What is this thing?" he asked in awe.
"That thing is a light saber," the Sith Lord hissed, his mask fogging up with fury, "The weapon of a Jedi Knight. You, John Winchester, are not a Jedi Knight!"
"Hey, can this thing kill demons?" John asked, holding the weapon at arm's length.
"I believe you need the Colt for that," Vader said mockingly, "You know. That thing you just handed over to your mortal enemy?"
"Shut up!" John barked with enough fervor to send a tremor through the Sith Lord's cape, "I'm going deep into the heart of Hell, heading for the Devil's Gate. And I'm taking this overblown flashlight of yours with me! Got that?"
"Very well," Vader said sullenly, "Just be careful with it, Winchester. You wouldn't want to accidentally slice off one of your sons' hands with it like I did."
"Accidentally! BAH!" Dr. Jones snorted, "Go pull the other one, Anakin! Just like you 'accidentally' blew up your daughter's home planet. Exactly why do you think you wound up spending your Afterlife in the sewer?"
"Oh, come off it, Henry! Hasn't your son made any spectacular archeological discoveries lately that you could be ignoring him for?"
"Never you mind all that," Dr. Jones said tersely, "You know this place better than the rest of us. Now kindly point us in the direction of the Devil's Gate!"
"Two corridors down and then take another left," Vader folded his arms and leaned back against the sewer wall like a sulking child, "There's a vent where the scent of burning flesh and the screams of the damned are particularly strong. I like to sit there sometimes and listen to sounds of torment. Reminds me of the good old days when I actually commanded a little respect."
"Fine. You'll get this back when I say you get it back," John said, jostling the light saber in his hand, "Follow me everyone!"
He held the glowing weapon aloft using it to light his way down the darkened corridors as Dr. Jones and the others trailed closely behind him.
"Excuse us, Lord Vader," Sanford and Bundy muttered as they brushed past the towering figure.
"Excuse me, Mr. Burns," Simpson said meekly passing by.
"Yo, Ani!" Torrance called out as he strutted down the hall with his axe resting casually against his shoulder, "We still on for Poker Saturday?"
"I suppose..." Vader sighed, keeping his arms folded in a petulant sulk.
"Solid!" Torrance pumped his fist, before colliding into Simpson who had stopped abruptly as the other men reached the vent.
John let the light saber's blade retract as the area where they now stood was sufficiently illuminated with Hell Fire. A scorching heat was emanating from the vent as was the stench of burning human flesh.
"Mmm... Barbeque..." Simpson uttered as John carefully removed the vent's covering.
The men peered over John's shoulder taking in the view that lay before them. A lake of molten lava twisted and turned like a serpent through a trail of jagged stalagmites. A slim stone bridge hung over the fiery lake, branching off in several different directions. Most of the paths lead into deep caves, from which could be heard the echoing cries of tortured souls much less fortunate than them. But the center path led straight to a set of solid metal doors.
"There it is," John said quietly, "The Devil's Gate."
Dr. Jones swallowed hard, surveying the scene. There was a multitude of billowing black clouds occasionally shifting into humanoid form as they danced about Gate.
"What are they, John?" he asked.
"Demons. Hundreds of them. And we'll have to fight our way through the whole mess of them."
"But how?" Bundy whined, "There's so many of them and they're all glommed up on one another. It'll be like trying to fight our way through a blue light special at K-Mart on Senior Citizen Day when they bused in all the bitties from the Old Folks' Home!"
John frowned, shaking his head thoughtfully. Then he reached for the cross Dr. Jones had brought and a bottle of water.
"What do you have in mind?" the Professor asked.
"Everybody hand me your weapons," John ordered as he said a quick blessing over the water and then poured the liquid over their meager arsenal, "This won't kill the Demons, but it might hold them off long enough for me to get to the Gate. If I'm close enough when it opens, I should be able to pass on through and get to Sam and Dean."
"Yeah, then what?" Torrance asked with an air of boredom as he twirled his newly consecrated axe.
"Let me worry about 'then what'," John snapped, "You just worry about keeping those demons off my back!"
"Well, aye aye, Captain," Torrance huffed giving John a one fingered salute.
"Just think about what a great novel this will make when it's all over," Dr. Jones rolled his eyes, "Might even be a best seller!"
"Hey yeah!" Torrance's eyes lit up with insane delight, "Maybe even a Pulitzer! Look out Demons! HEEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY!"
Axe raised he charged onto the bridge and straight into the hoard of Demons.
The other men shrugged and then followed suit howling battle cries of their own. And then the melee commenced.
Demons swarmed upon the tiny band of misfit fathers who brandished their weapons as if they were born soldiers.
Sanford held back at the entrance way, retrieving one iron arrow after another from his suspenders and sending them sailing into the Demonic forms closest to the Gate.
"He's coming, Elizabeth!" the old man taunted, impaling one Demon against a stalagmite before whipping around to skewer another, "So are you, Ugly!"
Bundy meanwhile trotted down the center of the bridge slinging shoes by their strings one by one like a middle-aged David against a sea of Goliaths, all the while chanting the mantra of: "That's Peg! That's Peg! That one there! That's Peg too!"
Simpson brought up the rear, dispatching Demons left and right with a set of mad Kung Fu skills that surprised and impressed the other men, especially John.
"That's Flanders!" he shouted, "That's Flanders! Yeah, you too, you're Flanders! Take that Flanders! HA HA HA!"
John and Dr. Jones fought back to back, swinging sword and saber respectively as they made their way closer and closer to the Devil's Gate.
Suddenly there was a thunderous clanking sound that actually drowned out the dins of the tortured souls, the demons and the fathers who fought them. All heads turned to see the metal doors of the Gate creaking open, sending in a gush of fresh air from the Outer World. A bone chilling cheer of triumph erupted from the Demonic hoard as hundreds of black forms rushed for the exit.
"Now John!" Dr. Jones screamed, desperate to be heard over the cacophony of Demons soaring past him and into the night, "Now's your chance! Go!"
John started forward but was instantly halted as a sinister plume of black smoke curled its way around his ankles and up the length of his body to rest at his shoulders. He felt the shape around him shift into the form of a lithe woman, her arms and legs wrapped around him in a parody of seduction. He didn't have to turn to see demon's form. He recognized the sultry voice at once.
"Hello again, Johnny," the demon purred in his ear.
"Meg," he grunted, struggling in the girl's grasp.
"Oh, Johnny!" the She-Demon giggled, "You remember. I'm so glad you could stop by in time for the show. My Daddy's about to slaughter your precious little boys. And you get to stand here and watch it all go down."
All at once there was another presence behind Meg, a gloved hand reaching out and clamping down on her collar bone.
"He doesn't need to watch it all go down," a deep voice spoke.
"You don't need to watch it all go down," Meg parroted robotically.
"He can go about his business," the voice intoned.
"You can go about your business," Meg said climbing down from John.
"Move along!" the voice said at last.
"Move along!" Meg chirped, skipping merrily towards the Lake of Fire.
John looked up in awe to see the Sith Lord standing before him with his hands on his hips.
"P.S. These aren't the droids you're looking for." he quipped.
"I… I was looking for droids…?" Meg uttered in confusion before tripping backwards into the Pit.
John continued to stare speechless at his unlikely savior.
"I got lonely," the Sith Lord shrugged.
"And maybe you were missing this," John said humbly, returning the weapon in his hands, "Your light saber, Lord Vader!"
"Thank you!" the masked man nodded, "Call me, Anakin!"
"Hurry John!" Dr. Jones urged, holding one of the doors at bay as Simpson and Bundy flattened their backs against the other, "There's someone on the outside pushing the doors closed!"
John didn't have to be told twice. He took a running start, charging forward into night.
"Hang on, Boys! I'm on my way!"
Continued in Chapter 8
"Hey, can this thing kill demons?" John asked, holding the weapon at arm's length.
Disclaimer: I don't own and didn't create these characters.
Chapter 7-
Sheer panic swept through John. Of all the supernatural creatures and demonic forces he'd faced in his lifetime, he'd never encountered a foe quite like this. Now, with Sam and Dean in mortal danger, he was about to have the life squeezed out of him by this... Wait a minute! What life? He was dead! What harm could this faceless asthmatic douche bag possibly do to him!
"Paws off the merchandise, buster!" he growled, giving the masked man a series of swift kicks to the groin and gut as he wrenched himself free.
"AARRGH!" the man howled, adjusting the armor at his crotch, "Insolent fool! No one enters Skywalker Manor without my consent..."
"This is the sewer!" John stated.
"Your point being?" the man spat back.
"Let him pass, Anakin!" Dr. Jones had climbed down into the sewer and now stood by John's side, "He's on a noble mission to save his boys!"
"You will address me as Lord Vader..." the man began, extending an index finger towards the Professor's face.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Dr. Jones rolled his eyes, pushing the gloved hand away, "Let's go, John!"
"It's dark down here," John griped, "Can barely see two feet in front of me!"
Then he noticed the cylinder shaped object at Lord Douche Bag's belt.
"Gimme that flashlight!" John demanded, snatching the object away.
"That is not a flashlight!" Vader bellowed.
John gasped as a long beam of glowing red light shot forth from the cylinder and he instantly felt a powerful force thrumming through his arm. Mesmerized, he turned the device this way and that, watching as the blade of pure energy sliced through the air making an eerie humming sound with each pass.
"What is this thing?" he asked in awe.
"That thing is a light saber," the Sith Lord hissed, his mask fogging up with fury, "The weapon of a Jedi Knight. You, John Winchester, are not a Jedi Knight!"
"Hey, can this thing kill demons?" John asked, holding the weapon at arm's length.
"I believe you need the Colt for that," Vader said mockingly, "You know. That thing you just handed over to your mortal enemy?"
"Shut up!" John barked with enough fervor to send a tremor through the Sith Lord's cape, "I'm going deep into the heart of Hell, heading for the Devil's Gate. And I'm taking this overblown flashlight of yours with me! Got that?"
"Very well," Vader said sullenly, "Just be careful with it, Winchester. You wouldn't want to accidentally slice off one of your sons' hands with it like I did."
"Accidentally! BAH!" Dr. Jones snorted, "Go pull the other one, Anakin! Just like you 'accidentally' blew up your daughter's home planet. Exactly why do you think you wound up spending your Afterlife in the sewer?"
"Oh, come off it, Henry! Hasn't your son made any spectacular archeological discoveries lately that you could be ignoring him for?"
"Never you mind all that," Dr. Jones said tersely, "You know this place better than the rest of us. Now kindly point us in the direction of the Devil's Gate!"
"Two corridors down and then take another left," Vader folded his arms and leaned back against the sewer wall like a sulking child, "There's a vent where the scent of burning flesh and the screams of the damned are particularly strong. I like to sit there sometimes and listen to sounds of torment. Reminds me of the good old days when I actually commanded a little respect."
"Fine. You'll get this back when I say you get it back," John said, jostling the light saber in his hand, "Follow me everyone!"
He held the glowing weapon aloft using it to light his way down the darkened corridors as Dr. Jones and the others trailed closely behind him.
"Excuse us, Lord Vader," Sanford and Bundy muttered as they brushed past the towering figure.
"Excuse me, Mr. Burns," Simpson said meekly passing by.
"Yo, Ani!" Torrance called out as he strutted down the hall with his axe resting casually against his shoulder, "We still on for Poker Saturday?"
"I suppose..." Vader sighed, keeping his arms folded in a petulant sulk.
"Solid!" Torrance pumped his fist, before colliding into Simpson who had stopped abruptly as the other men reached the vent.
John let the light saber's blade retract as the area where they now stood was sufficiently illuminated with Hell Fire. A scorching heat was emanating from the vent as was the stench of burning human flesh.
"Mmm... Barbeque..." Simpson uttered as John carefully removed the vent's covering.
The men peered over John's shoulder taking in the view that lay before them. A lake of molten lava twisted and turned like a serpent through a trail of jagged stalagmites. A slim stone bridge hung over the fiery lake, branching off in several different directions. Most of the paths lead into deep caves, from which could be heard the echoing cries of tortured souls much less fortunate than them. But the center path led straight to a set of solid metal doors.
"There it is," John said quietly, "The Devil's Gate."
Dr. Jones swallowed hard, surveying the scene. There was a multitude of billowing black clouds occasionally shifting into humanoid form as they danced about Gate.
"What are they, John?" he asked.
"Demons. Hundreds of them. And we'll have to fight our way through the whole mess of them."
"But how?" Bundy whined, "There's so many of them and they're all glommed up on one another. It'll be like trying to fight our way through a blue light special at K-Mart on Senior Citizen Day when they bused in all the bitties from the Old Folks' Home!"
John frowned, shaking his head thoughtfully. Then he reached for the cross Dr. Jones had brought and a bottle of water.
"What do you have in mind?" the Professor asked.
"Everybody hand me your weapons," John ordered as he said a quick blessing over the water and then poured the liquid over their meager arsenal, "This won't kill the Demons, but it might hold them off long enough for me to get to the Gate. If I'm close enough when it opens, I should be able to pass on through and get to Sam and Dean."
"Yeah, then what?" Torrance asked with an air of boredom as he twirled his newly consecrated axe.
"Let me worry about 'then what'," John snapped, "You just worry about keeping those demons off my back!"
"Well, aye aye, Captain," Torrance huffed giving John a one fingered salute.
"Just think about what a great novel this will make when it's all over," Dr. Jones rolled his eyes, "Might even be a best seller!"
"Hey yeah!" Torrance's eyes lit up with insane delight, "Maybe even a Pulitzer! Look out Demons! HEEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY!"
Axe raised he charged onto the bridge and straight into the hoard of Demons.
The other men shrugged and then followed suit howling battle cries of their own. And then the melee commenced.
Demons swarmed upon the tiny band of misfit fathers who brandished their weapons as if they were born soldiers.
Sanford held back at the entrance way, retrieving one iron arrow after another from his suspenders and sending them sailing into the Demonic forms closest to the Gate.
"He's coming, Elizabeth!" the old man taunted, impaling one Demon against a stalagmite before whipping around to skewer another, "So are you, Ugly!"
Bundy meanwhile trotted down the center of the bridge slinging shoes by their strings one by one like a middle-aged David against a sea of Goliaths, all the while chanting the mantra of: "That's Peg! That's Peg! That one there! That's Peg too!"
Simpson brought up the rear, dispatching Demons left and right with a set of mad Kung Fu skills that surprised and impressed the other men, especially John.
"That's Flanders!" he shouted, "That's Flanders! Yeah, you too, you're Flanders! Take that Flanders! HA HA HA!"
John and Dr. Jones fought back to back, swinging sword and saber respectively as they made their way closer and closer to the Devil's Gate.
Suddenly there was a thunderous clanking sound that actually drowned out the dins of the tortured souls, the demons and the fathers who fought them. All heads turned to see the metal doors of the Gate creaking open, sending in a gush of fresh air from the Outer World. A bone chilling cheer of triumph erupted from the Demonic hoard as hundreds of black forms rushed for the exit.
"Now John!" Dr. Jones screamed, desperate to be heard over the cacophony of Demons soaring past him and into the night, "Now's your chance! Go!"
John started forward but was instantly halted as a sinister plume of black smoke curled its way around his ankles and up the length of his body to rest at his shoulders. He felt the shape around him shift into the form of a lithe woman, her arms and legs wrapped around him in a parody of seduction. He didn't have to turn to see demon's form. He recognized the sultry voice at once.
"Hello again, Johnny," the demon purred in his ear.
"Meg," he grunted, struggling in the girl's grasp.
"Oh, Johnny!" the She-Demon giggled, "You remember. I'm so glad you could stop by in time for the show. My Daddy's about to slaughter your precious little boys. And you get to stand here and watch it all go down."
All at once there was another presence behind Meg, a gloved hand reaching out and clamping down on her collar bone.
"He doesn't need to watch it all go down," a deep voice spoke.
"You don't need to watch it all go down," Meg parroted robotically.
"He can go about his business," the voice intoned.
"You can go about your business," Meg said climbing down from John.
"Move along!" the voice said at last.
"Move along!" Meg chirped, skipping merrily towards the Lake of Fire.
John looked up in awe to see the Sith Lord standing before him with his hands on his hips.
"P.S. These aren't the droids you're looking for." he quipped.
"I… I was looking for droids…?" Meg uttered in confusion before tripping backwards into the Pit.
John continued to stare speechless at his unlikely savior.
"I got lonely," the Sith Lord shrugged.
"And maybe you were missing this," John said humbly, returning the weapon in his hands, "Your light saber, Lord Vader!"
"Thank you!" the masked man nodded, "Call me, Anakin!"
"Hurry John!" Dr. Jones urged, holding one of the doors at bay as Simpson and Bundy flattened their backs against the other, "There's someone on the outside pushing the doors closed!"
John didn't have to be told twice. He took a running start, charging forward into night.
"Hang on, Boys! I'm on my way!"
Continued in Chapter 8