its the end of the blog and I like it
After 3-4 weeks of keeping a food/workout blog, I've decided it's not the type of blog I want to keep for the following reasons:
1. It takes too much time. How do people do this?! Between my commute, my job, my workout, and enough sleep to sustain me through the next day, I barely have any time to breathe. I'd rather use my precious little time to read others' blogs, read books, watch TV, spend time with my parents, and play computer games :P
2. I feel constrained about what to post. When did I become afraid of what people thought about me on the internet (real life is a different story, heh)? After starting to read Good Calories, Bad Calories, I've started eating a lot more fat and saturated fat (and animal products in general). That kind of diet jives a little with how most of my readers were eating. I suppose if I were secure enough, I wouldn't care what people might think (assuming they think ANYTHING, but who am I to assume I'm so important that my entries merit anyone's judgment?), but I do care. I care terribly.
3. Writing about food/workouts gets a little boring, and it's not cathartic the way navel-gazing is. Sometimes I just want to babble uncoherently (um like right now) about life woes and my wordpress gig wasn't providing me with the freedom to do so. I've been with LJ since 2000 or 2001 or something and I never feel as though I am "imposing" on anyone by making massive entries of text; nor do I feel unloved/uncreative/undeserving/un-anything if I don't receive comments or if people don't read. LJ is just for me.
With all that out of the way,
I miss jason terribly. Goodness I miss him terribly. I had a dream about him last night. I don't know how it started or how it ended or even what happened, only that it was a good dream. I haven't talked to him in so long. I haven't "really" talked to him in even longer. I miss him so much and must keep reminding myself that there is a reason why we are not seeing each other this summer.
I want school to start again. I want to see people. I want to see Jason. I want to see who will live on my floor. and yet I don't want duke either. Home is such a safe place with all the privacy and solitude I can ever want. Sometimes I want to just be graduated already. *sigh*
I am also debating med school after I graduate. I've only taken a single premed requirement (organic chemistry), so this would require 7 more classes, which I would take after I raduate from Duke. Since I'm doing a thesis, I don't want to impose any more lab classes/hard classes/GPA bombs on my schedule next semester. I'm in no rush to go to med school and I do want to take it easy for a bit after I graduate so I think this will be the best plan. This way, I'll probably graduate with a better GPA, and then have more time/energy to devote to pre-med classes/MCAT studying next year. Some schools offer post-bac pre-med programs for people who have not taken the required classes in high school. I am debating whether or not I want to do a formal program or just study up by myself... but probably the latter, which would entail my living at home and commuting daily to rutgers.
oh, I dunno
I am getting so much out of work (I intern at a small tiny biotechnology company and work in a lab all day, purifying proteins and doing assays). Sometimes I dislike it, but nobody would pay anyone anything to do something incredibly fun either now, would they?
in other news
I don't think I'm ever going to be a fast or strong runner because my shin/leg pains are back again. I still have hopes of doing the beijing marathon in October 2010 but obvi that won't happen if I start taking classes against for med school and also if I can't manage running 10mi/week without pain!
1. It takes too much time. How do people do this?! Between my commute, my job, my workout, and enough sleep to sustain me through the next day, I barely have any time to breathe. I'd rather use my precious little time to read others' blogs, read books, watch TV, spend time with my parents, and play computer games :P
2. I feel constrained about what to post. When did I become afraid of what people thought about me on the internet (real life is a different story, heh)? After starting to read Good Calories, Bad Calories, I've started eating a lot more fat and saturated fat (and animal products in general). That kind of diet jives a little with how most of my readers were eating. I suppose if I were secure enough, I wouldn't care what people might think (assuming they think ANYTHING, but who am I to assume I'm so important that my entries merit anyone's judgment?), but I do care. I care terribly.
3. Writing about food/workouts gets a little boring, and it's not cathartic the way navel-gazing is. Sometimes I just want to babble uncoherently (um like right now) about life woes and my wordpress gig wasn't providing me with the freedom to do so. I've been with LJ since 2000 or 2001 or something and I never feel as though I am "imposing" on anyone by making massive entries of text; nor do I feel unloved/uncreative/undeserving/un-anything if I don't receive comments or if people don't read. LJ is just for me.
With all that out of the way,
I miss jason terribly. Goodness I miss him terribly. I had a dream about him last night. I don't know how it started or how it ended or even what happened, only that it was a good dream. I haven't talked to him in so long. I haven't "really" talked to him in even longer. I miss him so much and must keep reminding myself that there is a reason why we are not seeing each other this summer.
I want school to start again. I want to see people. I want to see Jason. I want to see who will live on my floor. and yet I don't want duke either. Home is such a safe place with all the privacy and solitude I can ever want. Sometimes I want to just be graduated already. *sigh*
I am also debating med school after I graduate. I've only taken a single premed requirement (organic chemistry), so this would require 7 more classes, which I would take after I raduate from Duke. Since I'm doing a thesis, I don't want to impose any more lab classes/hard classes/GPA bombs on my schedule next semester. I'm in no rush to go to med school and I do want to take it easy for a bit after I graduate so I think this will be the best plan. This way, I'll probably graduate with a better GPA, and then have more time/energy to devote to pre-med classes/MCAT studying next year. Some schools offer post-bac pre-med programs for people who have not taken the required classes in high school. I am debating whether or not I want to do a formal program or just study up by myself... but probably the latter, which would entail my living at home and commuting daily to rutgers.
oh, I dunno
I am getting so much out of work (I intern at a small tiny biotechnology company and work in a lab all day, purifying proteins and doing assays). Sometimes I dislike it, but nobody would pay anyone anything to do something incredibly fun either now, would they?
in other news
I don't think I'm ever going to be a fast or strong runner because my shin/leg pains are back again. I still have hopes of doing the beijing marathon in October 2010 but obvi that won't happen if I start taking classes against for med school and also if I can't manage running 10mi/week without pain!