that annoying little voice......
So theres a new boy. And as usual that little nagging voice of fear and doubt is piping up. And there is fear. Oh yes. We both left for our classes at 10, but he has yet to get back from him. And so i am left wondering if he just had a bunch of classes together or if he's starting to rethink his statement that he likes me. I mean it's bound to happen right? Maybe I should've just kept my mouth shut. Maybe my telling him i liked him made him feel pressured into telling me the same. I mean i realize he wouldn't have said it if he didnt at least feel it, but maybe if left to his own devices he would have decided against acting on it. What if he's annoyed by me? Fucking what if's always get me. I mean, I was fine this morning. Yesterday i was on fucking cloud nine. Now my hands are shaking, my heart is racing, and i'm shivering despite being horribly warm. I think its because I'm starting to realize that I really do like him. Quite a bit. If I didn't I wouldnt have even thought about the damned what-if's. But the more you become attached to something, the more you begin to fear losing it. ok, well, back to my post to watch for him. I'm trying to relax, I don't want anyone to know how terrified and insecure i am. How pathetic. But i don't think its working. ::sigh:: I'm sure someone has noticed the fact that i keep looking up to see if person x might be him. But i can't help it. I want to see him, need to reassure myself. Reassure my fears that it's all a dream.