(no subject)
Dear Annie,
Why do you put yourself through this? Really, tell me why? You're the cause of half your problems. And the other half, that's life! So deal!
You're the one who eats the wrong things. You're the one who doesn't exercise. You're the one who doesn't curl her hair or put on make-up. If you did those things, you'd feel better! Don't you understand? Or are you just so depressed and liking the feeling, and the randomness of attention that you want to stay depressed?
Is it the attention? Because you don't have to be depressed to get attention!
Oh, I see. It isn't the attention. Is it the lack of attention? Ah, lack of attention from guys. Guys are assholes. Wait, that's not true.
Guys are not assholes - but they do have a general problem where they follow their dicks. And some guys follow their dicks more than others, and others, well, sometimes they get desperate and follow their dicks...and screw over a friendship or somesuch.
But please! Stop crying, stop moping, get up and live! Crying never accomplishes anything except making people feel bad, and making people feel bad for you! You want somebody to feel bad? They *ALREADY* feel bad. Every time you walk in the room. He's told you that. Have some strength, kid.
It's like the expectations when you play trumpet professionally. You've gotta live your life like you're playing your trumpet. You may feel like you want to spend all day curled up and crying, but it just makes it worse. It does. It really does. You don't do anything, and then you feel worse. It's hard, I know. I am you after all.
Yes, yes, you do need to cry sometimes...we all need to cry at times. But there is a time for crying, and there is a time for sucking it up. Here is where your problem lies - You used to cry too much. And now you're having a lapse. But it's an interesting lapse, because any girl would cry if something like what happened happened. (For those reading, no it wasn't rape...it wasn't as horrible as I make it seem to sound...just something that made me feel like someone was interested, and then...nothingness...the realization that it was desparation...and he feels bad...)
But it's been a while! Please don't cry. Please. It hurts. It hurts. It just hurts when I cry. I know it hurts. I know it hurts because of it. You've just got to buck up.
See, you're starting to feel better already. Or not. Come on...you have laundry, you have dishes, you have a pet store to go visit!
I know you feel like you never get any attention...but kid...no one has people falling all over them. You know how annoying that'd be?
Take a deep breath. Let it out. Relax. You are not alone. You are not the only one there. There are a ton of other people out there. I know it's hard, but you've got to be happy with yourself. Look at yourself.
You have sooooo much potential, if you just let yourself live. Dropping the weight? Not a problem. It's easy. No, it's not hard, it's easy. Eat the foods that don't make you sick, indulge very infrequently, and instead of eating chocolate - hang out with friends!
I know you grew up most of your life feeling sad and lonely. But kid, that isn't what life is. I know you spent your life wishing you could just hide all your feelings and feel nothing. But if you feel nothing, how can you feel love? How can you feel friendship? You can't when you feel nothing.
Pull yourself out of the cycle. Just pull yourself. It's easy after the first few steps. You've been taking small steps, but now you're running backwards. Don't run backwards when you've just started living!
And don't be so scared of rejection. So you've been rejected. But you haven't been rejected totally. If you want to bring it down to terms - It was an accident. Purely, and soley. Just an accident that happened between good friends. And accidents do leave their mark. Accidents DO hurt. But time heals all, as long as you let it heal...nothing happens in an instant. Please, just get up and live.
THANK GOD :}....I'm going to go back to living now. That was a long ass speech to give myself. But I needed it.