(no subject)

[girlslopex]

HELP! I feel like I am sinking fast. Depression is grabbing me. I recognize it's ugly pull... feeling blah, bored, unmotivated, crying, gravitating towards unhappy thoughts. It's been three days, so I am still hopeful that it is just going to pass and not stay! It has been a long time since my brain has gone down this numb path. I ran last night at 9:30 and tried to ignore my mind. I enjoy the meditative quality of running, especially at night. I focus on my breath and the smells of the neighborhood - quite good actually. Laundry smell, garden/flower smells, random scents. So I believe I have some control of my emotional state - I must make myself feel good things until this passes. I've noticed the very clear distinction between feeling stressed and kind of bad, and feeling depressed (for seemingly no reason). I am sure there is a reason... there are a few probably, but it is not so obvious.

Things to Do:
Find an apartment
Move to a new city/state
watch my savings dwindle
study medical terminology
get ready for anatomy part two
see mrcoat as much as possible (happy thought)
finish packing
etc...

errr. i need a flying pig.