"Yeah dude we're like legos that never quite fit".
A granola looking thirty something from upstate New York asked me the other night to come home with him after I sat on the couch tiredly strumming the strings of someone's lone guitar and discussing the stuff of life at a party. I gave my most polite, convincing nod then went and hid in your room until he got tired of waiting on the porch for me and left.
So mature of me.
I think it troubled me more that when you came to rescue me in our secret hiding place, the butterflies stayed sleeping. When I got up to say goodnight and you begged me to stay, I only stayed to respect your wish. And when you kissed me hard after our flirting asked for it, I pulled away and smiled at the floor not because I was enticed, but because it felt funny. I felt a tinge of jealousy when I saw you with the other pretty girl that was wearing my usual look of lust and confusion and I overheard you use the words on her that we never did on each other [though they sat reserved in your name for awhile]. But I'm thinking I love you more now than ever in all those alternative ways I never fathomed would creep up on us. Sometimes love enriches when the red fades. I can't be the "hardcore dick" in this thing any more with this softer framework in place.
So mature of me.
I think it troubled me more that when you came to rescue me in our secret hiding place, the butterflies stayed sleeping. When I got up to say goodnight and you begged me to stay, I only stayed to respect your wish. And when you kissed me hard after our flirting asked for it, I pulled away and smiled at the floor not because I was enticed, but because it felt funny. I felt a tinge of jealousy when I saw you with the other pretty girl that was wearing my usual look of lust and confusion and I overheard you use the words on her that we never did on each other [though they sat reserved in your name for awhile]. But I'm thinking I love you more now than ever in all those alternative ways I never fathomed would creep up on us. Sometimes love enriches when the red fades. I can't be the "hardcore dick" in this thing any more with this softer framework in place.