Something not so vauge.

[girlrudie]

Today, I registered to take 11 units this semester. I am missing one unit! Not quite a full-time student, but, if yoga is transferable, I will most definitely take it. Maybe, I'll take it either way, it's just twenty dollars a unit, and it wouldn't hurt to learn a new skill this semester

Comments

[anonymous]

You replied to my comment and yet you didn't really address anything.

You think I don't care about anyone elses' feelings? Are you kidding me? Sure, I say things to our parents, but it's not like you don't do the same, I'm just more open about it. If I'm going to say something, I'm not going to have them not hear it, I'm not going to whisper it to myself.

And defensive, yeah. THE ONLY reason I'd EVER care about anyone talking shit, is because it's fucking you. Because I do FUCKING care about you, regardless of your thickness. You see, everything I fucking do is tough love, I'm a 16 year old in charge of a family, whether you see it or not, that's the way it is. And if anything needs to be done, I have to be tough, because otherwise no one else will listen.

You are, by far, the biggest problem I have. You don't admit when you're wrong, you think you're doing everything right.

I don't know how to explain to you that this is all bigger than me, that I don 't care about myself more than I do you guys. You say I'm selfish and yet you're the one out 24/7. You're the one that pushes Riley away, you're the one that yells your lungs out when we do see you.

Don't use me as your excuse to be a bad person, I'm not doing that. I'm just saying that maybe you should grow up a bit and start seeing what's really happening around here. Because you haven't been around long enough to notice.

I complain because I am jealous of the way you get to do things, the way you say things and our parents just agree. I'm the permanent caretaker while you just relax. You have had it so easy, you get to have so many breaks, and you take advantage of the power you have, and at the same time, you just let it go to waste.

You're not actually reading what I am writing. You think I'm attacking you and that I'm just a dumb little bitch sister.

But you see, you can think all of those bad things, because I don't actually think them of you. Maybe that's why I'm crying.

Sorry, I'm not. Sorry, you can't blame all of your problems on me.

And you can express yourself, sure. But if you DIDN'T want me to read it, you wouldn't use the internet to do it. So if it means that much to you for me not to see it, get a diary.

[girlrudie]

There isn't anything else to address.

I won't admit anything? Ok.
I'm selfish. Ok.

I am not a bad person. There is no sense in you trying to use pseudo philosophy to determine that. And there is no excuses.

You don't think I have came to the realization that I am almost free to do as I please? Be serious. Just because I decided to go to a middle college, means absolutely nothing on what I can understand.

Yet, to say I don't admit anything is fucking retarded. You act like I never address my personal flaws in my own head, that's stupid. Rather, thinking I am just a lazy fat ass who deserves nothing is rather immature, think of it it's just Faythe who may or may not act upon it.

Grow up? That's another washed down realization I have already understand I need to do. Stop saying I need to do. Yeah, I understand that I have been doing that to Riley for as long as its been happening. However, clearly, I have not been home long enough for you to realize that I have become more patient with younger kids. With the exception of Bree.

A blog is a diary. I didn't care if you read it. Would you have said the same if I took the time to write it, you wouldn't read it? You obviously took the time out of your way to read these. Not saying I would.

There is difference between admitting to something, and to understand something.
Yet, both can have the same outcome: It may or may not be acted upon for a very long time.

Anyone can admit to anything, it's always been that way.

I understand what problems I harbor and how it's obviously affecting you so much.

It isn't power. It's a luxury. Everyone who has luxuries eventually gets wasteful with it.

The only way I can suggest dealing with this, is have the parentals realize that it's Taylor and Bree's turn to have the torch of certain responsibilities.