70 Questions
this is my entry in the 70 questions meme/ficathon thingy. the website is here:
http://www.moments-lost.co.uk/70q.html
the master list is here:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/nemo_gravis/100304.html
i did angel. (hee, i've always wanted to say that.)
70 Questions to Determine the Level of the Souled Vampire's Evilness, for the Peace of Mind of the Reformed Watchers' Council After Having Received News of his Recent Employment at the Law Firm Wolfram and Hart
To: watcher007@rwc.org
From: manpire@w&h_online.org
Subject: Re: Psych Evaluation
=====
G-
I've only been CEO here for a few days, but I filled out this questionnaire like you asked. I hope this proves to you that I am not evil.
1. DO YOU SNORE?
I only breathe when I'm angry.
2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
I'm a vampire. Love and violence kind of go hand in hand with us.
3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Finding out that it's all been for nothing. Cordelia on a bad hair day.
4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
I'm pretty sure that I wasn't.
5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
I haven't watched television since Bananza went off the air.
6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
I don't use straws.
7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
I have never been cute. Please amend any entry in the Watcher Diaries that indicates that I have been cute.
8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
Kind of has to be. There's this whole curse thing... you know. But it in no way makes me a eunuch.
9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black.
10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Mostly I hum. But yeah, for some reason, everyone complains if I sing anywhere else.
11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
I've jumped from some pretty high places, but never with a cord. I'm not trying to brag, but... I have.
12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
I picked up whittling in Missoula. Figurines... nothing special. Cows mostly. When I have time.
13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Used to be Tibet, but now? Probably Vegas.
14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
Not like Carson. He used to do this one bit with a turban... I'm telling you, the man could get a laugh out of anyone.
15. CAN YOU SWIM?
Yes. I think I have a pool, but I haven't used it. I don't really like going under water.
16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
I've only seen one new movie in the last six years. Something French. It was... different.
17. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
I think there are things that need defending, whether or not they are important to me personally.
18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE ROLL POP?
I've never had one. And you know this is a weird question, right?
19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
Probably. I have a photographic memory.
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
I have a private jet now. And I think I own an airline.
21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
I used to have a sister when I was human. Kathy. She was... very pretty. But Darla said she never sired anyone else, so as a vampire, yes I am an only childe.
22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
I have an electric one. They tell me it's very high tech. I haven't actually figured out how to work it yet.
23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
I enjoy it. But I only kill things that are, you know, evil.
24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
I'd like to think... well, I mean... one day I might become... and if, you know, the right girl...
Probably not.
25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I have very nice handwriting.
26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Garlic. And beestings, but I don't know if that counts anymore.
27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?
I'm not really very... I mean, I think my friends know without my having to say it.
28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
He lives in Argentina. Got a postcard yesterday.
29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
The last one I went to was Elvis and Priscilla's, and I don't remember much about it. I was drunk. I just remember staring at the buffet table and wondering how they managed to shrink all the little peanut butter and banana sandwiches. They were tiny.
30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
I don't really, you know, eat. I mean, I can... but I don't.
31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
I don't think that would be a fair assumption. Unless you're talking about Spike.
32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
Stuck to the top of the dryer. Try using Bounce dryer sheets. They're supposed to reduce static cling. I'm not convinced they actually do, but they make the clothes smell very fresh.
33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
4:36am
34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
It's just Angel.
35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
I used to live near a family of McDonalds. They had a farm. I've never tried the fast food, though.
36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR, AND WHO WERE YOU WITH?
I took my new Viper out tonight. I like to go for a drive by myself sometimes. But I wasn't brooding.
37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Showers are better for cleaning off demon gunk. Sometimes I have a shower and then soak in the tub afterwards though. My suite came with all this bath salt stuff... it's nice.
38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Met him once. Didn't like him.
39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
I... well... this is kind of private, don't you think? I mean, sure, I like to be kissed as much as anybody, but... you know, privately.
40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
I feel more comfortable in the dark. Plus I'm the dark avenger.
41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
You could say I have a blood habit. (That was a joke.)
42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Like I said, I don't really... crunchy, I guess.
43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
Yeah.
44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
I drove one once. I was drunk.
45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
Twice, but just the human ones. Fangs are a little too sensitive for it.
46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Yes. That's clever, the way it rhymes like that.
47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
I have a lot of... bad dreams. I don't sleep very well.
48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Brown? I think sometimes yellow too.
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
This is the life I've earned. I try to do good. I like helping people. But sometimes, there are things that can't be helped.
51. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?
Yes.
52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
No, but I know a guy.
53. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
I read it one weekend in 1951 and thought J.D. Salinger was a genius. Then I read it again a couple of decades later and decided it's not really that great.
54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
No. I always wanted to learn guitar.
55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
I used to be evil.
56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
Never tried it. I can iceskate though. Not like robot chipmunks on ice or anything, but I'm pretty good at hockey.
57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
I do what I have to. I wouldn't say I like it, though.
58. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
Cordy swears I do. But I don't laugh much.
59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Magic and blood are the two things that I never question.
60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
They can be. I sort of... think they're cute.
61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
I run a law firm.
62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
I don't dance. But yeah, I can. (This is just between us, right?)
63. DO YOU MAKE MANY MISTAKES?
Sometimes I think that's all I do.
64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
I only notice if it's raining. It wasn't.
65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Mink. It's really not that bad.
66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
No. Well, just the clear kind. Nail care is important. I'm not gay.
67. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KISSED?
Yes.
68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
I haven't seen the Wolfram and Hart ad yet, but I met the guy who did the voice over. I'm guessing that's the one.
69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
I have a personal tailor. I think.
70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
I'm a big fan of Manilow. Also, the Rat Pack. And Elvis. Cordelia made me a CD a while back, and that's really all I listen to. She called it "Monster Ballads." I think that's some kind of pop culture reference.
I have my reasons for accepting this job, but I'm not evil. Really.
-A
P.S. Some of these questions are a little strange. You should check your new staff for Fragsts.
.
http://www.moments-lost.co.uk/70q.html
the master list is here:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/nemo_gravis/100304.html
i did angel. (hee, i've always wanted to say that.)
70 Questions to Determine the Level of the Souled Vampire's Evilness, for the Peace of Mind of the Reformed Watchers' Council After Having Received News of his Recent Employment at the Law Firm Wolfram and Hart
To: watcher007@rwc.org
From: manpire@w&h_online.org
Subject: Re: Psych Evaluation
=====
G-
I've only been CEO here for a few days, but I filled out this questionnaire like you asked. I hope this proves to you that I am not evil.
1. DO YOU SNORE?
I only breathe when I'm angry.
2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
I'm a vampire. Love and violence kind of go hand in hand with us.
3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Finding out that it's all been for nothing. Cordelia on a bad hair day.
4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
I'm pretty sure that I wasn't.
5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY" TV?
I haven't watched television since Bananza went off the air.
6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
I don't use straws.
7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
I have never been cute. Please amend any entry in the Watcher Diaries that indicates that I have been cute.
8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
Kind of has to be. There's this whole curse thing... you know. But it in no way makes me a eunuch.
9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black.
10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Mostly I hum. But yeah, for some reason, everyone complains if I sing anywhere else.
11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
I've jumped from some pretty high places, but never with a cord. I'm not trying to brag, but... I have.
12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
I picked up whittling in Missoula. Figurines... nothing special. Cows mostly. When I have time.
13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Used to be Tibet, but now? Probably Vegas.
14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
Not like Carson. He used to do this one bit with a turban... I'm telling you, the man could get a laugh out of anyone.
15. CAN YOU SWIM?
Yes. I think I have a pool, but I haven't used it. I don't really like going under water.
16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
I've only seen one new movie in the last six years. Something French. It was... different.
17. DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
I think there are things that need defending, whether or not they are important to me personally.
18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE ROLL POP?
I've never had one. And you know this is a weird question, right?
19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
Probably. I have a photographic memory.
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
I have a private jet now. And I think I own an airline.
21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
I used to have a sister when I was human. Kathy. She was... very pretty. But Darla said she never sired anyone else, so as a vampire, yes I am an only childe.
22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
I have an electric one. They tell me it's very high tech. I haven't actually figured out how to work it yet.
23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
I enjoy it. But I only kill things that are, you know, evil.
24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
I'd like to think... well, I mean... one day I might become... and if, you know, the right girl...
Probably not.
25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I have very nice handwriting.
26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Garlic. And beestings, but I don't know if that counts anymore.
27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"?
I'm not really very... I mean, I think my friends know without my having to say it.
28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
He lives in Argentina. Got a postcard yesterday.
29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
The last one I went to was Elvis and Priscilla's, and I don't remember much about it. I was drunk. I just remember staring at the buffet table and wondering how they managed to shrink all the little peanut butter and banana sandwiches. They were tiny.
30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
I don't really, you know, eat. I mean, I can... but I don't.
31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
I don't think that would be a fair assumption. Unless you're talking about Spike.
32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
Stuck to the top of the dryer. Try using Bounce dryer sheets. They're supposed to reduce static cling. I'm not convinced they actually do, but they make the clothes smell very fresh.
33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
4:36am
34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
It's just Angel.
35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
I used to live near a family of McDonalds. They had a farm. I've never tried the fast food, though.
36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR, AND WHO WERE YOU WITH?
I took my new Viper out tonight. I like to go for a drive by myself sometimes. But I wasn't brooding.
37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Showers are better for cleaning off demon gunk. Sometimes I have a shower and then soak in the tub afterwards though. My suite came with all this bath salt stuff... it's nice.
38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Met him once. Didn't like him.
39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
I... well... this is kind of private, don't you think? I mean, sure, I like to be kissed as much as anybody, but... you know, privately.
40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
I feel more comfortable in the dark. Plus I'm the dark avenger.
41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
You could say I have a blood habit. (That was a joke.)
42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Like I said, I don't really... crunchy, I guess.
43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
Yeah.
44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
I drove one once. I was drunk.
45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
Twice, but just the human ones. Fangs are a little too sensitive for it.
46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Yes. That's clever, the way it rhymes like that.
47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
I have a lot of... bad dreams. I don't sleep very well.
48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
Brown? I think sometimes yellow too.
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
This is the life I've earned. I try to do good. I like helping people. But sometimes, there are things that can't be helped.
51. DO YOU HAVE ANY TATTOOS OR PIERCINGS?
Yes.
52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
No, but I know a guy.
53. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"?
I read it one weekend in 1951 and thought J.D. Salinger was a genius. Then I read it again a couple of decades later and decided it's not really that great.
54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
No. I always wanted to learn guitar.
55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
I used to be evil.
56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
Never tried it. I can iceskate though. Not like robot chipmunks on ice or anything, but I'm pretty good at hockey.
57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
I do what I have to. I wouldn't say I like it, though.
58. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
Cordy swears I do. But I don't laugh much.
59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
Magic and blood are the two things that I never question.
60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
They can be. I sort of... think they're cute.
61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
I run a law firm.
62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
I don't dance. But yeah, I can. (This is just between us, right?)
63. DO YOU MAKE MANY MISTAKES?
Sometimes I think that's all I do.
64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
I only notice if it's raining. It wasn't.
65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Mink. It's really not that bad.
66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
No. Well, just the clear kind. Nail care is important. I'm not gay.
67. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KISSED?
Yes.
68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
I haven't seen the Wolfram and Hart ad yet, but I met the guy who did the voice over. I'm guessing that's the one.
69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
I have a personal tailor. I think.
70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
I'm a big fan of Manilow. Also, the Rat Pack. And Elvis. Cordelia made me a CD a while back, and that's really all I listen to. She called it "Monster Ballads." I think that's some kind of pop culture reference.
I have my reasons for accepting this job, but I'm not evil. Really.
-A
P.S. Some of these questions are a little strange. You should check your new staff for Fragsts.
.