Okay....sorry about the rant
I've cooled down a bit now. I still think that switching our cable company was utterly useless and stupid, but I've calmed down a bit. Until tomorrow at least when I have to fight with the stupid thing and growl at how nothing works the way it should. Seriously, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
I really do think that I'm just stressed out right now. I am stressed out right now. I've been having problems with my loans because one of them would never take out when it was supposed to, so I got behind on that payment. Plus, I've been without a job for a while now and have pretty much run out of my money that I had squirreled away. So I had to call my loan company because they had called me saying I was late on a payment. Luckily the guy was nice and found the issue with my one loan; my bank account was entered in wrong. So he fixed it for me and now it will work like it should have been several months ago. But, I had to ask to stop my loans since I am unemployed and not making anything. So they are on a forbearance for 12 months. I'm glad that I have 12 months of not paying them right now, but I felt so awful asking for it. I felt like a failure because I can't pay for my loans. I just want to be able to do something right.
I'm also stressed due to the fact that I hardly see my boyfriend and the fact that I haven't spoken to my friends in over a week. I feel a little lonely that I have no one to talk to at night. I have Jared, which is wonderful, because at least I get to talk to him if I can't see him, but I need to talk to my friends too. Plus if I have to vent, I don't want it to be all on him. He's dealt with enough of that from me. I mean I don't want to burden anyone, but damn, I really wish I could talk to others when I feel like shit that way I don't keep dumping my shit all on one person. I kinda feel like I've just been left in the cold right now and that no one wants me around. I feel abandoned in a way. I know that the "phone works both ways" but I feel like I initiate a lot of the conversations. And I feel like I'm always the one that pushes the conversations when they fall silent. If people don't want to talk to me, then just say so, but don't leave me hanging, wondering if I'm worth the time.
I'm depressed and stressed. What a combo.
I really do think that I'm just stressed out right now. I am stressed out right now. I've been having problems with my loans because one of them would never take out when it was supposed to, so I got behind on that payment. Plus, I've been without a job for a while now and have pretty much run out of my money that I had squirreled away. So I had to call my loan company because they had called me saying I was late on a payment. Luckily the guy was nice and found the issue with my one loan; my bank account was entered in wrong. So he fixed it for me and now it will work like it should have been several months ago. But, I had to ask to stop my loans since I am unemployed and not making anything. So they are on a forbearance for 12 months. I'm glad that I have 12 months of not paying them right now, but I felt so awful asking for it. I felt like a failure because I can't pay for my loans. I just want to be able to do something right.
I'm also stressed due to the fact that I hardly see my boyfriend and the fact that I haven't spoken to my friends in over a week. I feel a little lonely that I have no one to talk to at night. I have Jared, which is wonderful, because at least I get to talk to him if I can't see him, but I need to talk to my friends too. Plus if I have to vent, I don't want it to be all on him. He's dealt with enough of that from me. I mean I don't want to burden anyone, but damn, I really wish I could talk to others when I feel like shit that way I don't keep dumping my shit all on one person. I kinda feel like I've just been left in the cold right now and that no one wants me around. I feel abandoned in a way. I know that the "phone works both ways" but I feel like I initiate a lot of the conversations. And I feel like I'm always the one that pushes the conversations when they fall silent. If people don't want to talk to me, then just say so, but don't leave me hanging, wondering if I'm worth the time.
I'm depressed and stressed. What a combo.