Booooring
Things have gotten rather stagnant lately, and it's bothering me. I'm not even sure why. I'm used to being a creature of habit and familiar comforts, but all of a sudden my brain wants new, different things. I keep trying to appease the travel bug that's crawled up my ass by telling myself that it's just three more months, three more simple months until New Orleans and Melee and Lucas and sidewalk slammers and hanging out with the best girl in the world.
I think maybe Karley's enthusiasm is rubbing off on me, honestly. I don't WANT to be sitting behind the counter of a porn store for eight hours a day, five days a week. What I WANT to do is travel and see new things and new places and take pictures of every little thing that interests me. However, to do that, I need money. Thus, the porn store job. I'm willing to take the bad with the good.
It's really hard sometimes, though. As naive and silly as it may be, I have a hope for humanity that is constantly battled with by my misanthropy and my wish that humanity as a whole would just leave me the fuck alone. I keep HOPING that people will be smart, but am constantly faced with the fact that self-accountability and common human decency has flown right the fuck out of the window. Which irks me. Then I think about it and HOW people could change but why they aren't and it gets me on this whole roll where by the time I can form a coherent, NOT-rage-fueled thought, I've thoroughly disgusted myself with the behavior of the people around me and have to hide in my room and watch NCIS and snuggle the cats until I can stand to be around people again.
I'm sure the hormones aren't helping any. And my periods are once again returning to how bad they used to be when I was younger, so that's not good either. It took me forty five minutes to get out of bed this morning. I'd hear my alarm go off, sit up, lay back down in the fetal position because of the pain and set my alarm for another half an hour forward. Seeing as I don't work tomorrow, I'm going to be sitting at home all day long with a huge glass of water, the rice baby for the aches and pains, and nothing but Dragon's Age all day long. Or if that gets boring, the first season of NCIS.
And a hot bath. Oh my yes. Hot bath to soothe the blisters that happened yesterday because of those damned shoes reminding me WHY I don't wear them all that often. Urgh.
I think maybe Karley's enthusiasm is rubbing off on me, honestly. I don't WANT to be sitting behind the counter of a porn store for eight hours a day, five days a week. What I WANT to do is travel and see new things and new places and take pictures of every little thing that interests me. However, to do that, I need money. Thus, the porn store job. I'm willing to take the bad with the good.
It's really hard sometimes, though. As naive and silly as it may be, I have a hope for humanity that is constantly battled with by my misanthropy and my wish that humanity as a whole would just leave me the fuck alone. I keep HOPING that people will be smart, but am constantly faced with the fact that self-accountability and common human decency has flown right the fuck out of the window. Which irks me. Then I think about it and HOW people could change but why they aren't and it gets me on this whole roll where by the time I can form a coherent, NOT-rage-fueled thought, I've thoroughly disgusted myself with the behavior of the people around me and have to hide in my room and watch NCIS and snuggle the cats until I can stand to be around people again.
I'm sure the hormones aren't helping any. And my periods are once again returning to how bad they used to be when I was younger, so that's not good either. It took me forty five minutes to get out of bed this morning. I'd hear my alarm go off, sit up, lay back down in the fetal position because of the pain and set my alarm for another half an hour forward. Seeing as I don't work tomorrow, I'm going to be sitting at home all day long with a huge glass of water, the rice baby for the aches and pains, and nothing but Dragon's Age all day long. Or if that gets boring, the first season of NCIS.
And a hot bath. Oh my yes. Hot bath to soothe the blisters that happened yesterday because of those damned shoes reminding me WHY I don't wear them all that often. Urgh.