(no subject)
I JUST GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I FEEL NOTHING AT ALL. AT ALL!
Phew. Wow... Well, I don't really want to update about prom/siyum/graduation/graduation parties/ my life etc. Actually, I did want to update about all of that at some point, but I missed the right time. Now it is too late and even if I were to try and write it down it would come out missing all the important and key facts. So really, all that is left is my memory of the events and some digital photographs. I mean, that sucks because I have a horrible memory. And when I look back on this livejournal which I've had for like 4 (or 3?) years, it pretty much looses all of its relevance because I've neglected to actually update about important things. I just feel weird about this journal because I read this article in New York magazine (which actually featured a girl named Xiyan, which I think some of my friends know, which is weird too. and they talked about Spoont. Double weird. Maybe not.) about how much information our generation puts on the internet. They spent some time talking about livejournal/ online journals in general. They talked about the relevance of documenting adolescences. I don't know. It made me feel like I should have dedicated even more time to this than I already did. That I could have made it into something that I didn't (considering the effort that I did put in, that seems somewhat impossible). Maybe that I gave up on it when it was the most critical. When it could have been really useful. Either way, my life, or at least high school experience has been drastically changed since I got a livejournal.
I don't know what to say. Maybe I've grown out of it. This is sad. I'll give it another go. Perhaps some updates from abroad will keep this ship afloat. Maybe I should start eating less and start updating more. Ha. Anyways, that's life. I still don't know where I'm going to college and I still am not sure I want to go to Poland/ Israel. But really, the time to make these decisions is coming to a sudden close. So I mean, congratulate me. Or not. I don't really feel like I've earned a Mazel Tov when it comes to graduating high school. Not only because I've been perpetually in the state of graduating since January 23rd, but also because high school was long. I lived it pretty much day to day, deadline to deadline. I did the work, not with graduation in mind but instead the thought of getting through it all. So, when it comes down to it, I knew obviously that I'd graduate eventually, but it wasn't some big event that I worked towards. It wasn't like practicing for your bar mitzvah but more like a birthday. You know? Or maybe you don't know. Either way, friends forever, right?
So there, I did end up updating about graduation. It was a little by accident and more vague than intended, but what can you do? Well, for starters, you can do stuff. I sort of originally wanted to address this whole issue as an open letter to Tim Kasher. You know, telling him about prom and how much he missed out. It would have been very ninth grade of me. Yeah, it's weird that I can say that. Very ninth grade of me. MOSES. It's been a loooong journey. I would still do that. Who am I kidding? I do that ALLL the time. In ninth grade I pretty much turned into the person I am today. Well, I started becoming that person. I wonder if I will stay this way through college? Only one way to find out. At the moment, however, I really don't want to think about all these college/ identity speculations and questions. And I really don't want to think about all the things I still am responsible for. Responsibilities, apparently, don't just end with high school. apparently. Anyways, enough for tonight, perhaps I will try again tomorrow... like the old days.
Phew. Wow... Well, I don't really want to update about prom/siyum/graduation/graduation parties/ my life etc. Actually, I did want to update about all of that at some point, but I missed the right time. Now it is too late and even if I were to try and write it down it would come out missing all the important and key facts. So really, all that is left is my memory of the events and some digital photographs. I mean, that sucks because I have a horrible memory. And when I look back on this livejournal which I've had for like 4 (or 3?) years, it pretty much looses all of its relevance because I've neglected to actually update about important things. I just feel weird about this journal because I read this article in New York magazine (which actually featured a girl named Xiyan, which I think some of my friends know, which is weird too. and they talked about Spoont. Double weird. Maybe not.) about how much information our generation puts on the internet. They spent some time talking about livejournal/ online journals in general. They talked about the relevance of documenting adolescences. I don't know. It made me feel like I should have dedicated even more time to this than I already did. That I could have made it into something that I didn't (considering the effort that I did put in, that seems somewhat impossible). Maybe that I gave up on it when it was the most critical. When it could have been really useful. Either way, my life, or at least high school experience has been drastically changed since I got a livejournal.
I don't know what to say. Maybe I've grown out of it. This is sad. I'll give it another go. Perhaps some updates from abroad will keep this ship afloat. Maybe I should start eating less and start updating more. Ha. Anyways, that's life. I still don't know where I'm going to college and I still am not sure I want to go to Poland/ Israel. But really, the time to make these decisions is coming to a sudden close. So I mean, congratulate me. Or not. I don't really feel like I've earned a Mazel Tov when it comes to graduating high school. Not only because I've been perpetually in the state of graduating since January 23rd, but also because high school was long. I lived it pretty much day to day, deadline to deadline. I did the work, not with graduation in mind but instead the thought of getting through it all. So, when it comes down to it, I knew obviously that I'd graduate eventually, but it wasn't some big event that I worked towards. It wasn't like practicing for your bar mitzvah but more like a birthday. You know? Or maybe you don't know. Either way, friends forever, right?
So there, I did end up updating about graduation. It was a little by accident and more vague than intended, but what can you do? Well, for starters, you can do stuff. I sort of originally wanted to address this whole issue as an open letter to Tim Kasher. You know, telling him about prom and how much he missed out. It would have been very ninth grade of me. Yeah, it's weird that I can say that. Very ninth grade of me. MOSES. It's been a loooong journey. I would still do that. Who am I kidding? I do that ALLL the time. In ninth grade I pretty much turned into the person I am today. Well, I started becoming that person. I wonder if I will stay this way through college? Only one way to find out. At the moment, however, I really don't want to think about all these college/ identity speculations and questions. And I really don't want to think about all the things I still am responsible for. Responsibilities, apparently, don't just end with high school. apparently. Anyways, enough for tonight, perhaps I will try again tomorrow... like the old days.