(no subject)
on one hand, I feel like there's nothing to say. BUT.
on the other, I feel too inebriated to say anything. (of substance.)
tried to watch a documentary on Hulu last night about the friendship between Michael Waltrip and Dale Earnhardt. I made it about seven minutes before I couldn't mash the menu button fast enough, face wet with tears.
there is a part of me that still feels so bereft. float on.
when I think about my dad, I can remember a few times where he laughed uproariously. he smiled, he joked. we were all secure in the knowledge that he was there and solid.
and then he wasn't.
he is gone.
and he is not coming back.
I'm sad. and too drunk to be doing this right now. there are things that could come down like an avalanche that I am unprepared for.
this is nothing noteworthy, and I am sorry, but I just. I don't know what else to say, but I felt like I should say SOMETHING.