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I feel like I haven't made any progress here at all. I don't have a group of friends, I'm still waking up alone, school isn't anything great at all, I'm not doing anything extra-curricular from a lack of friends and people not showing up to play ultimate anymore, and I'm just plain bored and lonely here as I realize that I can't hold a steady
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Informing someone that their problem exists whereever they go does not help them explore and discover. I think the worst thing to do is tell someone they can't escape the lonliness.
Starting at:
"And then I sit at home most nights of the week watching tv and thinking about how my life is meaningless here."
Transitioning to:
"I hear girls in my classes talking about what happened during the weekend and stuff, and I don't think that kind of repetitive life would be any less boring."
To me, Christine, these two sentences are a display of the amount of effort you put into making friends. Here's a little known fact, that I'm going to share with you guys for free: SITTING AT HOME WATCHING TV THINKING ABOUT HOW MEANINGLESS LIFE IS WILL NOT GET ANYTHING DONE, AND WILL PROBABLY NOT MAKE YOU TOO HAPPY. If you really want to make friends, you're going to have to go out and find people doing what you want to be doing... then attach yourself like a parasite until accepted. Talking to people helps, engaging in conversation will let people know things about you, which will give them a chance to see the good parts of you (don't be depressive and bitchy when meeting new people).
Maybe you guys haven't realized it yet, but college is an option. This option throws you back into a pool of your peers, and allows you to explore yourself; it forces you to discover things about you that you never knew before. Your introversion, your inability to cope with your surroudings are hindering your exploration and discovery. You're spending too much time dwelling on how different things are, not how much better you can make things. You have a world of opportunity, yet your inclinations bring you back to comfort and routine. Maybe you aren't ready to be on your own, but when do you think you will be? Do you honestly think that resuming old habits will prepare you for anything new? I can go on, if you want. I'm just going to stop because I must rotate my laundry. Let me know if you want me to finish out my thoughts on the subject.
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