The iteration, it goes on and on
Originally published at Champagne and Socks. You can comment here or there.
I know I had resigned myself to the iterative process that is my moving in. I mean of course it was going to be like this and I’m making into a bigger operation because instead of just wedging my stuff into C’s house and then slamming the door and hoping it all fits, I’m also finally dealing with (various stages of ) my past and rationalising my possessions. And consciously choosing to let go of some of my baggage. Metaphorically as well as literally. And that doesn’t happen in a weekend.
This weekend we made our most recent pilgrimage to Ikea. Cause this process is iterative. And I get that. I really really do. But that doesn’t stop me from getting annoyed with it. I can hear my mother telling me - the thing with you, Alisa, is you always want to run before you’ve learned how to walk. Which is like, yes, so? I know it’s supposed to be about the journey and not the destination but still. So we’re in Ikea, and it’s only one of many things we had scheduled for Saturday and we’ve already revamped the plan because it’s up first instead of the preplanned last item on the list. And C shepherds me to exactly the Billy bookcase section because we are familiar with this section and it is the place we are supposed to be visiting on this trip and he knows I love picking up random other (USEFUL!) stuff from Ikea. And we select the exact item I came for - Billy bookcase in white with glass doors (with flowers on them). And I also grab some nearby cane boxes to go inside for organisational purposes. We complete our prescribed mission. And I get sad. I suddenly realise that there are several more Ikea missions to come and my house is not miraculously going to be tidy and clear by the end of the weekend.
It’s silly and yet quite painful and drawn out. It makes sense that this has to be iterative - that I need to unpack everything, group and sort it, get rid of what I’m not going to keep and then figure out what storage I need. And I can’t figure that out at the beginning or even in the middle because it’s freaking iterative! Buy storage, fill storage, figure out how much more storage we still need, and then where that will go and then what it will be. Re-fucking-peat.
I think it’s because I am used to just getting stuck into a task. If it was only a matter of spending one full weekend or a week and just getting it done, I could do that. But this iteration thing is just beating me down. Because no matter what we bring home, it’s just one bookcase or one cupboard and still so many miles to go before I sleep.
Still it is what it is and C used a very effective technique to remove me from the Ikea premises - if we hurry, he tells me, we can make the Rivers shoe sale before rugby. Oh yeah, baby, that did the trick! I’d seen the sale for Rivers shoes on TV - lots of sexy me style shoes - and I’d been determined to get there this weekend. We worked out that I hadn’t bought new shoes since C and I started dating (I think maybe I bought one pair of boots for this last winter). Noone ever asks you as an indie publisher where your money comes from and noone really wants to know, as long as the deals keep coming and the potential to make a sale to you still exists. But I’ve been cutting corners in my personal budget for years now and one of those places was in buying new clothes and shoes [1] and underpants [2]. And at some point, those chickens are going to come home to roost when all your clothes and shoes wear out, which unfortunately is starting to happen to me. And in the move I’ve had to admit this and throw a bunch of falling apart shoes out which has meant I almost have no nice work shoes left [3]. So a sale seemed like an efficient and cost effective solution to my problem. And OMG it was! To be fair, a lot of the really sexy shoes in the ad were almost all gone from the store we visited (nearest to Ikea) but I got a few pairs for work and one or two nice going out ones for a very lowdown price. And why have I never tried on their shoes before? They are SO comfy! (I think I am getting old when comfort in shoes becomes a factor). It was a frenzy, I did the whole thing in the time it took C to go get a coffee and something to eat before his game. And now I’m not entirely sure whether I should have bought 37s or 36s. But oh well.
And then we had a quick detour into Officeworks where I determined I would buy nothing. And came out with a 50c hot pink Sharpie. And then, only realised last night, I should have looked for plastic slip covers for books. And then onto dropping ogf C for rugby down at the UWA foreshore and I then headed off to Elixir to meet Jonathan. We’re kinda trying to pretend we are trying a bunch of cafes outside our comfort zone, even though I think we both really just like Beautfort St. Now that I am coming up from an hour a way, it makes better time sense for J to come meet me close to where I am because we get more chatting time. That’s how we found the Sassie Cookie and we would have gone back there but we had to do this thing and so him coming out to Nedlands meant more time for the thing.
I had heard good things about Elixir. To be honest, I was disappointed. The food was excellent - I had a pesto bruschetta with avocado and bocconcini - but the coffee was disappointing. And I kinda think that it’s easier to put up with less great food ( or just have a muffin) than less than great coffee when meeting up for coffee. We’re going to have two or three cups after all. The place was very funky. And the crockery was really cool. And we found a really lovely little courtyard to sit in and talk all things publishing minutiae, as is our wont.
And that was my glorious and productive Saturday.
Sunday I executed another perfect day of pottering and reading. I fear I need many more of these to properly de-stress. Which sounds “oh so terrible” but I hate knocking back invitations to hang out with people and catch up and so on. I’m trying to balance socialising with downtime and the interesting thing is really realising how little downtime I’ve been allowing myself for the last several years. When hanging out at home two Sundays in a row seems decadent, you gotta problem. I read a large chunkc of Passage and am very nearly done. I worked a little on my cross-stitch. Watched a couple more episodes of Twin Peaks. I helped (but not well) C put together my craft cupboard - it looks lovely now but it was tricky and I think I am banned from buying a matching one. I started sorting my craft pile(s). I tried to start parting with yarn stash but I think it might just not happen. You can always use random spare yarn for all kinds of things and I’m used to having acrylic stash - like for the last 20 years - and acrylic is good for high frequency washing items. This might be an iterative task.
Which is my circle for this post. I’ve watched so many episodes of Hoarders shows and the thing I’ve learned is that the people who really overcome the illness learn to look at individual items, assess their value and cull. I’m learning to be more ruthless - in terms of most of my craft, I’m looking at not saving my most favourite fabric or yarn but using them because that was why I bought them but also because my taste will change in the next decade. And that in reducing the to finish or to do queue, even by just retiring items in it, is very very freeing - it means that in the future I can buy or create more projects to do without the baggage of items I added 5 years ago that I may not have enthusiasm for anymore. But also, and this is the important lesson, the decluttering and freeing of time is an iterative process. It has to be done constantly and regularly and I need to be ok with that. And that allows me to also say, ok, I’m not ready to part with this now but I might be next time round. And as long as I don’t do that with everything, I move past the paralysis of indecision and I get things done. Starting with the easy things - definitely keeping and definitely getting rid of - also helps.
I’m creating a work in progress pile which I’m hoping I might work on steadily in the next year with the aim of reducing and maybe even removing, by the end. I want to probably start new projects too and that feeling may increase once I’ve properly set up my craft space again. I’ll post a photo once that’s done. Surprisingly, yesterday I stumbled across several sock projects I’d entirely forgotten I’d started so I might be getting some new socks to wear much sooner than I thought.
[1] and going to the dentist. Recent experience shows that was potentially a poor decision.
[2] if you’ve heard my rant in person. My mother’s response was, well would like new underwear for your birthday?, which is sweet but not the point.
[3] apart from the boots, which featured in a recent Galactic Suburbia episode.