Do you think it's the Vitamin B?
This weekend I watched Season 1 of Pushing Daisies and the only season of Kitchen Confidential. I have now started on the Dresden Files. That makes me sound superlazy but I have also cleaned out and refolded a fair chunk of my wardrobe, done all my laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, done a food shop, read for Last Short Story, worked on the TPP taxes, made rocky road and spent a nice long time with friends last night.
I'm starting to think that I'm feeling like I'm moving out of my transition period and settling into this as my life. It's the only way I can explain why I am finally attacking a bunch of tasks that I have left untouched for 2 years. I'm finally actually unpacking properly and moving into my house. I'm running a proper kitchen (this week at least) where I actually bake and cook cause I feel like it and want to, not because I think I should. I'm sorting the TPP finance spreadsheets and taxes and just looking at the cold hard balances on each project rather than the back of the envelope ones. I'm tidying up and actually getting and then being sorted rather than just talking about it.
It's like all this time I've been faking it and now I just *am* it. Hard to explain but like, I want to be the kind of person who doesn't arrive at people's houses with my hands empty. Up till now I've kind of had to make myself do that but last night I did it because I wanted to and it just happened. There was no "I should". And there are less "I shoulds" these days than there have been.
And best of all, I finally have the headspace to watch movies - it's been weird not being able to watch film and not being able to explain why not.
I'm not faking it anymore. And it feels really good. (Also my house and life are much neater and getting far more organised and functional.)
I'm starting to think that I'm feeling like I'm moving out of my transition period and settling into this as my life. It's the only way I can explain why I am finally attacking a bunch of tasks that I have left untouched for 2 years. I'm finally actually unpacking properly and moving into my house. I'm running a proper kitchen (this week at least) where I actually bake and cook cause I feel like it and want to, not because I think I should. I'm sorting the TPP finance spreadsheets and taxes and just looking at the cold hard balances on each project rather than the back of the envelope ones. I'm tidying up and actually getting and then being sorted rather than just talking about it.
It's like all this time I've been faking it and now I just *am* it. Hard to explain but like, I want to be the kind of person who doesn't arrive at people's houses with my hands empty. Up till now I've kind of had to make myself do that but last night I did it because I wanted to and it just happened. There was no "I should". And there are less "I shoulds" these days than there have been.
And best of all, I finally have the headspace to watch movies - it's been weird not being able to watch film and not being able to explain why not.
I'm not faking it anymore. And it feels really good. (Also my house and life are much neater and getting far more organised and functional.)