First let me say that I had no idea just how many people had attempted to contact me during my recent absence, and the alerts that I did receive were unfortunately delayed in giving due attention to until just recently, for reasons that are outlined in general terms below.
First, and funnest, my birthday was June 21st!
I'm very very touched at how many of you sent me messages, and I wish that hadn't been during the Great Alert Crap-Out, because honestly I didn't realize that anyone even knew it was my birthday. It blew me away that so many of you took the time to drop me a line--particularly because no two were alike, which made me feel very special! I received everything from well-wishes in German to the birthday song and a few messages that were so sweet that I walked around with a goofy smile on my face for an hour (a fact that the clerk at my local gas station did not seem to appreciate and resulted in him spending an hour telling me all about how his wife is leaving him and his life is falling apart...whoops...but so worth it). Because my inbox has built up so much in my absence, I am afraid that I am not able to reply personally to each and every one but I want you each to know how happy it made me and how much I appreciated it, so shout out to:
liverpool46,
ereynolds74,
junkerin,
sanshal, and
smidgeson! *hugs you all*
So a Big Bang is...a lot harder than I thought.
How to approach this without giving too much away and violating the "surprise!" aspect of the DCBB... To start, a Big Bang is generally turning out to be way different from my works on
spnkink-meme. First, it is longer. Much longer. Second, I bit off way more than I realized with my premise, as it demands a great deal more research than I initially anticipated. And finally, the guidelines for quality and such: as opposed to my fills, the DCBB requires the piece to be beta read, as well as having deadlines for the various stages of writing. Luckily, I stumbled upon an absolutely wonderful beta,
buffenator, who takes a great, great deal of time out of her life to assist me in not only traditional beta reading but also undertakes a huge amount of research regarding nit-picky asinine things to make the story just so, even if most readers will probably not even notice them, as well as just talking out the story premise, characters, plot, vague interactions and subtleties of dynamic, etc. Basically she's perfect. So I've got a great partner in my corner for this and I expect it will be a great success and that a great deal of you will enjoy it. As it stands, though, I am still in the first fourth of the draft, and the draft due date is five weeks away. Yikes! I'm pretty confident, at the stage in planning and research that we've finally reached, that I will make the deadline, but it's become quite the demand on my free time. So that's a thing. After the draft is completed and submitted, though, we will be working on fine-tuning and revisions, and I anticipate more available time to return to prompts.
Speaking of the DCBB; Update on the Alpha Reader group.
Because of the way this story has evolved in the drafting process (specifically that I do not write cohesive chapters in order, but specific scenes and then go back and add transitions, details, etc), I am unable to post chapters as I go for review and feedback. And honestly, so much changes during the beta reading process (and for good reason, frankly), it would be very, very difficult to also incorporate Alpha Reader feedback in the initial drafting. I also sort of got the vibe that, while I was posting as I went, the group was at a bit of a loss since they couldn't really speak to one chapter's impact on another, and that it would be easier if they had access to the story as a whole rather than one chapter at a time. The short and skinny of this is that I do plan to continue the Alpha Reader group (provided those in the group are still up for it), but it will begin after the initial edits are finished with the rough draft. So basically, that's delayed but not scrapped.
Prompts submitted here and on the kink meme.
I am not going to open a specific prompt submission page for July or August, because during this time period I am going to be primarily occupied by the DCBB. After the initial draft deadline for the DCBB is met, I am going to begin diving into the prompts submitted directly to me. Because of the sheer amount in waiting, I will likely not be able to participate in another kink meme round in real time until October, which is...a huge bummer for me. But that's how I'm opting to prioritize it, as the prompts submitted are specific requests for me whereas the kink meme is open prompting for an entire community. So while this delay is a long one, I have not yet admitted defeat, and I have no intention to. I had a few people message me asking if I would be opening a current submission page (as the actively linked one is for May...good grief I'm behind), and as I said I'm not planning to until October. However, I'm leaving the May request post open. Please note that there is a substantial delay, and though I will do my best to fill every prompt (because I honestly have not received one yet that I am not interested in or plan to turn down), it will likely be literally months before they begin to surface. With this in mind, I do invite people to continue prompting. I also very much look forward to my eventual return to the kink meme.
Intermittent Fills
I feel especially bad about these, because they seem straight-up abandoned since, other than them, I only have one unfinished fill. To clarify, I have not abandoned or lost interest in any of them, and I plan to resume them as soon as possible. I am very, very sorry to the prompters who have gone so long with no activity on these stories, particularly without any real info regarding why or when they may be updated again.
"What's Left of Us" and "Under the Gun"
These two were back-burnered due to the DCBB. "What's Left of Us" is the source of the most questions and interest, although "Under the Gun" has not been without its share. I very much look forward to returning to these two and while I'm working on the DCBB I plan to post a few timestamps from "What's Left of Us" when I need a break from the DCBB. I actually have one planned out, regarding Jensen's upbringing in a traditional pack (as we haven't seen much of that, yet), and I hope to have it posted soon. I know it's not an update, and I hope you'll forgive me for that, but I really love that verse and I don't think I could give it the full attention the main story deserves while so much of my mind is occupied by a project as large as the DCBB.
The crap-pile of reasons for my absence that are not the DCBB, for those who may be interested.
(aka: a general update of my soap-opera-esque life, because bros, it really is omg)
The Job: For those of you who have been keeping up with my entire journal and actually wade through my personal posts as well as my fills, you may remember that I started a new job in May. Prior to this, I was a lottery attendant, a job which permitted me to squeak by on 27 hours a week and was pretty low-impact, which afforded me ample writing time at work. Well, I unexpectedly lost that job, so I went back to a company that I worked for back in 2008-2011. I'm now an in-home caregiver for individuals with developmental and mental disabilities. My primary client is one of the highest-needs individuals in my company's care. Let this be a warning to you all; if you have an excellent reputation in your field of work, you will be essentially punished for it. My primary client has severe behaviors that are at the very least socially inappropriate and at the worst aggressive. Not only does this limit or eliminate how much down time I have at work, but it results in my site being permanently understaffed. In the eight weeks that I have been at this site, I have trained two new workers and the worker who covers day shift on my days off has trained three and absolutely every single one quit after their first day of training. In a good week, I work four consecutive days of 12-16 hour shifts. It's insanity, bros. Hopefully we will get the worker that we need to cover the excess hours that we're covering now, and this will stabilize soon. Until then, though, I'm doing everything I can to keep sane. Speaking of which...
The Mental Health: So, between an incident on the spnkink-meme that I issued a detailed apology for and disclosed issues for the purpose of explanation and things that I've said in author's notes on a few stories, I don't think my mental health issues are exactly secrety-secret. I've made great progress in my treatment, thanks to my excellent doctor, but the additional stressors from my personal and professional life are trying to take their toll, and I've found myself increasingly more triggered, especially in regards to my disordered eating behaviors. So while I swear I've still been working behind the scenes despite the lack of posted work to show for it, I won't deny that my productivity level has decreased a bit as I try to devote sufficient attention to my health. I don't want anyone to worry; I do not have any desire to do anything other than continue my progression in treatment and move forward. I'm generally doing well, given the difficulties. But it is time and attention consuming. And a bit draining, honestly.
The Addict Roommate: Remember that post where I told you guys how my roommate stole my car? Okay. So. His treatment of me between then and now only worsened, to the point that I was beginning to feel unwelcome and mistreated in my own home. He recently moved out, so that is resolved, but ngl, it was a major blow to my last supply of motivation to give a fuck about anything at all. I may post a separate Random Ramblings entry about this in more detail because honestly bros, from the outside looking in it's a roller coaster ride from start to finish and, I'm sure, provides great entertainment value.
The Family: So my family is incredibly WASP-y. There are a grand total of two family members on my father's side that I get along with: my great-uncle and my aunt. My great uncle recently had to undergo a triple bypass (dude's eighty-five you guys) and it thankfully coincided with my biannual obligatory visit to see that part of the family. He's doing very well, but I have two follow-up trips planned to help him out and to frankly spend as much time with him as possible just in case, you know? Unfortunately, my great-aunt is a challenge, to say the least, as well as a fair amount of the rest of my family, who range from indifferent and cold to just downright hateful and unpleasant. Anyway, this is understandably time-consuming and stressful.
The good news is that all of these issues are temporary, and I don't anticipate my return to regular posting being delayed later than September or October.
I think I've touched on the most frequent questions in my inbox and alerts. There are a few messages/comments/etc that I'm going to reply to individually, just because they're not really applicable to the general person and good lord this post has gotten way out of hand. If you stuck it out, congrats.
If I missed anything that you think should be generally covered or if you have a follow-up question, please feel free to comment below. :)