What's Left of Us: Chapter One
Master Post // Announcements
Title: What’s Left of Us
Author: girlgotagun
Primary Pairing: Jensen/Jared - J2
Secondary Pairings: Jensen/Danneel, Danneel/OMC, Gen/Milo (romantic)
Rating: NC-17
Kinks: a/b/o dynamics, sexual content, hurt/comfort, mourning/grief, schmoop, polyamory
Warning: retrospective descriptions of physical, mental, and sexual abuse of both adults (graphic and non-graphic) and minors (non-graphic)
Summary: IL-01 may have been liberated, along with all of the other omega work camps, but the prison and the events that took place there left its share of scars, both physical and mental. Jensen suddenly finds his pack with four new members when he takes in Jared, Gen, Andrew, and Milo. As the only Alpha, he has to find a way to make it work and heal the omegas, as well as his pup.
Note: This story is a continuation of a smaller fill, Hollowed. You should absolutely read that story first, as it will be heavily referenced in this one. I hope you guys enjoy it! <3
Chapter One: A Long Road Ahead
. rebuild .
Mornings in the Ackles household used to be simple. Jensen was usually home, unless he was actively filming-which was becoming much more frequent since the documentary on IL-01 and the following liberation of the omega work camps, though it was mostly guest appearances and interviews-so he made breakfast while Danneel got ready for work. Usually Emily, who would be turning three the next month, would be watching cartoons.
In the two months since the liberation, however, life had gotten a little more…complex. Moving Jared in had been a no-brainer-he was Andrew’s omega, after all. But with him came Gen, and she was…well, she and Jensen were still getting a feel for one another. She took to Danneel and Emily immediately, but she didn't trust Alphas in general, and Jensen knew that she didn't trust him in particular.
The world outside was chaotic, and Gen and Jared were smack in the middle of it. They had both gained some weight, the physical effects of the starvation and suffering that they had endured slowly disappearing behind a greater body mass and a slightly health-flushed complexion. So they were becoming less recognizable, less easily identifiable as the omegas in the documentary, but it still wasn’t enough to shelter them from the prying questions when they went out. Jensen had had to enforce his position as Alpha more than once to get reporters and the general nosey public to back off.
So the omegas didn’t go out much, and while Jared didn’t seem to mind too much, Gen was climbing the walls. She sat on the kitchen counter near Jensen while he made breakfast, eyeing the omelet in the pan as he flipped it. Where there was food, there was Gen.
Jensen tried to make conversation with her. “Are you going to the training center today? Or if you want, I’m off today. I could start teaching you to drive.” It had startled him to realize that she didn’t know how, but it made sense-she was thirteen when she was sent to IL-01, and even if she had known how, neither she nor Jared would have driven in the five-plus years they were interred there.
He tried to be mindful of all of the things that needed to be done to rehabilitate the omegas, but it seemed like a never-ending list, and the resources offered by the replacement council were limited as they struggled to untangle the mess that their predecessors had left when they were taken into custody by the UCP. One of the resources they offered was work training, and idea that made Gen laugh bitterly.
“You’d think the one thing we would’ve gotten from the camp was work experience, so no I’m not going to the goddamned training center.” Gen was angry. She had a right to be. But it kept Jensen on edge, unsure of when she would be her normal bristling self and when she would just completely lose it.
Jensen plated the omelet he was making and handed it to Gen. She started eating before it had even cooled, and he winced. She, Jared, and Andrew never let food sit, like they were sure it was going to disappear if they didn’t eat it the second it was put in front of them. Jensen could understand where the fear came from, so he didn’t stop them, but often he forgot to wait to give it to them until it was a reasonable temperature. They never complained, but he could imagine that the roof of their mouth stayed burned and raw.
“Where’s Jared?” His question earned him a pointed look from Gen as she ate. His shoulders slumped. “Right. Andrew’s with him?”
Gen nodded. Jensen sat the pan on a cool eye and turned off the stove, bracing himself to head upstairs. Andrew was supposed to finally start day care that day, his pediatrician insisting that now that the majority of his health concerns were being effectively addressed it was important to start integrating the pup into normal social interactions. It was going to take a bit to convince Jared to go with that idea.
. rebuild .
Jared’s room was dark, and stifling hot. Jensen felt the warmth pull the air from his lungs as he stepped in, his body taking a second to adjust to such a difference. Jared was always cold, and it seemed to really freak the omega out-the night terrors were worse when it was cold. He couldn’t stand the central air in the house, and even with the vents closed some of it leaked through, but Jensen couldn’t let the July heat leech in and overheat the rest of the pack, so instead he had bought a few space heaters. Jared had set them up in the corners of the room, and they stayed on nearly all the time.
Jensen couldn’t see Jared or Andrew, but he knew that they were in the mass of blankets and clothes on the bed. A few days after being released from the hospital and coming home with Jensen, the omegas nesting instincts had hit full-force, and it seemed like every extra blanket in the house had gone missing, along with a few of Jensen’s shirts and even a scarf of Danneel’s. The one time that Jensen had tried to clear out the mess, telling Jared that he didn’t need a nest, that he was safe and that the blankets would be in the linen closet if he needed one, no need to hoard them, the omega had become so distressed that Jensen nearly choked on the scent. He hadn’t tried again.
It wouldn’t be so bad if the omega hadn’t also taken to hoarding food. Because there was no shortage of food, it often spoiled in the nest. Once a week Jensen had to put his foot down and clear that out, explaining to Jared that the room would start to smell and that he could have food any time he wanted, he just couldn’t keep it in the damned bed.
It wasn’t that Jared was completely feral. But he had come out of the last especially terrifying three weeks at the camp a little worse for wear, and his civilized mind and baser instincts hadn’t quite managed to re-separate themselves yet. He was completely lucid when spoken to, capable of rationality, but his behavior was instinct-driven. The doctors said that he would eventually start to ease back to his previous self. Just had to be patient until then.
They also said that the adjustment would be easier if he had a real Alpha, if he was claimed, his instincts soothed and reassured that he was being cared and provided for, but well… That was an entirely different issue altogether.
Jared sat down on the edge of the bed and dug around until he found a spot where the blankets and clothes folded over and then carefully parted them to expose Jared and Andrew. They were awake, the pup curled up against Jared’s chest, the omega’s arms wrapped around him protectively.
Jared turned questioning eyes on Jensen. “You’re serious about this?” Jensen had told him about the pediatrician’s recommendation the previous week, the Alpha figuring it would be better to give him advanced notice so that he could adjust to the idea. Jared hadn’t been very eager to part with the pup again once they were reunited, though he didn’t stop Andrew if he wanted to come out into the rest of the house to see Gen or the rest of the pack. The pup was actually fairly social, and it happened pretty frequently.
Jensen sighed. “Come on, Jared, it’s important for him. He’s gotta learn to function in pack, or…” Or he may as well still be in ill-one. Jensen had more sense than to say that, but the sentiment hung in the air all the same.
Jared sighed and unwrapped his arms from around the pup before sitting up. Andrew began to crawl out of the nest and settled himself on Jensen’s lap. The Alpha could see now that he was already dressed for the day, and he smelled like he had recently bathed. So Jared had gotten him ready to go. That was something. Jensen hadn’t heard them moving around that morning.
“You could come with us. I’m sure Gen’ll jump at the chance to get out of the house, and Danneel left for work. We could take Emily to the park or go out to lunch or something.” He noticed the omega eyeing him warily. “Come on, your nest will still be here when you get back.”
Jared seemed to consider it for a minute and then nodded, extracting himself from the blankets and padding off to the bathroom. Jensen heard the shower turn on and he looked down at Andrew. “Well, that was surprisingly easy.” He set the pup down. “Go on downstairs; Gen’ll make you breakfast.”
“Okay.” Andrew raced from the room. The kid raced everywhere, never slowing down.
Once he was gone Jensen stood up and headed for the bathroom. He knocked before going in and then lowered the lid on the toilet before sitting down. “How’re you doing today, Jared?”
“I’m in the shower.” The answer was pointed, but Jensen could tell that the omega was more trying to avoid answering the question than actually upset that Jensen had followed him in.
Jensen didn’t answer him, waiting instead for Jared to start talking. Sometimes it took a minute, but pushing it would be more likely to make the omega shut down. Ninety-nine percent of his hesitance about anything was related to the things that had happened at IL-01, and Jensen had found out early on that if he didn’t let Jared mull it over and pull himself out of the thoughts, they would swallow him up.
Eventually the water turned off and Jared’s arm appeared from behind the curtain to grab a towel from the nearby rack before the curtain opened and he stepped out, the towel wrapped around his waist.
“I just…everyone knows him, Jensen.” The omega shook his head as he gathered up his discarded tee shirt and pajama pants from the floor and started to head back to his room.
Jensen got up and followed him, leaning against the doorframe as the omega rummaged through a dresser for clothes for the day. Sometimes the omega seemed overwhelmed by choices; he had worn the threadbare gray camp uniform for too many years to be used to making choices. Jensen had gotten him mostly jeans and plain tee shirts to make it as easy as possible.
“He’s gonna be alright, Jared.” The Alpha kept his voice steady and calm, as though talking to a horse who may startle. “It’s a really good day care.”
Jared nodded. “I know that. But this thing was so big… Some of the other pups may have had pack involved; their Alphas may have been guards in camps or…” He shrugged. “I just keep thinking, what if…” He trailed off, afraid to give voice to the things that kept running through his mind.
Jensen wanted to tell him that he was worrying for nothing, but it would be pointless, and besides, he couldn’t actually guarantee it. His eyes fell on the tattooed numbers on Jared’s shoulder. If he had followed the doctor’s first recommendation and claimed Jared, they would be encircled in a scarred bite mark. Jared’s shoulder was clean other than the ugly reminder.
Jared noticed where the Alpha’s eyes were fixed and his shoulders slumped. “And I’m still not…” He shook his head. “They said it would happen when I started to heal but…” His eyes were downcast, not looking at Jensen as shame seeped deep into his bones. “What if it never happens?”
Jensen didn’t have an answer for that.
The doctors had warned Jared that as he started to heal, his body would begin to restore certain functions that it had shut down to preserve energy demands in the stress and famine it had gone through. That included sexual functioning, and they said that he may very well slam into his heat with no warning one day, and that his heat cycle would take awhile to normalize. But while his secondary instincts, like nesting, returned full-force, Jared hadn’t even started to produce slick again.
It was a source of both agony and relief. Agony, because there was something deep in his hindbrain that was pained by the idea that he may be barren or dysfunctional. An omega’s natural role was to breed and be sexually compatible with an Alpha. So for his body not to work right brought with it the harsh possibility of being unmated for the rest of his life, that dull ache that had never gone away but had, as Milo told him years ago, become less important over the years settling into permanence in his soul.
The relief came from the fact that no one in their pack seemed to have any idea how the situation should be handled even if it did present itself. Jensen was mated to Danneel, and the two weren’t unhappy. The traditional pack structure of an Alpha claiming both a beta and an omega had fallen out of normalcy with the passing of the OSA, and it hadn’t been widely practiced since long before either he or Jared presented. The idea of trying to balance himself between two mates made Jensen anxious, and he could tell that it had a similar effect on both Jared and Danneel. Aside from that, Jared was still too unsteady in his new life to be able to really consider being mated amongst everything else. For now, they lived in a sort of partnership as two sets of parents with a common link, and everything had been working well enough. But it was sure as shit going to get a hell of a lot more complicated if Jared’s sexual functioning and instincts were restored.
“Try not to worry about it too much. Gen hasn’t gone into heat yet, either. It’s probably just going to take some time.” Jensen knew his words wouldn’t be a great comfort. Gen had been brutalized in the camp during her first and only heat, and had experienced a late-term miscarriage of the resulting pup. The doctors said that it was likely that her body was frozen in a nearly pre-presented stage, and that she may never display the functions and behaviors that an adult omega normally would.
Jared snorted and slammed the dresser drawer shut. It was frustrating. Jared’s mind still reacted to Jensen. The Alpha had been the only one that Jared had ever been with and was the father of his pup; Jared had no choice in the matter. Jensen’s scent peaked, and Jared’s mind started screaming at him. But the physical effects were missing, and it all just added up to Jared being torn between need and inability, and that wasn’t even taking into account Jensen’s mated status.
“It’ll happen, Jared.” Jensen tried to sound sure.
“And then what?” Jared sighed, not looking at the Alpha as he dressed quickly. “You’re mated, Jensen.”
The Alpha didn’t answer him, and after a moment Jared shook his head and left the room, heading downstairs to join Andrew at breakfast.
Jensen took the opportunity to rifle through the nest, finding as much of that week’s hoarded food as he could and gathering it up to throw out.
. rebuild .
The day care that Danneel had picked for Andrew was a small building with brightly-colored walls and an impressive one-to-three staff-to-pup ratio. The staff were all omegas, which seemed to bring Jared some peace of mind. Gen stood by the door and peered around, an interested look on her face. Jensen thought that if she ever agreed to go to the training center, maybe they could find her placement somewhere working with pups. She’d be good at it. As tense and distrustful as she was with most presented pack, she did well with pups, nurturing and patient.
Jensen held Emily as Jared talked to Sophia, the omega that Andrew was assigned to. They were getting some pretty strange looks, an Alpha with two omegas and two pups. Jensen ignored it, but it seemed to be putting Jared on edge. It occurred to Jensen that the omega didn’t know why they were being stared at, and he remembered the earlier worry that Andrew being recognized could be a problem.
Jensen leaned over, bringing his mouth close to Jared’s ear as he spoke quietly. “They’re confused about our pack structure. It’s not about the camp.”
Jared looked doubtful, but Jensen could see his protective hold on Andrew loosening, and when Sophia suggested that she should take Andrew to meet some of the other pups, Jared only hesitated for a second before letting go, his eyes tracking the pup as Sophia led him further into the playroom.
“He’s gonna be fine, Jared.” Gen’s voice was quiet as she came over and rested a hand on his shoulder. “It’s only for a few hours.”
Jared visibly relaxed, and Jensen shoved back a stab of annoyance. He could tell Jared all day that something would be fine, and it barely helped. Gen says it, and it’s all good. He reminded himself that Jared and Gen had been through hell together every day for nearly six years, whereas Jensen was the one who had landed Jared there.
And there was the rub, really. How the hell were they supposed to make this work, figure out all of the little kinks in the system, without the omegas trusting Jensen as the Alpha of the pack? And how could they trust him when it was his fault that Jared had gone through what he had done?
It was going to be a long road, that was for sure.
Continue to Chapter Two