(no subject)
What to write? What to think? Should I think at all or just sit here mindlessly and do nothing. I shouldn't be upset and I should be scared. I can't really tell if I am but I feel like I could be everything. I read all these things on the internet that have been wrote and although I don't know when they were wrote it still bothers me. I take everything she says and writes as her being real. As her saying what she means but what do I know? Things went well last night though. Christy was so sweet to me. I love her so much but hey, I ramble about that all the time. I just can't help it. I write how I feel. She told me the other night that I was everything I wasn't before (if that makes any since). That I, I guess, treat her better. We are going to a baseball game tonight with her mom and dad; I'm really excited. I can't wait to see them. Her mom told me that she likes Christy being with me. That makes me really happy because I have such a hard time letting myself feel excepted by them. It's getting so much easier. I got to see my cousin's new born baby yesterday. I held him for like two hours. His name is Michael Keith. Christy and I were talking about having a baby early yesterday and she's really got me going. And after seeing Michael I really want one. I wish it was as easy as having sex. It makes me really sad that I can't give her or myself what we want. It kills me inside. Anyway, I guess I should get out of here now. Schools over.