glory
i never have understood what you say, your words are well intended but make no contact with me. i'm glad to see you're moving on, (aka forgetting). teach me how to forget, for i want that more than any thing. my professor in poetry workshop is always telling me, "ali, can't you see this is a blessing? this displaced pain is a blessing and you must embrace every experience to truly be a poet." ... to truly be a poet, um. i don't know any other way, this is all i have, these words that could feed me for days on end. i'm trying to believe in anything like love agian, but i'm too tired to be inspired by the notions. i had it a few times, but that seems like so long ago now. my roommate annoys me, the way she keeps asking why i lock myself up in my room, she asked if she should call my mother. ha. yes, call mama and tell her i'm lost and to bring a warm coat. this girl doesn't know me, because if she did she would know my mother left a long time ago and i have always been this way. my sister called me just the other day and said motherhood was tiresome. my nephew, 8 months now, is growing up fast and my sister is learning how to let go. how much we have in common. although i'm motherless in a biological terms, i know the lesson well. lovers and mothers, what a concept.