there's no home for me anymore

[girlchildpoet]

words have failed us
i'm in cherokee
where are you?
i sit by the coffee shop window
watch christmas traffic twist into a knot
of red lights and honking horns

"it's coming on christmas
they're cuttin' down the trees
they're putting up reindeer and
singing songs of joy and peace
oh, i wish i had a river, i could
skate away on"

why do i come back to this place
looking for redemption
i just needed someone to talk to
my sister, asleep, can't understand

"she tried hard to help me
she put me at ease
and loved me so naughty made me weak in the knees
i'm so hard to handle
i'm selfish and i'm sad
now i've gone and lost the best baby that i ever had."

the man behind the counter, called me sweetheart
flattering
i just want somebody to turn to me and say
it's cold outside, honey, run on in
i just want to find some comfort
far, far from here
and begin agian
with unbound wings

for whatever it's worth
i feel your passing
as i feel mine
conducted a small funeral
for my old life
i surrendered it
to the wind, valiant
but gravity won agian
so i have no choice but think
life is beautiful
and terrifying,
but always beautiful

my pretty little addiction
visits
in the bathroom with cold tiles
dirty grout
mother gets home at four
better do this quick
one, two, three
- sailing-
laughing all the way