Sometimes Love Aint Enough
Break Ups
I told Tim I didn't want to date him anymore this morning. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Not easy for me at all. But I had to be honest with him. He deserved that. He was a good guy, probably the best guy I ever met but I just was feeling like nothing was going anywhere. We were close, in fact he is one of my best friends and I hope he will be even after this. I had so many awesome times with him and we did so much together this past year and I already miss him because I love him. I am just not in love. Maybe it is me but I was just didn't feel what I know I can. And I am not a bad person for this. This has nothing to do with anyone else in my life. I am not interested in anyone else either. I can honestly say that in my life I have felt sparks and felt like I was complete with someone and I know it does exsist. So I know I am not expecting to much out of any relationship. I set my standards high 2 years ago and I have to just stick with what really makes me, be myself. I can't try to keep myself happy and someone else. It is impossible. I have to find someone who loves themself and I want to see Tim happy. I think he dserves that. My heart feels broken right now, it really does. And I don't even know who to talk to so that is why I am writing. Erin and I have been talking about this and I have let all my emotions out with her for the past few days. She thinks I should have just let him know I was bored and see if Tim and I could change things. But we have tried. And I just didn't feel like I made him happy ever. And even though my life is not perfect I am vert determined to do my best at everything I can. What I am saying is I like me and I am happy and I want to make someone happy and just feel that "love" again. The kind of love I felt the day I got off and on the airplanes in Colorado every time. It does exsist. I know people who are experiencing it. It does. And I think it is fair for me to say Tim and I both, individually deserve it.
I told Tim I didn't want to date him anymore this morning. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Not easy for me at all. But I had to be honest with him. He deserved that. He was a good guy, probably the best guy I ever met but I just was feeling like nothing was going anywhere. We were close, in fact he is one of my best friends and I hope he will be even after this. I had so many awesome times with him and we did so much together this past year and I already miss him because I love him. I am just not in love. Maybe it is me but I was just didn't feel what I know I can. And I am not a bad person for this. This has nothing to do with anyone else in my life. I am not interested in anyone else either. I can honestly say that in my life I have felt sparks and felt like I was complete with someone and I know it does exsist. So I know I am not expecting to much out of any relationship. I set my standards high 2 years ago and I have to just stick with what really makes me, be myself. I can't try to keep myself happy and someone else. It is impossible. I have to find someone who loves themself and I want to see Tim happy. I think he dserves that. My heart feels broken right now, it really does. And I don't even know who to talk to so that is why I am writing. Erin and I have been talking about this and I have let all my emotions out with her for the past few days. She thinks I should have just let him know I was bored and see if Tim and I could change things. But we have tried. And I just didn't feel like I made him happy ever. And even though my life is not perfect I am vert determined to do my best at everything I can. What I am saying is I like me and I am happy and I want to make someone happy and just feel that "love" again. The kind of love I felt the day I got off and on the airplanes in Colorado every time. It does exsist. I know people who are experiencing it. It does. And I think it is fair for me to say Tim and I both, individually deserve it.