(no subject)
my mother is so sneaky sometimes.
she tries the whole, hey well you just got home, come give me a hug so i can try and trick you into getting close enough to smell the smoke on you. and i'm like, nah mom, i'm not buying that one. but you feel bad, cause it's your mom, so you go in for a quick hug.
but your hair's greasy, and so she tells you you should probably wash it.
so she's doing that annoying mom thing and playing with my greasy hair, so i couldn't leave even if i wanted to, because my hair's attatched to my head. you know.
so she's like, you smell like smoke. who was smoking?
and you're like, i dunno, people smoke, their parents smoke, sometimes i come home smelling like smoke.
and she can't really prove shit, so you think you got clean away.
but you're stoned, so it never works out like that.
so you ask your forty four year old mother,
"do i smell like cigarette smoke or pot smoke?"
and she says, "you smell like cigarette smoke and febreeze."
and i'm like, "well yeah, to cover up the smoke."
so that just made it look like i knew i had to hide something. but like thirty seconds ago i had gotten clean away, but i'm stoned so i just keep talking.
and then i pull a, "well i'm gonna go do homework mommy dearest"
so you smell like smoke and you kinda fumbled a little cause you can't shut up, but you got clean away and she doesn't know you're stoned. she probably thinks you were with people who were smoking cigarettes. BETTTTTT!
and then, just when you think you fucking outsmarted them, she goes,
"have you eaten? are you hungry?"
and you're blazed, so without even thinking you go
"YEAH, I'M SO HUNGRY."
and like, i never really eat much. so like halfway through my adamant statement i'm like, "WELL, KIND OF. I'LL PROBABLY JUST EAT SOMETHING SMALL, IDK."
and she's like, oh, okay. bet. so i'm like, eh, not so bad.
but then she comes into the kitchen and sees me making this HUUUUGE bowl of pasta.
and she just laughs.
and i'm like, BUSTEDDDDD. SNEAKYWENCH!
like it's not even that she's gonna punish me, cause she doesn't care, but like, she wanted to play that game. the cat and mouse game. and like see if she can corner me into giving away that fact that i'm high, and have us both know that we both know what's up, without anyone even mentioning anything about anyone being high. AND I LOST, even though i knew we were playing this game.
i really hope that made sense to someone besides me.
she tries the whole, hey well you just got home, come give me a hug so i can try and trick you into getting close enough to smell the smoke on you. and i'm like, nah mom, i'm not buying that one. but you feel bad, cause it's your mom, so you go in for a quick hug.
but your hair's greasy, and so she tells you you should probably wash it.
so she's doing that annoying mom thing and playing with my greasy hair, so i couldn't leave even if i wanted to, because my hair's attatched to my head. you know.
so she's like, you smell like smoke. who was smoking?
and you're like, i dunno, people smoke, their parents smoke, sometimes i come home smelling like smoke.
and she can't really prove shit, so you think you got clean away.
but you're stoned, so it never works out like that.
so you ask your forty four year old mother,
"do i smell like cigarette smoke or pot smoke?"
and she says, "you smell like cigarette smoke and febreeze."
and i'm like, "well yeah, to cover up the smoke."
so that just made it look like i knew i had to hide something. but like thirty seconds ago i had gotten clean away, but i'm stoned so i just keep talking.
and then i pull a, "well i'm gonna go do homework mommy dearest"
so you smell like smoke and you kinda fumbled a little cause you can't shut up, but you got clean away and she doesn't know you're stoned. she probably thinks you were with people who were smoking cigarettes. BETTTTTT!
and then, just when you think you fucking outsmarted them, she goes,
"have you eaten? are you hungry?"
and you're blazed, so without even thinking you go
"YEAH, I'M SO HUNGRY."
and like, i never really eat much. so like halfway through my adamant statement i'm like, "WELL, KIND OF. I'LL PROBABLY JUST EAT SOMETHING SMALL, IDK."
and she's like, oh, okay. bet. so i'm like, eh, not so bad.
but then she comes into the kitchen and sees me making this HUUUUGE bowl of pasta.
and she just laughs.
and i'm like, BUSTEDDDDD. SNEAKYWENCH!
like it's not even that she's gonna punish me, cause she doesn't care, but like, she wanted to play that game. the cat and mouse game. and like see if she can corner me into giving away that fact that i'm high, and have us both know that we both know what's up, without anyone even mentioning anything about anyone being high. AND I LOST, even though i knew we were playing this game.
i really hope that made sense to someone besides me.