(no subject)
hello friends of ashley,
its sean, ashleys boyfriend. i just wanted to tell all of you that i love ashley more than anything in this world...well, ok, shes tied with my daughter but still, thats a whole lot of lovins. anyways, i know that you guys get to hear alot about me n ashs fights n what an asshole i can be sometimes, which im sure on here it seems like most of the time. but think about this, when ash n i arent fighting she doesnt write in here cuz shes too busy talkin to me n listenin to me tell her how much i love her n tellin me how much she loves me n all that jazz so, yeah, you guys really dont get a fair perspective. but anyways lemmie get to the point, im moving back to baltimore. ash has always been right, i shlda never left, it was stupid of me to leave, she was right every time she told me i cld do so much better for myself there than i cld here in ohio, she was right every time she said that being apart is killing our relationship, n she was right everytime she said she cld tell im not happy here n that ill prolly never be happy here. here i am a year after leaving baltimore, with not one shitty job, but two. i work my ass off without a day off ever, n i still dont make half of what i made there, not to mention the fact that all my benifits were paid there as well. yes i get to spend a bit more time with my kid, but what kinda father am i living with my parents, never having a day off to spend with my kid n when i do get time to spend with her, not having a dime to my name? im completely alone here, save for my kid, n my mom n dad (who i barely get along with) ive no one, ive a few ppl i work with that i get along with but most of em are still in high school n not ppl i can hang out with. every day i look forward to getting home n callin ashley n tellin her how much i wish i was with her n how i love her to death n want to marry her, which is all true. but it frustrates her, she knows i feel that way but im doing nothing to make it happen. i know babe, well now i am. i talked to my rents, talked to my kid n talked to myself, we all realized i dont need to be here, here is doing nothing but making me miserable. ash gets so mad at me all the time, not cuz im an asshole, but because she knows my potential n doesnt see me doing anything with it. ashley is my best and truest friend cuz she tells me the truth, she tells me when im fucking up, she gets down on me cuz im not doing what i cld do to make my life better, sometimes i get mad at her for it, well most of the time, cuz i guess i just dont wanna hear it, but i guess after a time every lil piece that i listened to kinda strung themselves together to make a complete sentence that said "sean, i love you, i know you can do so much better and it kills me to see you wasting your life." and i finaly listened. im not just moving there cuz i miss her, im moving there cuz i know theres more oppertunity for me there, i know theres more room for me to grow, and i know i wont be alone n miserable, n i know that i since i want to marry ashley, i need to be there with her to do so. in the year ive been here ive put out more applications n went to more interviews than i have my entire life, with nothing to show for it. a coupla months in baltimore n had the best job ive ever had in my life, n it looks like i might even be able to get that job back when i move back there in a few weeks. so yes, im moving there to be with the love of my life but im also moving there to try n make my life something worth loving. i do intend to marry ashley if she'll have me n i hope for all of your blessings (at least those of you ashley care what you have to say). i know when ashley complains about me or tells you about our fights i prolly come off an asshole, but if you look at the nice ones in between, its obvious she loves me to death, so i must not be all bad right? i hope all of you are happy for ashley, i love her, she deserves the best, n i hope that i can be the best there is.
i love you bug :*
its sean, ashleys boyfriend. i just wanted to tell all of you that i love ashley more than anything in this world...well, ok, shes tied with my daughter but still, thats a whole lot of lovins. anyways, i know that you guys get to hear alot about me n ashs fights n what an asshole i can be sometimes, which im sure on here it seems like most of the time. but think about this, when ash n i arent fighting she doesnt write in here cuz shes too busy talkin to me n listenin to me tell her how much i love her n tellin me how much she loves me n all that jazz so, yeah, you guys really dont get a fair perspective. but anyways lemmie get to the point, im moving back to baltimore. ash has always been right, i shlda never left, it was stupid of me to leave, she was right every time she told me i cld do so much better for myself there than i cld here in ohio, she was right every time she said that being apart is killing our relationship, n she was right everytime she said she cld tell im not happy here n that ill prolly never be happy here. here i am a year after leaving baltimore, with not one shitty job, but two. i work my ass off without a day off ever, n i still dont make half of what i made there, not to mention the fact that all my benifits were paid there as well. yes i get to spend a bit more time with my kid, but what kinda father am i living with my parents, never having a day off to spend with my kid n when i do get time to spend with her, not having a dime to my name? im completely alone here, save for my kid, n my mom n dad (who i barely get along with) ive no one, ive a few ppl i work with that i get along with but most of em are still in high school n not ppl i can hang out with. every day i look forward to getting home n callin ashley n tellin her how much i wish i was with her n how i love her to death n want to marry her, which is all true. but it frustrates her, she knows i feel that way but im doing nothing to make it happen. i know babe, well now i am. i talked to my rents, talked to my kid n talked to myself, we all realized i dont need to be here, here is doing nothing but making me miserable. ash gets so mad at me all the time, not cuz im an asshole, but because she knows my potential n doesnt see me doing anything with it. ashley is my best and truest friend cuz she tells me the truth, she tells me when im fucking up, she gets down on me cuz im not doing what i cld do to make my life better, sometimes i get mad at her for it, well most of the time, cuz i guess i just dont wanna hear it, but i guess after a time every lil piece that i listened to kinda strung themselves together to make a complete sentence that said "sean, i love you, i know you can do so much better and it kills me to see you wasting your life." and i finaly listened. im not just moving there cuz i miss her, im moving there cuz i know theres more oppertunity for me there, i know theres more room for me to grow, and i know i wont be alone n miserable, n i know that i since i want to marry ashley, i need to be there with her to do so. in the year ive been here ive put out more applications n went to more interviews than i have my entire life, with nothing to show for it. a coupla months in baltimore n had the best job ive ever had in my life, n it looks like i might even be able to get that job back when i move back there in a few weeks. so yes, im moving there to be with the love of my life but im also moving there to try n make my life something worth loving. i do intend to marry ashley if she'll have me n i hope for all of your blessings (at least those of you ashley care what you have to say). i know when ashley complains about me or tells you about our fights i prolly come off an asshole, but if you look at the nice ones in between, its obvious she loves me to death, so i must not be all bad right? i hope all of you are happy for ashley, i love her, she deserves the best, n i hope that i can be the best there is.
i love you bug :*